In my early days I was a very competitive swimmer, as well as being a compulsive exhibitionist (the latter, I still am). Sometimes, watching championships in person, or on TV, I would see a competitor start to lose his swimming trunks during a race, or even at the start, when diving into the pool. When this happened the swimmer had two choices - lose the trunks immediately so that it would not continue to hamper his swimming, or pull out of the race. Everyone I saw opted for the first option.
'What an opportunity,' I thought!
I never swam fast enough for my trunks to cause me this problem. However, another opportunity came my way when a team from my club was competing against a team from the country at their pool. A springboard diving event was scheduled, and our team had no proper contestants as we had no diving facilities at our club. The team manager asked for volunteers, and of course, seeing an opportunity, I took up the challenge.
Each contestant had three dives. I did my best on each of the first two, but was clearly way behind the others on the point score. On the third dive, immediately hitting the water, I pulled on my trunks and allowed my momentum to do the rest. They immediately fell to my ankles, whereupon I subtly kicked them off, now being at my deepest in the water.
It was evident to some spectators that I was now naked, but as I swam to the side of the pool, it became obvious to all. I pulled myself up out of the pool, and stood for a few seconds, peering into the pool, looking for my trunks. It took a few seconds for the water to clear enough for me to spot them, and when I did, I dived back into the water to retrieve them.
Holding them in one hand, I sidestroked to the side, pulled myself back out of the water, and put them back on. All this was in full view of everyone. I was so excited, I had developed something of an erection by this time.
As I walked back to join my team in the stands, I was given rousing applause, particularly when the points for my last dive were announced. The judges, showing true compassion, had awarded me the maximum score for the dive - ten. It was nowhere near enough to get me into a place, but I stood and raised my hands in acknowledgement anyway.
The other episode I want to cover took place much more recently. I was on a golfing holiday on the mid-north coast. We stayed in a guest house fronting a delightful little beach. On one side of the beach, the headland is home to a very popular caravan park. Most mornings would find me swimming in the surf shortly after sunrise, usually to tiny, or non-existent waves. Often patrons from the caravan park would also swim at that hour.