CHAPTER TWELVE 2001

I had a mission now: to talk to my daughter. The woman had said she wouldn’t stop me from seeing her, but would she not? Or, allowing me to see her, would she make it problematical in any event: maybe insist on being there while I was trying to make my case to my child. Well, I guess we’d soon know. But, first things first. I had to get me a lawyer.

I knew that my ex-brother, and he sure as hell was already ex to me, would use his money to hire some big legal gun to get his way, and hers. But, I had a possible counter move I could make. The son of my boss was a lawyer, a criminal lawyer, but maybe he could help me with my situation in any case.

******

I sat in the outer office waiting for his current meeting with a potential customer to end, so I could be ushered in to see him, Milton Ferguson, CEO of Ferguson Bros. It was Saturday, but a workaholic like Milton Ferguson was virtually always on the job.

Milton and I had been friends for a long time. He’d been to our house, Stacey’s and mine, a number of times for barbecues and other events. He’d even been to the baptism of Jenna so many years before. He was in fact her godfather. I was hoping that his son, Nathan, would help me. I couldn’t afford him, but I had a plan. The plan was but embryonic at the moment, but if I were lucky it might blossom into something more concrete after I talked to him. At any rate, that was the hope.

The office door opened and my boss and his new customer were shaking hands. Good, Milt would be in a good mood. I watched quietly while the customer turned and went out.

“David, come in come in,” he said.

Milton and his brother Gerald, the company CFO, had founded the company thirty years earlier. Milton and I had become friends in spite of our totally different place on the social register. Milt was a people person. Gerald, on the other hand, was taciturn and friends with few; well, he was a money man and a money man only. The good news for me was that I never had to deal with Gerald, well, there’s an upside to everything.

“Thanks, boss,” I said. I entered his office and waited for him to enthrone himself behind his desk before taking the seat in front of it.

“So what’s happening, young man,” he said. I spread my hands in an 'it’s a monster deal' gesture; he picked up on it. Well, Milton was nothing if not good at reading people.

“Dave? What’s wrong?” he said. I decided to get right to the point.

“Stacey is leaving me and, at the least, wants to minimize my position with my daughter,” I said. Yes, I know that was maybe an exaggeration taking into consideration what she’d actually said, but I had gotten a very bad feeling from her tone and look when she laid it all on me.

“Excuse me! You and Stacey! I mean you’re quits?” he said.

“Seems so, yes. She laid it on me this morning. There’s more, but that’s the bottom line,” I said. “Boss, I need a couple of favors if that would be all right.”

“Okay, tell me,” he said.

“I’m going to need some time off until I can get things a bit more straightened out than they are at the moment. And . . .” I said.

“And?” he said.

“And, I wondered if your son, Nathan, might be willing to take my case on a contingency basis,” I said. “I figure to sue the sonovabitch ex-brother of mine, he’s the other man in the picture, for alienation of affection.” My boss nodded gravely.

“I see. Well, as for the time off, sure. How much time do you think you’ll be needing?” he said.

“I figure a couple of weeks if that would be all right,” I said.

“Okay, I can set that up for you. But as for Nathan, he doesn’t do domestic stuff. He’s pretty much committed to criminal law,” he said. “I’m pretty sure he could recommend someone for you though. In fact I’m sure of it,” said Milton Ferguson.

“Okay,” I said.

“You say it would be on contingency? Meaning if you won the alienation case the lawyer, whoever it turned out to be, would get his then?” said Milton.

“Yes, my brother’s a millionaire; I can’t compete with him on any level when it comes to money. He’s sure to be going to use his cash to pay for the best he can find out there, lawyer-wise,” I said.

“Your bother, then is the other man as you say. You mean Ronald?” he said.

“Yes,” I said. He whistled.

“That’s a big-assed wow,” he said.

“Worse, I found out this morning that he was the sperm donor for Jenna,” I said. The look on the older man’s face was nothing if not one of pure shock.

“Oh my God,” he said. He picked up the phone and punched in a number. “I’m calling Nathan right now. I know he’s working today. You’ll have an appointment with him before lunch.”

“Thank you, boss. I really need to get the ball rolling at the earliest possible moment,” I said.

“Absolutely,” he said. The call went through and the older man swiveled in his chair away from me to talk to whoever was on the other end, likely Nathan Ferguson himself.

Call completed, he swiveled back to face me. “I wasn’t able to get you in before lunch, but I was able to get you in ‘for’ lunch. The Holiday Inn on third at noon,” he said.

