After a while, Michael got tired of drawing. He started playing video games instead, and I went back to the living room. There, Diana was sitting with a bottle of wine and two empty glasses. 

“How is he?” she asked.

“We have to have another talk with the school,” I replied. 

“I can do it,” she said. 

“I will do it tomorrow when I pick them up. David will probably be there. I spoke to him last time. He needs to hear this,” she added.

She poured us a glass of wine each while talking, and we started watching House of Cards again.

In this episode, Francis Underwood encourages his wife to get a lover. I could almost feel my wife smile right now. I didn't have to look at her to know that. 

“You would like that,” I said with some bitterness in my voice. 

She laughed at my words. One of those laughs that came instantly and felt natural. Not loud but genuine. She struggled not to spray the table in front of us with the wine she had in her mouth at that moment.

“I just don't think there is anything wrong with their relationship,” she said. 

“Because you want that kind of relationship yourself,” I replayed. 

“Let's not start with that one again. I had a stressful day,” she said. 

“Ok, but I just need to tell you something that I didn't get to tell you yesterday. And then I will let it go,” I said

“Ok,” she said.

"I want to be a part of this, and I want us to do this together,” I said. 

“Part of what?” she asked. 

“Part of your sexual journey,” I said. 

“I'm listening,” she said cautiously. 

“I want us to do this as a couple, put up an internet profile and do this together,” I said. 

“I don't know. I want this to be my journey. I want it to be spontaneous. I don't want to plan things. I want men to sweep me off my feet. I understand if you want to have sex with other people, and I'm on board with that, but I think it should be best that we do it separately. As long as we came back to each other,” she said. 

“Won't you be jealous if you see me with another woman?” I said.

“I probably will. But that is not a point. I want you to be happy, and I trust you. I will sacrifice myself for you,” she finally said.

I said nothing at first but decided to change the subject. I needed to think about what I have heard right now.

“What will happen with Erik?” I said.

“I don't know yet,” she said. 

“What is making you uncertain?”I asked. 

“If I talk to him and let him know that this is his last chance, he might change,” she finally said after a short pause. 

I could not believe what I was hearing. 

“Daniel will live us, but he will find another job, and he will be alright. On the other hand, if we fire Eric he will most probably relapse into a full-blown alcoholic, and before long he will be on the streets again,” she concluded. 

"So Daniel goes, and I and everyone else is stuck with Eric because you have to save him? At all our expense?” I asked.

She did not meet my gaze nor give me an answer, so I continued. 

“All of us have to suffer because you need to save one man?” I added. 

“Stop being so melodramatic. I’ll talk to him, and I’ll make sure he behaves. If not, he’ll be fired. As far as the others go, I’ll talk to them as well. I can only hope they see it my way,” she said. 

“But you have spoken to him a number of times previously. He has not changed. Why are you doing it again?” I asked.

“This time it will be different, and I need you to trust me. I don't have any more energy to spare on this subject tonight,” she said in an exasperated voice. "I think we should watch the show instead,” she added. 

She then leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I didn't know what to say. She is going to give him another chance. Will we sit here in two weeks again while she explains that she had to fuck him as last ditch effort to save him? That was the first thing that went through my head for some reason.

She had now placed one of her arms around my stomach. 

“You have lost weight,” she said while looking at me lovingly.

“I suppose I have,” I said.

I noticed that earlier myself, but now apparently so did she. The stress had gotten to me lately. A lot of coffee, not enough sleep and a constant lack of appetite had caused me to lose some weight. My ribs were starting to show. 

"You need to relax babe. I know that things are a bit strange right now, but you need to relax a little bit. Me and the kids need you to be relaxed and healthy. "I, on the other hand, wish that I could lose some weight," she said. 

“You look stunning,” I said instantaneously. 

“You are so nice. That is why I love you," she said and gave me a kiss.

I regret what I said the moment that I said it. It was true alright, but perhaps I shouldn’t be this easy on her? Maybe that is the reason that she wants to date other people?

“But seriously, honey, you have to start eating right again. I can feel your ribs. I, on the other hand, have to lose some weight around my belly and my butt is too big. Pretty soon no one will want to fuck this,” she said with a smile while pointing at her self with both of her index fingers.

