I was supposed to be babysitting, not baby-making.

He was supposed to be her husband, not my lover.

Those were my thoughts as he got into bed with me. It was his bed; he’d bought it, and the playroom at the end of the corridor. I’d heard him pad along the landing and go for a pee in the night, noting that he hadn’t bothered to switch the landing lights on. I’d thought he was being considerate; not wanting to wake his slumbering wife or his two darling children. I thought he’d taken a wrong turn and gone into the wrong bedroom; got into the wrong bed.

I thought he might just go to sleep.

“Hello, McBride.”

The words were whispered into my ear, like a secret. I lay unmoving, my eyes still shut.

“I’m going to fuck you.”

Although whispered, those words held a striking urgency that I’d never heard in a man’s voice before.

The words made my body stiffen… and inside, I felt that wet slick of sexual excitement whenever Mr Cooper spoke to me in an adult way. I was only sixteen and he was the first man to talk to me like that. He’d been the first man to squeeze my tits; the first to finger my vagina; the first to lick me down there. His was the first erect penis I had seen and touched and tasted. His was the only spunk I had had on my hand and in my mouth.

And now his was the first cock that was going to fuck me.

I was filled with fear; not because I wasn’t ready, although I hadn’t been expecting to be fucked in the playroom in the middle of the night. It was supposed to have been in a hotel during the school holidays. I had an acute fear of discovery. How the hell did people have sex with each other when they shared a house. A hotel seemed better because there was a locked door between you and the outside world. That was why I only ever masturbated in the bathroom at home. Never in my own bedroom.

“I’m sorry, McBride. I know what we said about the hotel… but when I saw you in those pyjamas… I can’t wait.” His hands were inside my pyjama top, on my tits, squeezing the breath out of my lungs as electric arousal overloaded my nervous system; I wasn’t used to being touched. “You’re so sexy.”

“Sexy? Me?” I didn’t know how to be ‘sexy’.

“Don’t act all innocent, McBride. You know I think you’re sexy.” I heard his zip and suddenly his hard cock was in my hands as he loomed over me in the darkness.

I knew enough about men to know that if their cock was hard, they thought you were sexy. I let my hands play along its length; felt its pulsing heat… the huge bulbous head. It was amazing to think that I had had that in my mouth: it seemed too big for my lips to stretch around.

Between my legs there was a sudden aching emptiness behind my labia, needing to be filled.

I made an involuntary noise, and as if sensing my need, Mr Cooper stopped caressing my breasts and slipped his hand inside my Scooby-Do pyjama bottoms. I longed to be in a situation where I could wear lingerie. Maybe then I’d feel like a proper woman.

Maybe I’d feel like a proper woman after I’d had Mr Cooper’s cock inside me.

My legs parted without conscious thought as I felt fingers fumbling across my crotch. I loved the way those fingers felt… so much naughtier than my own fingers when they touched my clitoris and pushed up inside me.

They touched me for only a second or two – not even time for me to get used to the sensation. My mind was racing. He’s making sure I’m wet enough.

I hope I am wet enough.

I hope I’m good enough.

I hope I don’t do anything unsexy.

“Fuck, I love how wet you get for me,” Mr Cooper said with a huskiness I’d never previously heard in his voice.

I lifted my bum as he pulled at my pyjamas – not even bothering to pull both legs down. He grunted with effort as he pulled his boxer shorts off, and then he was positioning himself above me and the width of his body was forcing my legs apart under him.

Fuck!

I felt bewildered and shocked as I realised that he was going to actually do it, with his kids and wife only a few metres away. I was suddenly scared because someone might hear and I imagined what would happen if someone did and came in and found me half naked with my legs spread and my wet pussy on display.

I imagined how horrible that would be.

And suddenly, I couldn’t enjoy the moment; the thing which I had obsessed about for months. There had been candles and cuddling and caressing in every imagined version of how I’d lose my virginity. I’d never imagined myself being utterly petrified of being discovered at the moment I felt his penis nudging and pressing at me.

What if it really hurt and I screamed?

I needed him to stop.

“Mr Cooper, please…” I didn’t have time to say ‘stop’. He went straight in, as much as I could take in one sudden thrust.

It was too late to stop.

“Oh, McBride!” Mr Cooper was moaning and whispering and grunting in my ear. “You’re amazing!”

“I am?”  I squeaked. In what way was I amazing? I was just lying there, trying not to cry as sharp fiery pains filled my groin.

“Yes! You’re so… so tight.”

So ‘tight’ was a good thing for him? It wasn’t a good thing for me. ‘Tight’ hurt.

It hurt even more when he started pushing in and out of me.

He began panting and groaning, as though it was a challenging athletic event; running up a few flights of stairs maybe. All I was doing was lying there with my legs spread wide and my vagina burning.

From my experience of wanking him and sucking him, it was clear that Mr Cooper was enjoying himself against the backdrop of my wincey pain and that filled me with pride.

He’s enjoying fucking me.

Keep calm and let him carry on.

“Oh, Jesus! You’re the best I’ve ever had. The best I’ve ever had.” Mr Cooper said it over and over, like a mantra.

The best he’d ever had? I didn’t let myself believe it, but it did make me feel something that I was able to please him, even though I had no idea what I was doing.

Just lie here.

And then there was the special grunting which led up to Mr Cooper’s climaxes. I was both surprised and relieved that he was getting there so soon. His body stretched and shuddered and I felt his cock pulsing as it stayed deep inside me.