“Thanks a million, boss. I won’t forget this. I won’t,” I said.

“Not a problem, David, and good luck. I know how bad these sorts of things can be,” he said.

We parted company and I headed out and across town to the Holiday Inn. I still had two hours to kill, but I didn’t have anywhere else to be. My wife was with her lover, and would be with my daughter by day’s end which bothered me; but, I was going to do my best to minimize the impact of that situation immediately if not sooner!

******

I finished my second manhattan and was watching the overhead TV monitor. The Red Sox were ahead of the Yankees three to two, bottom of the sixth.

The man slid onto the stool next to mine. “You’re David Carter if I’m not mistaken,” said the man.

“Yes, sir, I am. You must be Nathan, Nathan Ferguson,” I said.

“I am that,” he said. “My dad gave me but few particulars. A divorce action, right?”

“Yes, but mainly a custody battle and an alienation of affection lawsuit. I think she intends to cut me out of my rights as a father. She thinks she can do it because I, as I found out this morning, was not the sperm donor; her lover was, fourteen years ago,” I said. My bar mate nodded gravely.

“Let’s move this little confab over there,” he said. “It’ll be more comfortable and a deal more private.” We headed for the booth he indicated.

Seated, I laid it out for him.

“So, the other guy, your brother, was the sperm donor, but he never paid any child support. He’s just been Uncle Ron all of these years?” he said.

“Yes,” I said.

“And, you had no clue about any of this these past many years?”

“No, nothing,” I said. He nodded.

“Okay, I have someone I want you to talk to, and yes, I know this is on contingency. She’s my associate, and she is very good at what she does which is all family law. What can be done she will do. I have to tell you, that while what the two of them have done to you is shit, the only thing the judge will likely look at, as far as custody is concerned, is the welfare of the child. You’ll get visitation, but how much or under what conditions, well, that’s going to be up in the air until whatever judge you get finally rules. As for the alienation of affection suit, that’s usually a toughie, but in this case, well, I think you actually have a solid case. Anyway, Her name in Winifred Clark, and she is good,” said Nathan. “Call her. Tell her I sent you.”

******

I made the appointment with my new lawyer by phone for Monday; well, I was anxious to get it done. I definitely wanted a short court date as far as the matter of custody was concerned. I wasn’t going to give them a chance to undermine me with Jenna.

But, lawyer or no lawyer, for the moment I was dependent on the two cheaters; and, I hated it. I gritted my teeth and made the call.

“Yeah, I want to see my daughter if she’s there. Okay?” I said, that in answer to his hello. I figured the woman would have already picked her up from her sleepover.

“Uh, David, okay,” said my ex-brother. “When you coming over?”

“I’ll pick her up in half an hour,” I said.

“Uh, just a minute, okay.” He evidently put down the phone because he didn’t react to my “I don’t have a minute.”

“David?” said my wife, now the party on the other end of the line.

“Yes, I’ll be over to pick up Jenna in half an hour unless you two are planning on blocking contact with her by me,” I said.

“David, we had something going, but okay this time. Half an hour?” she said. “Can you give me an idea when you might be bringing her back?”

She’d stopped me momentarily with that one. It occurred to me that she was already assuming that she would have physical custody of our baby. I decided to call her on it.

“In a couple of hours, unless she opts to stay with me instead of you, that is until the court makes a decision in the matter of custody one way or the other,” I said.

“David, you need to get over your anger. I promise, that if you help us out here, we, Ron and I, will do our best to make things good by you. Please! Okay?” I said. I was steaming.

“Half an hour,” I said, and I hung up and that not too gently.

******

She was dressed very nicely as she came down the walkway from my ex-brother’s semi-mansion. Well, he was a millionaire. I’d not seen the clothes she was wearing before. Momma had undoubtedly already taken her shopping. She was only thirteen or I’m sure her new would-be daddy would have had her driving a new Vette for damn sure. Bribery would be his modus operandi; I was sure of it.

“Hi baby,” I said, as she got in the car.

“Hi dad,” she said. I smiled at that, her calling me dad. I wondered what she was calling him. Well, I guessed I would know the answer to that soon enough.

We headed for the IHOP near our house, the house that used to be home to the three of us and now was home only to me unless Jenna opted to be with me.

Seated and having ordered, we stared at our place mats.

“How’s it going, honey girl,” I said.

“Okay,” she said.

