It’s been two weeks since I’ve heard from him. I don’t think a day’s gone by where I haven’t regretted that night. I’ve been listening to the same sad songs on Spotify on repeat. Routinely checking my phone, checking my messages to see not a single reply. Last online 40 minutes ago. Message seen, ten days ago. 

Two weeks ago to this day, he and I had been drinking. I know we shouldn’t have been meeting during lockdown, but we’d never gone that long without seeing one another. Daniel had been my friend since high school. An unlikely one, he was the complete opposite of me. Athletic, and mouthwateringly delicious when his beads of sweat would glisten and highlight his toned physique. A diamond personality, never failing to raise people up and brighten their day, and as smart as a knife is sharp.

A little about me, I’m not too tall, my body is slim with a little definition around my abs. Your typical “boy-next-door” look. Blonde hair and brown eyes. But back to the story. Two weeks ago, Daniel and I had met at my flat. It was a fairly sunny day, being the start of June, he’d worn a tank top and shorts. He’d brought over two packs of cider and my favourite bottle of pink gin. I took a moment to admire his hair as I looked up at him, he had them in box braids as opposed to his normal everyday afro. 

Giving me a hug, he walked in and set the drinks down on the table. My friendship with Daniel has always been a very intimate one. Not sexual, but we hug a lot and have even cuddled up watching movies at times. He scares easily and ends up holding me so tightly when we watch horror films. I have to admit it feels good being his teddy bear. I was always shocked at how comfortable he was with me. Being gay myself, a lot of straight guys I had been friends with would refrain from any sort of contact with me. But Daniel was different, he always seemed confident in his sexuality and friendships. 

We were playing video games on my Playstation after we opened up a couple of ciders. He sat up on the sofa with me lying on his lap. Gaming always worked up a sweat for him; he’s very competitive. The mix of his deodorant and sweat was starting to turn me on, I was commando at the time and was not going to risk the embarrassment. I suggested we get up and have some shots, and he agreed.

The day became night and we ended up finishing the drinks he had brought over. I have to admit, he is a heavyweight when it comes to drinking, so we ended up drinking through some of the vodkas which I had. I was quite wasted and needed some fresh air, so I went outside for some fresh air. Daniel came with me, which was nice. We stargazed and spoke a little. 

“Have you been working out?” Daniel asked me, much to my surprise. 

“Are you taking the piss, dude?” I laughed back at him in disbelief. 

“Haha, no seriously, your arms look more toned. You look good, man!” 

As cool as the night air was, Daniel’s comment made me feel so hot and flustered. I didn’t need a mirror to know my cheeks had turned red. 

“Well I’ve got nothing on you, you’ve always looked amazing!” I replied.

“Don’t put yourself down, I bet you could give me a run for my money if we wrestled a little,” Daniel said, holding back a smirk. 

We both knew I didn’t stand a chance, but I went along with it anyway. We went back into the flat where we wrestled. I was quite sweaty from the alcohol and excitement, so I took my top off and to my delight, Daniel did the same. Now I say we wrestled, it was more Daniel dominating me if I’m going to be honest, not that it wasn’t enjoyable. I tried my best to win but he was bigger than me and stronger. I got out of breath pretty quickly, and by the looks of it, Daniel wasn’t even breaking a sweat. He lifted himself up and let out a deep breath, his knees on either side of my waist. His abs and chest staring straight at me. His rounded shoulders and biceps looked divine. I sat up, too drunk to realise how turned on I was, and apparently so was Daniel. I saw a bulge, bigger than usual, calling me from his shorts. I had no idea how long I was staring because I only stopped when Daniel finally spoke. 

“Oh shit, sorry about that,” he slurred as he slowly rose to his feet, it was heaven watching the muscles in his legs tense as he stood up and towered over me with his monument still erect in his shorts. 

“It’s fine, bet it looks great,” I finally said back. 

I have no idea what I was thinking. I crossed a line. As drunk as I was I immediately regretted saying those stupid words. I was about to apologise when he chuckled. The next moments happened so quickly yet so slowly. I watched his thumbs slip into his shorts as his hands grabbed them. He flexed and my eyes feasted on the sight of his muscles and veins in his arms. Slowly, ever so slowly he dragged his grey cotton shorts down. A lightly trimmed bush. A fruitful full sack right between his large, chiselled thighs. I felt a surge of electricity course through my body as I watched in awe as his gorgeous manhood sprung up, right when he’d fully pulled his shorts down. 

Daniel was too busy looking at his cock to notice how overwhelmed I was by him. I can’t remember what he was saying at the time, my mind was too overrun with thoughts to hear. With drunken bravado, my body took over.

“Wonder what it tastes like,” I said, eyes fixated on the prize. 

He was unsure, and he sure as hell hadn’t done anything with a guy before. I’m not sure what came over me, but I wanted Daniel to cum over me. I remember telling him how great it would feel, practically begging him for a taste. I guess eventually I convinced him.

