The river runs strong and free, carving out rock and the very earth, forever shaping the land.
The surface broke, and the king of the river rose with a mighty splash to greet the humanoid figure that was approaching the river.
'Welcome, boy,' Achelous said, and as he laughed the stream joined in with him. 'Another one of love's fools. Come to reclaim your sweetheart.'
The river king was a sight to behold. Ten times larger than any man, he had four long scaly arms, each with an enormous, jagged claw. His head resembled that of a crocodile, except his teeth were long and sharp as knives, and his eyes, fixed upon the youth in front of him, burned a bright fiery red.
From one of his arms dangled the girl Deianira, soaking wet, her dark hair stuck to her face, her expression one of distinct annoyance.
'Would you stop going in and out of the water like that, you brute!'
'Silence! You are addressing the god of this river, mortal!' Achelous' voice was a gravelly hiss.
'Yeah? Of this whole river? Well, colour me impressed,' Deianira crossed her arms.
'Silence!'
Achelous glanced at the young man. He was tall for a human, and looked fit enough, although his youth and inexperience were painfully obvious. His face was smooth and gentle, and not a single scar blemished his naked chest, worse: he hadn't even brought a weapon.
Achelous almost felt a tinge of pity. Too many young people nowadays grew up with the stories of the great heroes, and it inevitably led to delusions of grandeur.
'Pff, begone you, and leave this wench. She can't possibly be worth your life, boy.'
He only received a blank stare in return.
'A bit slow, are you. Well, let me make this clear. You are about to challenge Achelous, god of this mightiest of rivers, I have seen civilisations rise and fall at my banks, only existing at my mercy, slaves to my whims, and you, boy, will die by my hand, lest you scarper and leave this worthless female to her fate!'
As though riled by his words the waves became wilder, they buckled, and water itself rose from the river, took the shapes of gigantic beasts, dragons, and serpents, all of whom began to posture and roar, and took up formation behind their lord and master.
The young man looked at Deianira and appeared to be deep in thought.
The lack of reaction threw Achelous off a tad.
'You might consider running away now. I mean I've got time and all, but really, this is quite unorthodox.'
The boys face lit up, and he cleared his throat.
'There!' he shouted suddenly, pointing down river. 'Fiends! They're polluting the water!'
'What!' Achelous and his hordes collectively turned their hideous heads.
The young man moved. There was blur, lasting at most the fraction of a second, shooting across the river to the other side, and there stood the young man, Deianira safely in his arms. Gently he lowered her to the ground.
'Hey!' Achelous turned around. 'Get them!'
The god and the beasts jumped forwards, bearing claws and fangs capable of tearing the strongest metal and slicing apart the highest mountains, waves formed behind them large enough to wipe out small cities, and in their rage they let loose all of it, directing it right at the reunited couple.
Deianira winked at the approaching forces of the river god, and mischievously stuck out her tongue. Her young lover drew back a single fist. Then he punched, and the earth shook.
The force of the strike ripped apart the watery creations, and sent trees, earth, the very river and its inhabitants flying, wept up a violent, raging storm. When it had finally calmed down there was only dust left, slowly settling on a massive crater, at the bottom of which lay Achelous. All of his arms broken, and with his snout bent in a painful-looking way, he whimpered pitifully.
'H-how? W-what are you? W-what in H-hades' name are you?'
'Sorry, did I forget to mention,' Deianira said, peeking out from behind the man.
'This is Heracles, mightiest of all heroes, son of Zeus, king of the gods. You might consider running away now.'
There was a shrill, high-pitched shriek, and the water came rushing back in, filling the crater, and leaving behind the now somewhat differently shaped river, calm and serene.
Deianira looked at the uprooted trees and the shattered rocks.
'You could have held back a little more,' she said.
Heracles shrugged.
'He did say he was god, I just wanted to make sure. Although you could have told him who I was earlier. I think he would have left you alone.'
'That would've been no fun, my little hero,' she said and pinched Heracles' firm bottom. 'Why didn't you tell him?'
'I-I thought he'd recognise me, to be honest,' Heracles frowned.
'Aww, poor you.'
Heracles stroked his chin.
'Maybe I should go back to wearing the lion pelt,' he mused.
'Nope,' said Deianira.
'But people recognise it, it's like a trademark.'
'It stinks of wet cat, also the blood of your enemies, it's gross is what I'm saying.'
Heracles shrugged again.
'Whatever, let's get you back to your father. He's promised me a feast. You know, kings always feast when I'm around. What's up with that?'
The king, in his eternal gratitude, had truly outdone himself, and even Heracles, rather a connoisseur of banquets, ended up more than satisfied. It wasn't until long after midnight that, full of pork and copious amounts of wine, he and Deianira made their way to the princess' quarters.
Servants had dutifully stoked the fire, and when the couple finally arrived the room was warm and bathed in golden light.
'Why did all those women want to dance with me,' Heracles asked.
'Have you looked at a mirror lately?' Deianira asked, and regretted it right away.
'Yes, this morning. Why would-?'
'Forget it. It doesn't matter. You are mine, and don't you forget it, son of Zeus.'
Heracles smiled brightly.
'Of course, I am.'
He sat down on the silky sheets, and the bed creaked under the demigod's weight.
'You're so pretty wearing that,' he said, staring shamelessly at her light blue robes, which accentuated Deiranira's feminine curves, and left decidedly little to even Heracles' limited imagination.
'Yeah? Wait till I'm not wearing it.'
Deianira quickly crossed the room and jumped into Heracles' arms. His body was like a statue, did not budge in the slightest. She placed her small hand on his chest, even without exerting any effort it was hard and unyielding as a castle.