“Jenna, I’m your daddy; you can talk to me tell me anything. Okay?” I said.

“Okay,” she said.

“So, can I ask you something?” I said.

“Uh-huh,” she said.

“You’re mom wants you to stay at your uncle’s house? Would you like to come home tonight and be with me?” I said. I was holding my breath.

She was looking down. I had a bad feeling.

“Jenna?” I said.

“I only got there today, Daddy. I was at Marlene’s house until last night. Momma picked me up from there today, and we went shopping. We were gonna go to the zoo this afternoon, but momma said you wanted to talk to me,” she said.

“Yes, yes I did. Well, you can imagine,” I said. “But tell me would you like to stay at our house, you know, until the courts say or do something?”

“Momma says I will be staying at their house, hers and daddy Ron’s,” said Jenna.

“Daddy Ron’s?” I said. I guess I had my answer as to what she was calling him.

“Yes, daddy. Momma says he’s my real daddy. I know about that stuff, dad, sperm and a woman’s eggs and everything. I’m thirteen,” she said.

“So you’re calling me daddy and him daddy too?” I said. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about that. My soon to be ex had seemed to indicate that I was going to be cut out of the daddy category, but maybe so far, at least, not.

“Yes, but . . .” she said.

“But?” I said.

“Momma says I’m supposed to call you uncle, but I can’t daddy. I mean, I know that daddy Ron is my real daddy, but so are you aren’t you?” she said. She was being so earnest that in any other situation it would have been comical.

“Well, your momma is wrong. Your Uncle Ron, was the sperm donor, but we, you and I, have been daddy and daughter forever, and that’s not going to change. Okay?” I said.

“Okay, daddy,” she said.

“But again, where would you rather stay, until the court tells us what to do, our house or his?” I said.

“I guess with momma, daddy. Is that all right?” she said. I was a little hurt, but at least, she wasn’t letting her mother’s dictates rob us of our father-daughter relationship, so far. I wonder if my wife really was duplicitous enough to try and force her to defrock me of my fatherhood.

We ate and talked, and I made a concerted effort to try and make her feel good being with me. I took her back to the cheaters. I got a kiss from her as she exited my car. I watched as she headed up the walkway away from me. Oh, how I hated the two of them!

CHAPTER THIRTEEN 2001

The meeting with Winifred Clark was anything but boring.

“Nice to meet you she said. Nathan told me you’ve got a really, what, complicated situation,” said Miss Clark.

“Oh yeah, I said. Really complicated and I didn’t know where to turn. Anyway, I explained my problem to my boss, Nathan’s dad, last Saturday, and he, well, here I am,” I said.

“Yes, here you are. Why don’t we begin by you giving me an overview of your situation if that’s all right,” she said. “Then, I’ll ask you some questions and we can then look at what your options might be. Then, that done, we’ll put together a plan of action. Sound okay to you?”

“Sure bet,” I said. Over the next half hour, I laid out a timeline of all of the events and happenings right up to and including my meeting with my daughter. My new lawyer raised an eyebrow at my description of that scene, but said nothing initially. But then she did.

“To describe your situation as, well, a situation, is pretty much an understatement,” she said. “Heck, I’ve seen soap operas with less pathos.”

“Yeah, really,” I said.

“There’s good news and bad news, David. The good news is that the judge will guarantee your status as ‘a’ father of Jenna, but likely not her only father; there is really no doubt about that. You’ve been that to her forever, and that is going to be recognized by the court. The bad news is, your wife will likely get physical custody of Jenna year ‘round. You’ll likely get visitation, and I will fight to expand that, but overall they, the two of them will be in a position to influence your daughter, at least to some extent. You say her lover, your half-brother, has money?” she said.

“Yes, he’s a millionaire, car dealerships, four of them,” I said. She nodded gravely.

“From what you’ve told me about their attitude, they will likely use their money and other resources to influence how Jenna sees things and how she acts toward you. But, similarly, from all you’ve told me, I think it unlikely that they would try to actually vilify you. And . . .

“I don’t see Jenna willingly writing you out of your position as her father, maybe even her main father; but, there may be things she accedes to over time that will rankle in your gut: shining you on at certain ceremonial events, the other guy walking her down the aisle if and when she marries, forgetting important dates: your birthday, Father’s day and the like. In her mind, she won’t be consciously shunting you aside, but the effect will be the same. If you take my advice, you will remain calm and aloof from such slights as they may occur, and I am fully aware of how hard that may be for you,” she said.