“Babe! Everyone is turning their heads around to catch a glimpse of you when we walk down the street,” I said. 

I didn’t seem to be able to help myself. 

“I know, but it so vulgar, I feel, with the curves and all. I don't want people to mistake me for Kim Kardashian. It draws the wrong kind of attention. I want to be more of a Jennifer Lawrence type of woman,” she said. 

“You are more Jay Lo if she had killer boobs, then Kim Kardashian. If she had little bigger ass as well,” I said as a joke finally. 

“Jay Lo!” she said and continued.

“She is fifty years old,” she said with mock indignation. And I don't have an ass that big!” she said while laughing.

“I’m just kidding,” I said.

“It is too late. You are not getting lucky for a while,” she said. 

“I was not counting on it to start with,” I said in a somewhat deflated tone. 

“Come on that is not fair. We had sex yesterday! “she said pleadingly.

“Yes, we did. But when did we have it before that? It must have been weeks,” I said. 

“You know how things are for married couples, this is normal. And I have had a lot on my mind with work and all. Don't be sad. We are doing this together,” she said.

I said nothing at first.

“Is John a little sad that he can’t get more of this juicy Jay Lo ass?” she said with a devilish smile and hand gestures. “You want to spank my juicy as?” She continued to tease.

Then she stood up and started gyrating in front of me, like a girl in a rap video would and sang while doing it.

It made me smile. 

“That is a Fergie song, not Jay Lo,” I pointed out. 

“Sorry, pop professor,” she continued with the same devilish smile. “Little old me. You can touch if you want, no doubt,” She said still with a smile.

I looked with at her with adoration for a short moment before grabbing her ass.

“Help yourself honey, but I’m not in the mood for this tonight,” she said.

I stopped. I wanted to continue but found it embarrassing. I got deflated in more than one way. She saw that and gave me a kiss on the forehead, then said that she needed to go to the bathroom.

She was there for a half hour maybe. During that time I started thinking that this evening would be nothing out of the ordinary if I didn't have that infidelity thing coupled with her desire to modify our relationship, looming in the back of my head. There were plenty of nights that she or I were not in the mood. And that was normal. But now everything she did, I questioned.

Then finally she was out of the bathroom. She took decisive steps toward the living room and said that she was going to bed. 

“You ware in there for a while,” I said. 

"I started thinking about stuff, and I lost track of time," she replied. 

“What did you think of?” I asked.

“Stuff in general. I really don't have any more energy to talk right now. We'll talk tomorrow,” she said. 

I didn’t want to push the subject. When she went to bed, I stayed up a little longer. What was she thinking of? I couldn't go to sleep right now, and there was no way for me to focus on the show either. The smart thing for me would be, to maybe focus on my comic book right now. But even I knew how unrealistic that sounded. Instead, I opened up the computer and typed in wife looking for an open relationship. There was no shortage of links. So I started my journey.

Pretty soon, I was looking at a number of sites with one common denominator, cuckolding. I remembered reflecting over this last time I typed in something similar on my browser.

This time I chose to investigate it in depth. It was a strange thing I thought when I clicked on sites. A lot of pictures. Almost all of them show interracial couples. Women were white, and men are black. It seemed to have some racial connotation. I asked my self if this is just some porn thing?

Then I googled the definition.

According to one definition, cuckolding is when a man is married or in a relationship with an unfaithful wife, especially when he is unaware or unaccepting of the fact. The definition made me feel ashamed little. It said nothing about race.

So I misinterpreted the pictures, I don't have to feel guilty about it. Maybe it has something to do with race according to other definitions. I chose to let that go and focus myself on the sites. Some of which were porn. I started reading some captures on a random porn site. Some were truly funny. Then I thought to myself.

Is that what I have to look forward to? Some arrogant douche that says some degrading shit to my wife, while he bangs her, and me standing in a corner watching? There seemed to be a lot of people that seem to get off to the fact that their woman is fucked by other guys. They sit in the room, watching and jerking off to it. I remember now that I have seen this sort of thing while surfing for porn. But I never understood what it was. It seemed weird.

Now I get it. It is still weird, but it seems bigger than I initially thought. A true subculture. The odd thing about is that men seem to be into it. This is in contrast to the definition I read. But at least I understand why there were random guys in corners of the rooms.

