Some days went by after the meeting. 

Days when I held in my mind her face, her voice, her words, her tone, her assurance, her nuances of expression, the look on her face as she spoke. 

Days when I was sure that I'd failed, then hopeful I had not.

Days when I wished I'd not said what I had, and had said what I hadn't. 

Days when I cringed at my clueless presumption when I asked for her name.

Days of sitting in front of the screen and the keyboard, pressing Refresh in the hope of her answer, then pacing the room, then pushing Refresh again. 

And nights of waking in the darkness, to light the room with the glow of the phone as I pressed Refresh there too.

When at last the computer chimed, it was late in an evening, when I had just stepped from the shower, fresh from a run where I had tried and failed to clear my mind with exertion and rhythm. 

Her message was there, bold in the Inbox :

"From: M W Subject: Decision"

I didn't leap to open it, as I'd imagined I would at this moment, fumbling, with trembling hand and uncontrolled fingers. I took a deep breath instead, dried myself, dressed, and poured a glass of water. It was most likely a rejection. Best to compose myself first.

I sat down, drew breath, and read.

"David, 

It was a pleasure to meet you those few days ago. I enjoyed our discussion and I found your answers interesting, informative and for the most part compatible with my requirements.

On this basis, I am ready to proceed to the next step."

There was more, but for now it was a blur. When I'd dared to imagine this moment, I'd seen myself leap from the chair, punching the air in unbridled elation. But now, though elation had seized me, it was followed by calm resolution, as if a weight had lifted at last from my shoulders and I had taken a step on the path I had long yearned to follow.

I read on.

"This is a serious matter, David. The relationship that I have in mind is not one to be entered into lightly. Clarity is essential, now and in the future. With this in mind, I have prepared the text of a formal agreement between us. I would like you to consider this agreement very carefully and make sure you have fully grasped it in all its consequences and implications, knowing that I intend to be stringent and scrupulous in its implementation. 

I do not wish an immediate reply from you. I wish you first to acknowledge receipt of this message, and then to reply to me three days from now, having fully considered the agreement, and indicating your willingness or otherwise to accept it. You may ask for clarifications - although I feel none should be necessary - but you must understand that the agreement is not negotiable. You must either accept or reject it in its entirety. 

Should you accept, I will provide further instructions. Should you not wish to continue, I would thank you for your consideration and efforts to date, and wish you well for the future.

I look forward to hearing from you."

It is signed simply "M".

Immediately, I acknowledge receipt, in equally formal language, thanking her for her consideration, her clarity, and the privilege she has presented to me. 

Then I turn to her text. Somehow, it seems more appropriate to print it than read it online. 

It's clear as I read it that she has a background in law and in contracts. What she has written is structured, thorough, clear, precise, unchallengeable and utterly, utterly draconian.

There are three chapters.

The first is entitled simply, "Preamble". It begins by identifying the parties. She is identified as 

"Madam M W, hereinafter referred to as 'the Mistress'."

I in turn am identified as 

"Mr David S, hereinafter referred to as 'the attendant'." 

The next paragraph describes the aim of the agreement. It is: 

"to define a relationship of strict subordination of the attendant to his Mistress."

The paragraph after allows the Mistress to terminate the agreement at any moment, for any reason she considers sufficient. The attendant may be released from his obligations only by consent of his Mistress. 

A confidentiality clause then prevents either party from disclosing the existence or content of the agreement without the consent of the other. 

The second chapter is entitled "Rights and Obligations". She begins with her own. The Mistress has four rights and one obligation. 

Her first right is the Right of Authority. She has the right to issue orders and instructions to her attendant and expect them to be carried out without discussion, without argument and without hesitation. 

Her second right is the Right of Service. Her attendant will not ordinarily reside with her, but he is to present himself for service at her command, regardless of any and all other considerations. He is to have no greater object than the pleasure and satisfaction of his Mistress. 

Her third right is the Right of Control. She has the right to take whatever measures she deems necessary to exercise her rights. Control may be achieved by imposition, with the attendant required to accept, adopt, or wear whatever practice, item or device she deems helpful to her purpose, or by privation, whereby she may restrain the attendant or otherwise deny him whatever elements she considers impede her.

Her fourth right is the Right of Chastisement. She has the right to chastise her attendant as she sees fit, to punish him for his failings, to impress upon him his place, or simply because she takes pleasure in doing so. The nature and severity of chastisement are for her alone to decide. 

Against these rights, she has one obligation, to ensure the well-being of her attendant, consistent with and subject to the unqualified exercise of her rights.

The attendant in his turn has four obligations and one right. 

His first obligation is Obedience, to be tendered without reserve and without qualification, subject at all times to his Mistress' right of chastisement.

His second obligation is Service. It is not sufficient for him simply to obey orders. He must through attention learn to absorb and understand his Mistress' pleasures, anticipate her wishes, and satisfy her needs without constant instruction and intervention on her part.

His third obligation is Respect. He is to conduct himself at all times, in manner and in speech, in accordance with his position of subordination to his Mistress.

His fourth obligation is Chastity. The Mistress considers that rigorous observance of chastity is essential to the attendant fulfilling his obligations. Any unauthorised breach of chastity will be severely punished and may lead to termination of the agreement.

Against these obligations, the attendant has one right, to be clearly informed of any improvements his Mistress considers necessary, so that he may strive to reduce her recourse to chastisement.

Finally, her third chapter is a masterpiece. It is entitled "Implementing Measures". It is blank, save for a short note indicating that its purpose is to record the detailed measures, rules and instructions that the Mistress will lay down for the attendant during the course of the Agreement. Her rights, and the obligations of her attendant, will apply equally to those rules and measures yet to be defined.

I sit back in my chair, and expel a long, slow breath. My mouth is dry. 

Who would sign a blank cheque like this under conditions like these?

The struggle does not last the three days she has set aside for it. Reason, logic and fear itself are soon overwhelmed by the awe that I feel for her, by the helpless yearning to be with her, to make her pleasures mine and share in them as she savours the place she has made for herself.

I sleep soundly, perhaps for the first time in weeks. When the time comes, I send her a short, formal message :

"I have considered the agreement carefully, as you requested. I can imagine no greater privilege than to sign it with you."

To my surprise, her reply comes quickly. 

"David,

Thank you. Your consent is a gift to me. 

I am eager now to conclude our agreement and begin to enact it. Please let me know the earliest time you can join me to sign it.

M" 

In a flurry of messages, it is decided.

The very next day.