I sagged back in my seat. “You said you might be able to expand my visitation rights from what is usually the case?” I said.

“Maybe, that will be a main thrust of my efforts for sure. Can I ask, is there any way you might be able to get the two of them to lighten up and not get in the way of a joint and equal custody request by us?” she said.

“Not according to my wife. She seemed adamant that I would be relegated to second class citizenship when it comes to my baby,” I said. “I can ask again, try again, but I doubt if they’ll budge.”

“Okay, well make the effort anyway. We need to be able to tell the judge we tried. Okay?” she said.

“Okay,” I said.

We talked some more and settled a few things, including my alienation of affection suit. But, the most immediate thing for me, at least in one respect, was to go for a short court date. I did not want this thing, the divorce, and the custody battle tied up with it, to be dragged out any more than was absolutely necessary. And, then the meeting was over, and I was left to cry in my beer.

As much as I hated my wife, at least, I was telling myself that I hated her; I still needed her. I still loved her too; there was no escaping that reality. Love, hate, confusion, desperation all of it was my lot. All of that added onto what the two of them were going to try to do, as I saw it, to come between my daughter and me. I did not deserve this, any of it!

******

I got the word less than a week later: we got our short date. It seems that my ex-wife was going to cooperate at least to that extent. And while it is what I wanted, her giving in to me on this particular point, and that so easily, worried me; it worried me a lot!

Just thirty-days from the date of her filing for the divorce, we were in court for a hearing. We stared at each other from across the room. Well, I stared, she just smiled at me and seemed to be sending me the message that she was my friend. Well, we’d see about that.

“The court will come to order, the honorable Preston Daniels presiding. You may all be seated.

I watched as the two of them made their statements; I guess that’s what they were. The judge acknowledged them. Then, I was called. Winnifred had to encourage me to go up and tell my side of things. Odd, the lawyers didn’t do much or say much themselves, not in court at any rate. I made my statement; then, it was time for the judge to do all of the talking.

He addressed himself mainly to the last two things, the last bones of contention between us, between me and Stacey and my ex-brother.

As regards the divorce petition filed by Mrs. Carter, wife of David Carter. I hereby grant it since it is not contested by Mr. David Carter. The property settlement shall be as presented to me and is, again, not contested by Mr. David Carter. But now, as regards the two remaining issues.

My primary concern is for the welfare of Jenna Carter age thirteen. I have talked to Jenna and she has held forth that she loves her father of thirteen years, David Carter very much. But, she has indicated that she would prefer to reside with her mother for purposes of physical custody and permanent residency . . .”

I sank back in my seat. Winnie, Winnifred, had warned me that the mother usually got physical custody, but hearing that Jenna had okayed it hurt. It hurt a lot, an awful lot. I felt myself about to vomit, then, I did. The hullabaloo that ensued held up things for a quarter of an hour while I cleaned up and straightened myself out in an adjacent restroom. I don’t know who mopped up the mess I’d made on the floor and seat.

“Are you okay now, Mr. Carter?” said the judge. I nodded. I didn’t trust my voice, his honor didn’t push it. My now ex-wife had a very concerned look on her face, my ex-brother too if it came to that.

“Mister Carter, you have been Jenna’s daddy for all of this time. I would like to say that visitation by you shall be unlimited and without restriction, but practicalities require that I structure things to be as fair as might be. This, bearing in mind the psychological and physical welfare of Jenna Carter.

“Mister Carter, you shall be entitled to have Jenna with you one weekend a month, which weekend shall be as agreed to by you and your now ex-wife, Stacey Carter. Additionally, you and your ex-wife will alternate holiday custody, also as shall be agreed to between the two of you. Finally, Mr. Carter, You will be entitled to have Jenna reside with you for two weeks during her school’s summer vacation, which schedule shall also be agreed to by you and your ex-wife.

“Now, as to the matter of Mr. Ronald Carter, the biological father’s rights. I have been appraised of the fact that he shall be marrying Stacey Carter; hence, his place in the scheme of things is not at issue. Should this proposed marriage not take place or should any of the main factors in this divorce change substantially, this court stands ready to revisit its decisions.

“And lastly, the matter of alienation of affection on the part of Ronald Carter. It is clear to me, as would be the case per any reasonable person, that mister Ronald Carter did indeed alienate the affections of Stacey Carter from her husband David Carter. An award of $250,000 is hereby granted to Mr. David Carter in this regard.” I noticed that even my rich ex-brother winced at the judge’s ruling.