The more I looked at the videos, the hornier I got, and in the end, I could not help my self. I unbuttoned my pants and started jerking. The clip that had me going was one of a woman resembling Diana being fucked by some guy. It didn't take me long to come. I didn't know what to make of it all. What did it mean? Afterward, I cleaned myself up and went to bed. 

Chapter 3

The day at work was yet another slow one, but I managed. My last hour was a very long one. I had to be in the restaurant waiting on people while Diana had a meeting with Eric. We ware going home together today because of her meeting with him. Usually, she finishes about two hours before me. Eric was to be told that this was his last chance. 

Judging from the sounds that came from her office, the meeting was sort of laid back. I went by the office to eavesdrop. Then I just heard the silence. I didn't like the silence, it made me insecure. It soon got replaced by laughter again, but then I didn't like the laughter either.

Soon I realized that I couldn't be seen eavesdropping either, so aborted that endeavor. Finally, my shift was over, and it meant that it was time for us to go home. I changed in record speed and hurried myself to Diana's office.

Before I could knock on the door, the door opened. And through it, a laughing and relaxed Erik came out. Diana was behind him, and she also had a smile on her face. I felt my heart sink a little. He gave me polite hello while passing me by. She looked pleased.

“You are done?” she said?

“Yes, I just finished,” I replied.

“Great timing,” she said.

“Yes,” I answered.

We did not speak very much while walking towards the car. When I got seated behind the wheel and her next to me, I had to ask. 

“How did it go today?” I said.

“I think it will be all right. Eric will stay. Daniel has quit. The staff will like me less tomorrow than today, and I knew all of this yesterday. But given some time it will all be back to normal. Erik knows that this is the last chance,” she said.

I was quiet for a while, focusing on getting out of the big parking house end on to the traffic. But when that task was done, words came out of my mouth.

“I can’t blame Daniel,” I said.

“I do understand Daniel, everyone does. I would quit too, if I were him. But he will find a new job soon. I will give him a glowing reference, and I said that I will pull some strings to get him interviews if needed,” she said. 

“You know that people are gossiping about you two? That something is going on between you, romantically. Or that he has some major catch on you. You do understand that it is extremely hard on me? It's embarrassing,” I said.

She said nothing for a while. I could see the embarrassment on her face.

“I feel a responsibility towards him that is all,” she finally said. “You know that? He is not a stable person. He has children that are dependant on him. I think it is my responsibility as a human being to try and help him and in turn help them,” she concluded.

“At what cost?” I interrupted, raising my voice slightly. ”What about the responsibility towards the rest of the staff, or me? I'm your husband. I suffer. Don't you have a responsibility toward me?” I said.

She told me to slow down. I was about to drive through the red light. I hit the brakes quickly, and the car came to a sudden stop.

“I know that this is hard for you. But I need you to trust me this time. Give it just a little time, for me. I don't plan on having sex with Eric,” she said.

There was a silence in the car before I finally spoke.

"I will try because I love you. But your desires to sleep with other men are making my life a misery," I said and continued. “You understand that right? Every time I see you talk with another man I’m on the brink of losing my mind. And you know how he talks to you. He is constantly flirting with you like it is the most normal thing In the world. Do you understand how hard that is for me when other people see that time and time again? I could handle this before your… indiscretion. Hell, I even thought it was funny. But now it is not funny, it hurts," I said.

“Eric has had some problems in his private life lately,” she started.

“If I fire him now, it will almost guarantee him ending up on the street. What will happen to his children? I can’t live with that,” she said.

“What do you men almost guarantee? You are not a psychological scholar. How do you know what would happen to him? And how do you know that he is telling the truth about the things in his private life?” I snapped

“He showed me some court papers. I had no reason to doubt their authenticity. Also, he had a pleading look on his face that felt very genuine,” she said rather naively I thought.

I tried to focus on my driving and listen to her speak at the same time.

“He needs me to be his character witness in a hearing soon. I said that I will do it. That is substantial leverage I have over him," she said and added. "He has had a hard life you know. With his parents being alcoholics. His father was abusive towards him and the mother. His mother divorced the father just to get into another abusive relationship after that. That time, Eric got to take the brunt of the abuse. Those kinds of things leave their mark on the person. He did not deserve that. And I think it played a significant part in him becoming the man he is today. Despite all of that he manages to get to work every day. He does his job and manages to take care of his kids as well. They are great kids. You have to admit that." 