He knelt back down over me, knees spread on either side. With one push, he shoved my back to the floor as he positioned himself over my head. His sack waiting to be licked and pleasured. I softly ran my tongue across it, tasting every part. My wandering hands found themselves rubbing his thighs before discovering the firm, large ass that his thighs led up to. His balls were covered in my warm saliva and so I began gently kissing along his juicy member. Each time my moistened lips caressed his shaft I felt his moans rumble through his body. 

Just as I was going to indulge myself in the main course, he got up. Was he not enjoying it? Turning around, blessing me with a view of his toned, round butt, he moved towards the sofa. He sat down, his legs spread apart and with his hungry eyes and cock glaring at me. 

“Suck me off here,” he told me. 

I crawled over quickly, admiring my friend so confidently using me for his pleasure. I held his cock with my hand, pumping it a few times, enjoying the feel. 

“Your hands are so soft,” he said, as I ran my other hand across his chest and stomach. 

Kissing the head of his cock, I noticed and savoured the taste of precum beginning to escape. Parting my lips, I took in his throbbing tip. Suckling on it, as my tongue explored every part of Daniel’s dick. I went further down, running and twirling my tongue across his length. I felt secure when he placed his hand on the back of my head, firmly easing me further and further down on his cock. As I took Daniel deeper into my throat, I felt his moans vibrate through his body into mine. As time went on, he began to slowly thrust into my mouth, his hand pushing down on my head even more sternly. I choked a few times, and he stopped, asked if I was okay before we continued. 

His moans got louder, his thrusting more powerful as he forced me down to the base of his manhood. Pulling me back by the hair, he grabbed his cock and began jerking. 

“Want it on your face or in your mouth?” he asked me. 

“Face,” I replied, as he eagerly pumped his cock. 

I ran my hands along his legs, my eyes half-closed in anticipation of his load. His loud moans filled the room, and his climaxed calls of pleasure even louder as he plastered my face with the warmest, sweetest cum I’ve ever tasted. Whilst he pumped the last couple loads from his fertile balls, he roughly rubbed his cock across my face, smearing his semen across my cheeks and mouth. 

It was amazing. Still intoxicated by alcohol and horniness, I went back down on his balls, licking them gently as he panted. It was a couple of minutes before he got his breath back, in hindsight I should have spoken to him, asked how he felt. Daniel, once he got his breath back pulled up his shorts and told me he had to leave. I never thought anything of it, it was late anyway. I just told him, goodbye and that we should do it again soon. 

That was a mistake, he’s my friend. Not just some hookup. I can’t imagine how confused he must have felt. He’d never done anything with a guy, had always identified as straight, and he had just let his best friend suck him off. It was only the next day I realised that. I wanted to talk to him about it, be there for him. I tried calling him and left a few texts before I realised he may need some space from me. Did I just ruin years and years of friendship? 

It’s been two weeks since I’ve heard from him. I don’t think a day’s gone by where I haven’t regretted that night. I’ve been listening to the same sad songs on Spotify on repeat. Routinely checking my phone, checking my messages to see not a single reply. Last online 40 minutes ago, message seen, ten days ago. You can imagine the mix of emotions I felt when I heard my phone ring, playing the ringtone I set specially for Daniel. 

“Hi, are you okay?” I asked as I answered the phone. 

“We need to talk,” he stated matter-of-factly. 

“Okay, when do yo-” 

He interrupted, “I’m outside.” 

My heart raced. I looked like trash and hadn’t showered in two days. I quickly masked myself in deodorant before throwing on some jeans and changing my hoodie. When Daniel came in, we went straight to the kitchen. 

“How have you been?” I awkwardly asked. 

“Listen. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. That night really got to me you know?” Just as I was going to respond, he continued, “I’ve done a lot of thinking. I’ve always thought I was straight, and that night has been a real eye-opener for me - but the reason I came is to talk about us.” 

My heart sank. I already knew our friendship was over, he was just here to give me closure. I’d already accepted it. I was mentally prepared for him to tell me how we should stop hanging out. And I guess I’m grateful that he decided to do it in person, but that doesn’t change how I’m going to feel about it. 

“I don’t feel as if we can be friends anymore.”

“No, I understand. I’m sorry for what happened” I said back. 

Daniel looked at me, furrowing his brow.

“Seriously? You think I’d stop being friends with you over that? Dude, we’re both adults, I’m not going to throw away my best friend over something I agreed to!” he exclaimed with a slightly bemused tone in his voice. “You’re my best friend. After that night, I’ve had a lot to think about but not many people to talk to. I want to explore - THAT side of myself. Being into guys. And I want you to help me, give me tips, advice, and all of that.” 

I was taken aback for a moment. Not knowing what to say, I agreed. 

“So, just to clarify, we’re still friends?” I asked.

“No. We’re best friends,” said Daniel. “Again, I’m sorry for ignoring you. And I don’t ever want to risk our friendship becoming awkward over something like sex. Let’s agree to keep things how they were, that cool?” 

Relieved, I look up at Daniel, a bit saddened that I’ll never get to go down on him but it’s worth it to keep a friend as great as he is.

“Yeah, agreed.” 

“I’ve gotta go shopping now but fancy coming over to my place and watching a movie later?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah, just text me a time.”

Daniel gave me a wink before closing the front door behind him. I guess he still doesn’t mind cuddling.