The saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” means that one should conform to the standards of his or her community. So, for example, if everyone in your world dresses modestly, then you’ll be expected to, and want to, do the same. But what if the community’s norm is the opposite of what you’re used to? What if modesty is not required, should one forsake it?
I was part of a group of college students who had to deal with just that question. Our very successful college volley ball team was invited to an international tournament in Denmark. Our team had been made co-ed two years prior – a statement of gender equality, and maybe also influenced by the fact that our liberal arts college in Maine didn’t want to finance two teams. We competed against the few other co-ed teams, but also against even all-male teams. (We girls loved winning, even if it jeopardized some fragile male egos. )
Now, the Danes are a lovely, welcoming people. But they view nudity differently than we do. Nude presence at beaches and in spas is the norm. There are unisex showers at the beaches, where people unashamedly wash off all that sand – from all their body crevices. And women sunbathing topless in public parks is unremarkable. Not that the Danes run the streets naked – just that they don’t panic if some flesh is exposed.
Our introduction to this came after our first practice session against a local team, in a town outside of Copenhagen. At home, after a game, the male members of our team went into their locker room and we went into ours. But this foreign site had two locker rooms – one for the home team, the other for the visitors.
Usually, teams are of one sex, but obviously that was not us. The opposing Danish coach didn’t recognize a problem, and he and his team marched into their locker room, leaving us, sweaty and needing showers, to ours.
We girls huddled on one side of the locker room, the men on the other. We whispered among ourselves about what we should do. Should we ask the men to wait outside while we showered? That was our plan, until we looked over and saw that the men had already made their decision. They were stripping off their clothes. When they got down to jock straps, they lowered them without much fanfare. Brad, one of the hunks, came over to our side with a towel over his shoulder, completely naked. His penis hung down over a mass of pubic hair and testicles.
“Girls, we’re not in Kansas anymore. We’re going to shower. You do what you want.”
And he walked to the showers, followed by a troop of muscular, naked men.
We had a decision to make.
“I could never be naked in front of a group of guys!” exclaimed Amy. “Maybe we shouldn’t shower.”
“Well,” said Meg. “I’m gross. I’m not going to put on my clothes over this sweat. If the guys have the balls to shower in front of us, then I’m okay with it.” And she pulled off her jersey, and unhooked her sports bra. Her ample breasts tumbled out of the bra.
Sarah chimed in. “It’s not every day you get to see a gaggle of naked men. And we don’t have hanging body parts like they do. If they’re ok, so am I. Besides, I always wondered what they looked like naked.” And she also pulled her jersey over her head. She reached down and unhooked her shorts. The shorts and her panties soon were on the floor.
The remaining four of us women watched Meg and Sarah walk to the showers. They found empty showerheads among the men. Without much discussion, the men and women washed their bodies.
“I never thought I could do this,” I said, “but this will be an experience I’ll tell my grandchildren about.” And with that, I stripped off my clothes.