“Court adjourned.”

I sat stock still. I didn’t care a tinker’s damn about the award, only about the custody issue. Winnifred, sat with me saying things, but I really didn’t hear her, or, hearing, understand what she was about.

I had expected it, her, Jenna, staying with them. Deep down I had expected it, but it was a shock nonetheless. I couldn’t process her choosing him over me, not over the long haul. No, I couldn’t.

“You going to be all right, David?” she said, finally. I looked up at her and nodded. Truth told I didn’t even know what I was nodding about. She patted my arm and then I was alone. The courtroom was empty except for me.

Finally, I rose to leave. It was after 5:00PM. Outside, the corridor was empty; well I thought it was, at first. Them I felt someone tug at my sleeve.

“David, I’m sorry,” said Stacey. I looked around at her. I glanced left and right looking for him; he wasn’t there. I just stared at her.

“She chose him,” I said. I started walking away, but slowly.

“David, he’s her father, but she chose me, her mother, not him. David, we have to talk. The judge said we have to make decisions together, about visitation. David, I know what the judge said, but you won’t be limited to just what he said. We can work things out so that they are way more generous to you. Okay?” she said.

“She chose him,” I said, repeating myself. “Please just leave me alone. I need to be alone.”

“David this isn’t all bad. You got a quarter million in there. I’m giving you the house and the savings. For godssake, what else can I do!” she said.

“I don’t care about your damn money. The lawyers might, but I don’t. Get that lady, get that! Now get away from me and leave me alone. She chose him!”

“Oh, my. Okay, David, but we, you and I, need to talk. Okay?” she said.

“She chose him.”

******

Outside of the courthouse I squinted in the sunlight that reflected harshly off the white stone of the buildings. I didn’t quite stumble down the steps but almost; I was still sick to my stomach.

A blue Sentra pulled up to the curb where I was about to cross the street to hire a cab that I’d noticed stationed there. Winnie had driven me down, but I had opted to not have her drive me back.

I needed to be alone.

“Get in nephew,” said my Aunt Delia. Delia Carter, matriarch of the clan since my mom had died. Sixty years-old, gray-haired, short, feisty, and always in the know; well, almost always in the know.

I wanted to be alone, but, Aunt Delia? She, I knew, would not be giving me any euphemistical pap, and, I was more than persuaded that she would be on my side. I got in the car.

“How are you doing, David?” she said.

“I just lost in there, Aunt Delia. I’m not doing real good,” I said. She looked at me and smiled.

“Your day will come, David. The two of them have made a tremendous blunder. They just don’t know it yet,” she said.

“It’s not them, and their doings that are the problem,” I said. “Well, it is, but not the one that’s killing me. Jenna chose that man over me. She told the judge she wanted to stay with them.”

“More like she said she wanted to stay with her mother. I know you talked to Jenna about all of this. You had no clue from her?” she said.

“No, but that was weeks ago, and since then, when I’ve been allowed to see her, nothing. Just daddy daughter stuff. You know, McDonald’s, the movies, the park that kind of thing,” I said.

“When do you see her next,” she said.

“Not sure. I’m supposed to work that out with the woman,” I said.

“You mean Stacey,” said Aunt Delia, in a slightly reproving tone.

“Yes, Stacey,” I said. “She’s the woman.”

“Davey, I know you still love her. She’s made a big mistake. He’s not the man you are. Oh, he’s a business tycoon and all of that, but that is just so much fluff and feathers. You’re actually a good man. A man who would never betray his love or his responsibilities. Those trump money every time,” she said. “It will take some time, but Stacey will come to realize her error and that’s a fact.”

“Yeah maybe,” I said, my tone conveying no confidence in my words. She smiled at me.

“Davey, do not become morose or depressed over this. You must show your strength. Show them that you are the strong one and the one who is in the right. They’ll have to respect that, and they will have a deal of thinking to do about their actions,” she said. “Be strong nephew, be strong.”

We talked for some time, as she drove us slowly to the house where I still resided. I felt a bit better than I had after the scene at the courthouse, but only a bit.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN 2001

In spite of Aunt Delia’s words, I was still down mentally. I just couldn’t come to grips with the fact that my daughter wanted to stay with them, especially him. I knew he’d be buying her off, literally. New clothes, new female stuff, new everything. I couldn’t compete with him in those kinds of things. All I had was love for my baby, and, for my wife, my former wife. I hated her and loved her at the same time. I would die for her and she knew it; she had to know it. Could he, my ex-brother, say as much?

