Out early one morning, about three-thirty am, I was taking a naked jog, shorts scrunched up in my hand as fall-back. It was a beautiful morning, neither too hot, nor too cold, and I was feeling quite adventurous. So I dared myself to leave the shorts beside a small bush beautifying the streetscape, and take my chances for a while without a plan "B". The street was deserted, but my senses were still on high alert, and after a couple of hundred yards, I approached an intersection lit brightly by a streetlight. I enjoy the challenge of such exposure, so I headed straight for that corner.
The building at the intersection was a two-story block of flats, built as close as Council would allow to the footpath. I had decided to turn left at the corner, and run around the block to where my shorts were waiting my return. I stopped dead in my tracks as I turned, because I saw, only about ten feet from me, an open lighted window with the silhouette of a woman gazing straight at me. So I was highlighted by the light from her window and the streetlight. Fully spotlighted you might say!
My initial inclination was to turn and race back to the comfort of my shorts. In a split second I decided to stay put for enough time to see what might transpire. After all, the lady was safely locked away in her own apartment, under no immediate threat of sexual assault, and easily able to turn away from the vulnerable naked vision before her. Of course I was very apprehensive, but figured I could still withdraw easily, if things turned ugly. But if we progressed pleasantly, I could have some real fun.
As we looked at each other, she opened the conversation with,"You're not wearing any clothes," as if somehow this fact had alluded me.
"So I am," I cheekily replied, as I looked myself over to ensure she had not made a mistake. "I hope I have not offended you."
"Not entirely," she responded, "but I do prefer guys who are a tad more masculine, if you know what I mean."
"Now it is I who is offended. In what way are you belittling my manhood?" I demanded.
She took some exception to my lack of body hair, lack of six-pack (pronounced stomach muscles) and insufficient body tan. My "junk" was barely adequate, but otherwise I was close to perfect. "On second thoughts, your lack of hair down there gives you a certain childlike innocence that I do find rather cute. Aren't you afraid some sleepless cop might find you a little astray from legal requirements?"
I could now see her face quite clearly. She appeared to be fortyish, rather plain, dressed in some kind of tracksuit with a constant and appealing smile. We continued to exchange banter for a few minutes, during which time I lost the degree of vigilance I normally have when out and about without clothes. At some stage she raised her gaze above my face, and whispered, "We have company."
I turned to see a middle-aged couple, standing at the adjacent intersection, clearly studying the naked wayfarer, and his "lady in the window", and wondering which route they should now take on their early-morning constitutional.
"Come on over," she shouted. "He's really quite harmless."
And so, they crossed the road to join me under the streetlight, and became part of what was now, a four-way conversation. The lady in the window brought them up-to-date with the situation, then invited them to comment on her appraisal of my nakedness. It did not take very long for the newcomers to enter into the banter and by-play. The lady came right up to me, and exaggerated a full and professional inspection, before agreeing that my "package" was a little underwhelming, although quite fascinating in it not being engulfed in a forest of dark undergrowth. She was not put off by my lack of suntan, and found my legs and bottom "very appealing indeed".
"Not everyone can be as well-endowed as me," her partner proudly proclaimed.
The conversation was cheery, cheeky and challenging.