He’s spunking into me.

I couldn’t feel it or taste it in the same way as I had when he’d climaxed so shockingly into my mouth, but I knew exactly what was happening and could picture it in my mind. I could also picture the diagrams starting on page 123 of my Biology textbook.

Maybe he wants to get me pregnant too?

I had Mr Cooper’s sperm in my vagina. Even now, millions of them would be swimming towards my fallopian tubes. I felt a sudden, overwhelming connection and I groaned with a sound which I had never previously needed. A dizzying new emotion filled my being from head to toe – happiness and elation being cemented into something tangible and permanent with my lover.

I am a woman.

Holy fuck!

I cradled my belly, imagining it swelling with Mr Cooper’s baby inside. I’d be just like his wife. Maybe he would want to marry me as well as fuck me.

I was feeling so content that I lay there with my legs hanging open unselfconsciously as Mr Cooper rolled off me and looked down at my used genitalia. He made a noise and grabbed a wad of tissues, peeling some off to wipe the sheen off his deflating cock before offering the rest to me.

“You might want to clean yourself up a bit.”

I wanted to do no such thing; I wanted to bask in the feeling of being a grown up and being able to talk about my post-sex pussy with my lover. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel embarrassed by my body. My too-small tits might have been sagging down into my armpits but it didn’t matter. I was so attractive to Mr Cooper that he hadn’t been able to resist me.

He hadn’t been able to wait.

Now that it was done, I felt elated.

“McBride! You’re going to get it on the sheets!” Mr Cooper lunged down and I felt like a child with a melting ice cream as he unceremoniously wiped me.

Suddenly, I was so embarrassed; as though a switch had flicked inside me. My legs slammed shut around Mr Cooper’s hand as I tried to hide myself from him. I felt so stupid and inexperienced – I bet that every other woman in the world knew to wipe herself to protect the sheets. I bet that Mr Cooper didn’t need to tell his wife to wipe herself after sex.

I felt so small.

My world had come crashing down and he didn’t even know.

“I’m sorry… I should have realised you’d be sensitive.” Mr Cooper sat there waiting… waiting for me to release the hand trapped between my thighs. “Would you like me to make you come?” There was nothing romantic about the offer; it was purely mechanical.

“Erm…” There was that nagging feeling that we were going to get caught.

The fear.

But…

An orgasm was exactly what I needed.

Somehow, I managed to unclamp my legs.

“You’re so beautiful down there,” Mr Cooper murmured as he pushed my thighs further and further apart. “I just want to eat you.”

He guided me so that I was lying on my back with my knees bent over the edge of the bed. After wedging a pillow under my head, he knelt on the floor between my knees.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

I felt my self-worth notch up just a little bit at the compliment and a lot as Mr Cooper used his mouth for more than words. There was something about the way he licked my pussy that provided incontrovertible proof that he loved me.

There was no way that you could pretend when you were doing the most intimate thing possible to a woman. I had been going to say ‘girl’ but apparently, post-fucked me thought of herself as a woman.

I sighed at the thought of being a woman as Mr Cooper’s enthusiastic tongue dug its way between my protective labia and ran up the length of my slit.

All was well with the world when Mr Cooper licked me like that and I had to concentrate on not coming, just so that I could enjoy the emotional connection of having my pussy loved for a few moments.

Please don’t lick my clit.

Please don’t lick my clit!

My hand found his forehead and pushed him away urgently, allowing me to surf the waves of a mini-climax. I looked down and our eyes caught and he had that expression which made me feel like a goddess. It was such a special way of looking at me, as if he couldn’t believe his luck. And this was the most intense version I had ever seen, given that the lower half of his face was shiny with my sex juices and he was clearly happier than I had ever seen anyone in my entire life.

“I love you, McBride.”

I groaned as pure joy filled every part of my body, and this time when I reached out, I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth onto my hungry pussy.

He did that thing where he licked me so softly and so slowly that I knew it was for his pleasure, not mine – it was Mr Cooper genuinely savouring me.

Every part of me.

And I knew that it eventually ended with him licking my clitoris and nothing but my clitoris.

The anticipation was murder – but we both knew that the end result would be amazing.

I stretched my arms across the bed and somehow pinched the corner of the other pillow without disturbing what was happening between my legs. I was going to need to smother myself when the moment came.

I sniggered at the unintended joke but my body was fidgeting to the tune of my clitoris as Mr Cooper’s tongue swirled incessantly around it.

The fluttering butterflies gathering in my groin made my hips dance. It was almost time to smother myself as my lungs became uncontrollable. I couldn’t breathe in; I couldn’t breathe out. It was crushing and dizzying - like the pressure of the worst ever attack of anxiety. It made no difference as I pulled the pillow tight over my own face as my back arched up away from the bed.

My whole body erupted with an agonising ecstasy of sexual fulfilment. Even in the moment, I wondered whether all my orgasms would be as powerful now that I had been ‘broken in’, as though I really had crossed a threshold into adulthood by having had a cock inside me. The convulsions were immense, tearing at my innocent little world in a way that I hadn’t imagined possible.

And then…

And then Mr Cooper scooped me up, and still naked, he sat me on his lap and held me. After a while he dragged the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around us and simply held and rocked me, supporting my entire weight.

I felt so safe and loved.

“You’re so precious,” he murmured into my ear as he ran his fingers over and through my hair, tugging down on it playfully. “So, so precious.”

Precious.

That was exactly how I felt after my first time.