Why had she done me this way? He was taller and better looking, okay, those were givens. But he’d long been a womanizer! She knew that too. And, I knew that he’d be cheating on her sooner or later for sure. And yet, she’d dumped me for him. The judge said that she and I would have to talk at some point. I guessed that that would be so. When we did, I would be asking a few more questions of her, well, maybe. I had to hope that she’d be straight with me, and at least give me some measure of closure for all of the stuff she’d done to me. Well, we’d be seeing.

******

I was pretty much a psychological basket case since the divorce. And seven months after being conditionally declared single, I got the official papers saying the divorce was final. I got drunk, well, why the hell not. A reason to celebrate right! Also, a reason to cry my baby-ass eyes out and I did both: drink and sob. The big news was, as would eventually become clear, that things were going to get infinitely worse and that long before they’d be getting better. Well, it was ever thus I fucking supposed.

The Silver Spur wasn’t busy when I came in, for the fortieth night in a row. Anymore a good percentage of my paycheck was dedicated to the economic growth of the place. I hadn’t gotten my name engraved on my favorite bar stool yet, but I figured it had to be only a matter of time before I would be so honored.

“Evening, good buddy,” said Hammond Greeley, head barkeep at the Spur.

“You too, Ham,” I said. “Got something around five hundred proof for me?” I said.

“Maybe eighty or a hundred, ran out of the heavy stuff,” he said, smirking.

“More’s the pity. Well, gimme what yuh got,” I said.

“You got it, man,” he said.

I watched the other early arrivals beginning to get into the scene as I sipped my Smirnoff blue label and nibbled on the pretzels my favorite drink master kept in front of me.

My favorite partner in misery came in about mid-second drink. I waved her over. “You look good Marianne,” I said. “I mean for someone who absolutely knows how miserable I am.”

We’d talked a lot over the months since my divorce from Stacey. She acted as kind of an emotional anchor for me as I had once acted as one for her.

“So what’s up?” she said, plopping down on the stool next to mine. “Anything new?”

“No nothing special. I’ve decided to get me another place. I gotta get outta that house. I’ve only stayed in it this long for the kid’s sake. But, lately she doesn’t seem to want to be there that much either, don’t know why,” I said.

“Hmm, probably too many memories?” said Marianne.

“Maybe. Anyway, I guess I’m gonna sell it and use my half of the money to get into a condo some place. The other half I’ll be sending to the cheaters,” I said.

“I thought you said she gave you the house outright. Kinda of a consolation prize for her shitting on you,” she said.

“Yeah, but I ain’t takin’ nothin’ from her and sure as hell not from him. What they did to me is never going to be forgiven or forgotten, not ever,” I said. “No assuaging their betrayals or guilt with gifts, if they even feel any guilt, not even!”

“I can dig it, Dave, but on another level, you really need to let her go and get on with making a new life for yourself, same as I did,” she said. “Did you decide what to do with the cash award you got?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. As for the award, after taxes I split it all with my two lawyers, Nathan and Winifred; they each got a hundred grand. I didn’t want any of that either.”

“Shit, that was a heckuva a lot of money to be dumping.” She said.

“Yeah, I guess, if you care about money. I don’t want anything from either of them, and I mean anything,” I said.

“I’m a woman, David, we know about this stuff a bit better than you men. Like I said, you need to dump the baggage and get on with your life. Things will even out in the long run, depend on it,” she said, and then she giggled. I had to wonder what she thought was worth giggling about. I didn’t ask.

“Yeah, well, I’m convinced of the truth of that,” I said, but I said it sarcastically. Now, she laughed outright.

I liked talking to Marianne. She was one woman that I trusted. Her and Aunt Delia were about it though.

******

My talk with Marianne actually decided me. I listed the house on the following Monday. I listed it to sell fast; I wanted out of there. My next days would be spent packing and getting ready for the move. I was actually getting anxious, looking forward to it.

My weekend with Jenna was coming up in three days. My ex and I had met a couple of weeks after the initial court date for a total of twenty minutes and made up my official visitation schedule. And, no I didn’t get any of the questions I’d intended to ask answered; that because I didn’t ask them; I was too chicken, go figure.

