The shop was vacant for a while -
I had a thought which made me smile

The lathe just sat there all alone,
So time for me some skills to hone

Looking 'round the piles of wood -
Wondering which would be quite good

A solid piece at last I found,
Tapping it - it seemed quite sound

Aligning it on that machine
It spun into a blurry sheen

A shaft it formed there 'neath my hand
With rounded taper - will be quite grand!

The length... now 'bout that, let me see,
I'm making this to fit – me!

Oh, let's go for eight to ten -
That's a good length to fit in

Final diameter... let me ponder
It's got to fit, just down yonder

One- and perhaps - just a half?
The thought of that now makes me laugh!

Some final touches to add spice,
I think that this will be quite nice

Off the lathe, to complete the task,
A sealing finish to make it last

There before me, finally done,
A work of art, second to none!

Now the test!  How will it work?
Lube for sure I will not shirk!

Gently sliding the rounded tip,
Teasing 'round each nether lip

Then at last with pressure mild
Slipping inside - I am beguiled!

Sized just right, so it now seems
Spiraling me into sweet dreams!

In and out, with twist and thrust -
On I go with driven lust!

Faster still, each passing instant,
A rhythm settled quite consistent

Then the swell begins to build,
I know for sure I'll be quite thrilled

A clench, a gasp, another thrust -
Orgasm, grand, about to bust

But suddenly the mood is broken:
One should not use something oaken!

No sex for me until the Winter
All because of that damned splinter!