I was not about to admit to anything here. As a matter of fact, I disliked his kids. The seventeen-year-old one, Liam was his name, was always flirting with Diana. She found it amusing, but I hated it. The way he stared at her body despite knowing that Diana or I saw him do it. Also, the inappropriate touching, often hugging her in a weird way so that his hands would brush against her private parts. All of these moments ware replayed in my head while I herd her shout red again. I snapped out of it and braked quickly again, making our seatbelts work hard this time.

She looked at me with concern. 

“What is it?” she said

“I don't think his kids are that nice. At least not Liam. He is ogling you all the time. And always with the inappropriate touching. I honestly hate the kid,” I said.

“You hate the kid that has grown up without a mother?" She said in a slow voice, intended to shame me for what I said.

After this, I sensed that her tone was a bit different for the rest of the car ride. I didn’t care. Instead, l continued with my argument. 

“There are a number of people at work that have doubts about his story,” I said.

“And you are one of them?” she said

“Yes I'm one of them,” I replied. 

“What makes you doubt his stories?” she asked.

“Well, the fact that he claims to have helped so many people during the years, and all of them living in the city, yet none ever come to say hello. His only friend is Dennis, as far as we know. Who has supposedly known him for the last decade, didn't know any of the names Erik has brought up of his supposed true friend’s through the years. Don't you think that is a little odd?” I asked.

“Denis is a drunkard, how much can we rely on his memory?” she said.

“Denis is a drunkard that remembered your birthday every year for at least last four years,” I replied and continued. “He is also a man that knows a bit about literature and music. Nothing current but bit old stuff. So he remembers things. He remembers odd things like characters of my comic book, but he can't name that many of Eric's friends. These people that out of sheer gratitude towards our dear Eric, according to our dear Erik, always shower him with gifts and such. Like that time he got those movie tickets or the expensive watch that he spoke about for weeks. Despite Eric talking about these supposed friends to us for a couple of days, they seemed to be total unknowns for Dennis. He has apparently never met them. Don't you think that is a bit odd?” I asked again. 

“Sure, he likes to embellish a bit, he has struggled a lot and still has a lot of insecurities. But you don't have to make fun of everything he said,” she said.

“Trying to make you see him for what he is, is not making fun of him. If you think that I, by merely retelling what he has said, or remind you of the circumstance about the stories, I'm making fun of him then maybe you should entertain the possibility that he is a liar, and you are being used by him,” I said.

She rolled her eyes at me.

“No one could be that devious. I’m not a child, and I think that there is some good in him. I don't think he is lying about everything. He has some serious issues. And that makes him insecure. He lashes out at you and the rest of the workforce because of that. Me, on the other hand, he likes. He trusts me because I understand him. And he is not competitive or territorial towards me. He shares personal stories knowing that I won't ridicule him. He laughs and tries to make me laugh. He flirts I know. But he knows it won’t lead to anything,” she says in the end.

“He doesn’t know that,” I counter.

“Also, what does he have to lose if it does not lead to anything? He has sucked up to his hot boss and got to spend a lot of time with her. And by the way, don't you think that he feels there is a chance to get you in bed now when everybody knows that you fucked one of the guests? Don't you remember that he helped me throw what's his name out?! Mark, yes that was his name. He, Eric helped me get rid of Mark. He did! He knew that I didn't like him and, took my side then, and fabricated a lie that Mark had stolen something,” I said.

“That was a lie?” she said astonished.

She didn’t know this.

“Yes, it was a lie,” I said.

She just looked straight ahead quietly.

“Yes, I backed him up because I was angry and insecure,” I continued.

She said nothing.

“Do you think he would do that if he didn't feel that Mark was some kind of competition to him? Don't you see how he always tries to make a mockery of everything I do? When we had that party at the theme park for instance. Don't you think that he celebrated little too much after winning that shooting game duel against me?“I said.

“Honey, him winning over you gave his team a total win,” she said.

“How did he celebrate?” I asked.

“By making me his lady for the rest of the evening. It was a bet, a silly one," she replied.