At any rate she’d, had Stacey, made an attempt to use the occasion of us meeting to get me to talk about, things, other things that were on her agenda; but I’d shut her down. I didn’t need the aggravation of her trying to get me to ‘lighten up’ as she’d termed it. Or, of being around her, seeing her, smelling her, I just wanted her the hell away from me at the earliest possible moment. She appeared frustrated by what I’m sure she saw as my stubborn intransigence; that was just too damn bad.

At any rate, I was ready for my time with my daughter. This little time would be packed with stuff to do. My new digs were smaller than the house we’d all been living in the past fourteen years and that caused a small inconvenience. Jenna had not taken everything with her to her new home. There were things she would likely want to pack, things she might want to throw out, and other things she might want to give away. At any rate, Friday night I would be taking her to dinner and Saturday we’d do the packing and such. Sunday we’d kick back, maybe even go to the Verde river and picnic; I liked going to the river; it was calming and pretty and rugged and, well, fun. For sure there’d been precious little fun in my life for most of the last ten months.

******

They delivered her right on time. One thing about the two of them; they were never late in delivering Jenna.

“But, where have you moved to?” said Jenna, after I’d given her the news.

“Not far, baby. Got me a condo. It’ll be easier for me. Since your mom and you have left, I don’t need so much space,” I said. She looked askance at my words.

“Daddy, I miss you, but it’s hard being there and being here. Kids at school know you and mom are divorced. It’s hard having to keep talking about it all of the time. That’s why I hardly ever have my friends come over to the house anymore. Mom is pushing me to do that but I don’t want to not yet,” she said.

“Hmm, I understand,” I said.

“What about your Uncle Ron?” I said. And, yes, my words were kind of an indirect test as one might have said.

“Daddy, he’s daddy Ron now. He’s my real daddy,” she said. “But you’re my daddy too,” she said in kind of a hurry.

“Oh, yeah, okay,” I said. I wanted to scream that the shithead hadn’t been there for her all of these years, so to my mind, he didn’t qualify as any kind of a daddy. A wannabe maybe, but not a real daddy.

We did picnic at the river on Sunday, and it had been a good idea. She was talkative. Seems like her mom and the asshole were being kind of strict with her. They didn’t like some of her friends. I wondered about that. I wondered if that had something to do with the two of them wanting her friends to come visit at their house. Maybe wanting to check the friends out, kinda up close and personal.

I delivered her to their house at 6:00PM. Like every other time I’d delivered her it was a sad moment. Invariably Stacey would come down and try to engage me in light banter, her way of breaking the ice, I supposed. I never spoke more than a few inane words to her and rarely even got out of the car. She for her part accepted my reticence to talk, but always seemed more or less disappointed if not actually exasperated. She knew I was still hurt and that it would be a long time before I got over how she’d done me.

The good news was the house had sold quickly. Thirty-one days after listing it, it was in escrow. Forty days after that title passed to the new owners and a check for sixty-one thousand dollars had passed to me. I sent $30,500 to her. That got me an unexpected visit.

******

It was a Wednesday evening. I was just heating up a Lean Cuisine dinner, Portobello Steak, when the doorbell buzzed. I answered it.

“Stacey! What are you doing here? Is Jenna all right?” I said.

“Yes, yes, she’s fine. I have a big ass problem you need to help me with,” she said.

“A problem?” I said.

She handed me an envelope. One already stamped, sent, and received, by her. “What’s the meaning of this!” she said. Seeing the envelope, I finally knew what she was about.

“You’re entitled,” I said. “It was half yours. So, half of the equity is yours. I don’t want anything from you or him that isn’t mine.”

“You were given the house in the original divorce settlement. You signed it,” she said. “It’s yours, all of it, the equity. And okay yes, I decided to give it to you because you deserved a little payback for all of those years that you were an unknowing cuckold. And also yes, I felt and feel guilty about what I did to you, and so, giving you the house was partly for my peace of mind. Okay? David, just take the money; you deserve it. Okay?”

“Never,” I said. “I don’t need it and I don’t want it. What you two did to me can never be forgiven or sure as hell forgotten. You wanna buy a little peace of mind? See a priest. I don’t have any, peace of mind that is. So, I’m not into helping you find any.”

“Davey, you’ve got to get by this. We all do. Holding on to all of this bitterness is not good, not good at all,” she said.

“Hmm, maybe not, but it is also beyond my power to do anything about,” I said, “especially with you trying to cut me out of my role as daddy to my baby!”

“Davey, Davey . . .”

