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it's not easy being a girl...sometimes

"For NS: I am the fuel that lights this fire"

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it’s not easy being a girl/sometimes/cause you were born in a world that thinks you are second/when you can hear your own heart beat/when you have danced in the womb/when you have your own rhythm/you cry out at birth/your lungs fill with your own power/they say hush but they cannot quiet the beginning of a storm/you are the whirl wind they desire to control/they won’t let you call yourself by your own spirit’s name/they don’t realize that you are the lightning before the sound/when no one understands that you need to be first

sometimes/it’s not easy being a girl that grows into a woman/but still has a girl inside of her/there are things you keep to yourself/because sometimes it rains on the inside/you are taught too soon to be quiet/you cannot hear your own scream/you grow/obvious to the vain eye/these things cannot be helped/you have curves here and some more there/they entice unwanted eyes/they can’t seem to catch the wanted eye of those you crave/ones you want in the middle of the night/then there is a man with a boy still inside of him/you watch his lips as they move/you feel your own smile but you treasure his/you open your legs for air/your body needs to breathe/your body just needs/when you learn to bend your finger/the power that it gives/so grows nature

it’s not easy being a girl/sometimes tongues wag and accusations fly/when they say you are too fast/too loose/call you bitch to your face/warn you about stomachs that stick out as if you didn’t know/and these are your sisters that make you cry before a man ever touches your damp skin/before a man ever walks away from an open wound/before a man says he does not want you/these are the things that make you close your thighs and sit up straight in that chair/all you want is to lay in the coolness of the grass/feel the dew/understand your own nature/taste your own wetness/all you want is to be loved/sometimes/so you close your windows/so you pull the blinds/you lock your doors/you hide in your own house/you are ashamed of your own body/you fear what it can do/but you touch yourself/you wait/you dream/sometimes dreams come true

sometimes/its not easy being a girl/because you are deaf to rumors/you are deaf to outcries/you are deaf to warnings/you are need/hot and dripping with your own lust/you never forgot your own dance/you claim those curves/you grab your own breasts/you drop low/you move slow/you are the wind and you whip around corners/you cause things to bow /you blow/you lick your own lips with your own appetites/men hunger for you and women keep their mouths shut/sisters recognize sisters/when you bend your finger what you want draws close/when you are the feast and this is your table/you sit at its head/you decide when it is time to eat/a lover is blessed to touch the tips of your fingers/suck on your sweetest parts/drink from your glass/fill himself with nothing but you/you let him know you need no thing and this is a want/he hears it in the way you say his name/he loves you for it/he worships you from the inside/he revels in his own weaknesses because nothing has ever felt so good/you move and move and move/he must rise up to catch you/when you come you cry out/there is no fear of your own sounds/when you close your eyes it is just to sleep/you lay beside a man that is a man/sometimes beside a woman/you decide how you will start the day/you are nature/this is natural

it’s not easy being a girl…sometimes/there are choices you must make alone/there is the woman you must become/there is the life you must live/there is a girl you must kiss goodbye

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Written by avrgblkgrl
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