I want to un-fuck you
To un-see you
With my heart's eye
I want to not walk into a room
And search for you
I want to be able to breathe
Even if you don't notice me
With consciousness or pride
When night comes
I want to sleep
With my eyes closed
Dreaming of nothing that involves
Memories of you
And that body defining this body
Those hands
Your touch
I want to not feel you on my skin
Smell you in my covers
I want to spread myself out wide
Across my bed
And not feel your indentation
I want to not cling to one side
Betrayed
By the bareness of the other
I want to just rest
When the wind blows
I want to not hear your voice
Saying my name
I want to not say yours
Not have visions of your face
Behind closed lids
I want to touch myself
And not think of you
I want to have my tears again
Because I am no longer empty
I want to learn
To love myself once more
And not waste it on you
To not surrender
Anymore of my youth or time
'Cause you never loved me right
You were never deserving
I want to
Un-fuck
You
Un-want
You
And just be
Me
In my head
Again