A story from my pre-married life. My relationship with Andy during my twenties was bumpy and lasted about two years. We were both unfaithful at times and had more than one break-up and make-up. One totally inappropriate lover I had was an ex-colleague called Craig, who I slept with a handful of times. I confessed this affair to Andy shortly after, and it led to one of our break-ups. I didn’t tell him the juicy details at the time. I don’t think men at that age want to hear it, and girls don’t want to share the details either. Maybe that changes as you get older, and this is how I re-imagine the conversation now.
“Do you really want to hear all the details?” I had not expected Andy to react quite like this.
“Yes. If you’re going to be unfaithful to me and ruin our relationship, I have a right to know.” I could tell Andy was hurt as he spoke. Yet I could not help feeling there was something in his voice hinting that he might be turned on by the idea of hearing about my night with Craig.
“Well, we were at the conference when I bumped into Craig. I knew he’d be there, and he was with four or five of his new workmates at the drinks reception after dinner on the first night. Suzie, Paul, and Nick from our office were with me but they soon went their own ways and did the networking thing I should have been doing too.”
“But instead, I stayed and chatted with Craig and a guy from his Berlin office, Dirk. He insisted we come to a burlesque club with him. I wasn’t sure, and it felt a bit inappropriate on a work trip, but he was pretty insistent, and Craig said something like ‘When in Berlin …’ and I guess I thought it would be an experience like the Cabaret movie. Before I knew it we were heading into the place, which turned out to be somewhere between burlesque and a full-on sex club.”
I looked at Andy, expecting some shock or disapproval, but his face was giving nothing away. He sipped his drink and nodded very slightly, which I took as a signal to go on.
“The club had three floors. The ground floor had a DJ and music playing, with people drinking and dancing much like any nightclub. We hung out there for a while, and Dirk knew a couple of people who spoke with us while we had some drinks. One of the German guys in the group wasn’t bad-looking and started flirting with me, quite obviously. I think that stirred Craig’s competitive edge.
“He managed to lead me away from the group and we went upstairs to see. Dirk had said this top floor was the burlesque part of the club. Well, the guests were dressed a bit more kinky than that. Plenty of leather and flesh on display. Some cross-dressing as well. People were kissing, and two burlesque dancers were putting on a dance on a raised stage. I’m not going to lie, it was quite sexy and I was starting to feel horny. At this point, I was feeling very overdressed for the venue too. Craig could not fail to have noticed I was turned on, and he was starting to hold onto me more frequently.”
It was almost imperceptible, but every time I mentioned Craig’s name, I could see Andy flinch slightly. He clearly wanted me to continue, though.
“We took in a bit of the show, and people-watched too, before going back downstairs. There was no sign of Dirk, and Craig suggested we try the bottom floor. Neither of us had any idea, but what we walked into was almost a full-on dungeon. Everyone seemed to be wearing fetish gear, and there were both men and girls tied to cages. Nobody was doing anything to them, I guess there was some kind of no-touch rule, but plenty of people were kissing and groping each other. Basically, we had been introduced to one of the notorious Berlin sex clubs. Craig asked me if I wanted to leave. Part of me was curious and would want to stay, but it felt a bit sleazy, so I said, Yes, let’s leave.”