The loud thud of the heavy front door knocker brings me sharply back to my senses. My mind snaps back to the real world, the world that I am now accustomed to, the world of a pathetic little cunt, a submissive little cunt, a cunt that craves the twisted humiliation and ridicule that she so expertly drenches upon me. The sick perverted pleasure that she derives from this is, to some I suppose, quite shocking. It is something, however, that she knows full well keeps me fixated upon her, totally fixated!
It has been about seven months now. Seven whole months have passed since my sexual orientation or appearance even remotely appeared normal. Nothing is normal now, I mean, not normal to most. But I now feel so wonderfully normal. My role in life has actually never felt so normal. The constant degradation and sexual humiliation that she forces me to endure is so perfect. It ensures that my sexual state of being remains desperate.
The verbal abuse that she so beautifully lays upon me is always intense and this, coupled with her having so expertly denied me an orgasm for nearly four months, serves wonderfully to keep me in my painful bliss. This is something that she knows only too well, something that we both enjoy so very much.
I feel so complete and the pain is delicious. I totally depend upon it and tell her so. She explains to me that my pain is so important for us both. She tells me, in fine detail, how she enjoys being unfaithful to me. She relishes in my jealous state and my absolute dependence on her sex, dependence as important as one depends on the heart to maintain life. I am, nonetheless, never allowed to be closer than two inches from her perfect cunt. Her cunt is for others to enjoy, that is unless she decides otherwise. This, of course, happens extremely rarely.
I can now admit, quite proudly actually, that I exist purely for her benefit, her sexual benefit. She has no other interest in me. That in itself, I am not ashamed to say, is something that really excites me. She has, over the past seven months, carefully manipulated me in order to render me totally useless. Apart from certain duties, that is.
It is those duties that I now long so desperately to perform, the duties that, in normal circumstances, would be considered quite obscene, grotesque even. To me, they are heavenly! My existence now revolves around one thing and one thing only; her sexual satisfaction, things that hurt me, things that make her cum violently and things that make her cum repeatedly!
The door knocker thuds hard again but this time much more aggressively as I desperately try to quicken my little steps. Moving awkwardly towards the front door, I am careful not to lose my balance as the heels of my new eight-inch black patent ballerina shoes sound their way along the wooden floor. She, only a couple of days ago, instructed me to buy these from a sex shop not far from where I live.
Her text was clear and to the point and she explained very clearly that I was to try the shoes on in the shop for two very important reasons. The first was to ensure that they were a perfect fit. The second reason, she emphasized, was to make the situation, not only extremely humiliating but also very embarrassing for me. She had clearly thought about this very carefully.
I had, indeed, revelled in the acute shame whilst parading up and down between the shelves that were lined with plastic cocks, gimps, whips and many other mind-pleasing sexual products. This had been accentuated by the presence of a particularly stunning female assistant who had also watched my every step.
Having found a pair of shoes that were not only a perfect fit but clearly fashioned for one thing only, I had made my way to the front of the shop to pay for them. The very same female assistant appeared to have been waiting for me and greeted me coldly with a harsh glare. Her eyes had remained fixed firmly upon mine right up to the point where she had handed me my change and I had left.
As soon as I had returned home, the telephone rang. I knew it would be Victoria and I didn’t need her to ask. I assured her that I had done precisely as she had instructed. I told her everything, even about the girl at the till who had most scornfully referred to me as a ‘dirty sissy whore’ just as I was leaving. My cheeks blushed madly as I explained to Victoria that my torment had been extremely severe. The humiliation forced upon me had made my tiny clitty-cock leak mess into my knickers and Victoria’s little moans indicated her pleasure at my discomfort. I knew that I had performed well!
My instructions for dressing are always sent to me four hours in advance by way of a text message. Her choice for my attire never varies a great deal but whatever she orders, four hours allows me just enough time to prepare myself. Absolute perfection, of course, is always required. In addition to wearing the desperately restrictive shoes, a taut metal chain attaches to a metal loop that hangs to the rear of my black leather collar. The other end of the chain attaches to a smaller loop that protrudes to the rear of my seven-inch black leather waist belt.
I tension it purposefully in a harsh manner so as to ensure that my back remains permanently arched. This causes my stance to resemble that of a ridiculously obscene little fuck slut. With every little step, my undersized see-through black knickers cut hard around my tiny clitty-cock. It is these, together with the permanently fitted and extremely small chastity cage, that keeps me totally restrained.
As I study my reflection in the hallway mirror, the pressure on my chastity cage increases. My heart begins to race as I admire my whore-like appearance and smiling just a little, I imagine the effect that this will have on her. My own black bob haircut perfectly frames the heavy slut make-up that I must wear at all times. My make-up also acts to enhance my naturally high set and rather feminine cheekbones. Add to that my delicate silver nose ring, silver ear studs and a newly pierced lower lip, it really is impossible to mistake me for anything but a twenty-something submissive little slut.