“Stacey, it’s been a year since you dumped me. I have not had a date with a woman, not even spoken to one apart from a few folks at the Spur. I think about you every night, every night, Stacey. I need you, and I know I can’t have you ever again. You have no idea how that sits with me. And then, you trying to sabotage my relationship with my daughter . . .

“Anyway, go back to your new man and let him comfort you. I’m not in the mood to take money from you and call it comforting. Don’t come back, Stacey; it’s too hard on me. Okay?” I said. She shook her head but slowly.

“David Carter, I just . . .” she started, and then she left, hurriedly.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN 2002

It was held in a big church, their marriage ceremony. I didn’t get an invitation, but I was there anyway. I was incognito, but I was there. I shouldn’t have been; it made me sick. Watching them be all happy and loving, but most of all it was Jenna, who hurt me, though of course she didn’t know it. Watching her making all silly around him and her, hugging them, saying sweet things to them, smiling at them, joining in the general hoopla; yeah it was hurtful. I snuck away like the wimpy little nothing I thought myself with my tail between my legs. I hadn’t been seen.

Notable by her absence at the ceremony was Aunt Delia. I thought that significant. I wondered if she’d gotten an invitation. I could not imagine that she hadn’t but who knew.

******

She was stripping but slowly for him as he lay, still fully clothed on the bed. Down to her bra and panties, she moved toward the bed and stood beside it. She smiled saucily at him.

“Well,” she said, “you just gonna lay there staring. It’s our wedding night.”

“Hell no!” he said. He didn’t quite leap from the bed and grab her. The kisses were savage and long and promising. She rubbed her loins again his thigh, and he pulled her in tighter to intensify the feeling.

“God, you’re a hot piece,” he said.

“Well, if I’m so hot, maybe you’d want to be getting undressed so you can fuck me. Whaddya think?” She said.

He didn’t even bother to answer her as he began a rather hurried disrobing of his tuxedo.

They lay panting and sweating after two rounds of intense screwing.

“Good for you?” he said. “Worthy of our wedding night?”

She looked over at him. She knew what he meant and it was way more than the words themselves denotatively conveyed. Oh yeah, way more.

“Yes,” she said. “It was way better than my first one. Way better. David was, and is, good at some things but sex is not among ‘em.” He laughed.

“Jenna seemed happy today,” he said. “That made me happy. I think we’re making progress there.”

“Yes, I think you’re right. We need to reinforce those feelings as much as possible,” she said.

“That we will,” he said. “Think your ex will come around?”

“I don’t know. You did notice that he was there today didn’t you?” she said. He looked up.

“No!”

“Well, he was. He did his best not to be recognized, but I saw him and recognized him almost right away. I kind of expected him to come, so I was looking for him. I don’t know why he came, had to be hard for him, but he did,” she said.

“Jesus! Hard? It had to be brutal for him!” he said.

“Hmm, I would guess so,” she said, “especially him seeing Jenna all into it and everything.”

“Oh yes!” he said. “Had to be a killer given his attitude toward us and after learning that I was her real father and all.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Well, it’s his decision to be a pill. At some point he has to grow up and get a life. He could do it. He’d just rather torture himself and play the martyr or whatever. I’ve about lost patience with him.”

“Yes, and frankly, me too,” he said.

“You know, I think Jenna’s pretty much fed up with his whining as well. I don’t talk about it with her, but she is less and less wanting to go over there anymore. If he doesn’t straighten up; he’s gonna lose her. I can see it coming,” she said.

“Maybe,” he said, “maybe.”

******

“He was there?” said Jenna.

“Yes,” said Stacey. Her daughter’s look said it all for both of them.

“I wish dad would stop being sad all the time,” said a slightly irritated Jenna.

“Dear, your Uncle David, was hurt pretty badly by everything that’s happened. We need you to be extra nice to him, make him feel like he’s still a part of the family, a big part,” said Stacey.

“Momma, please stop calling dad, uncle. Okay?” said Jenna. “He’s my daddy too. Just like daddy Ron.”

“Honey, I know what you’re saying. But, well, daddy Ron, deserves to have that honor now, don’t you think?” said Stacey. She could see her daughter was trying to come to grips with all of the complications the adults were putting out there, and, she was not succeeding to any great extent.

“Mom, why can’t I have two daddies? Lots of kids do,” she said.

“Honey, daddy Ron loves you very much and wants you to be really happy. He wants Uncle David to be happy too. But, he is asking for you to want to be his child now, not Uncle David’s.

“When you are with your uncle, do you call him dad?” she asked.

“Sometimes,” said Jenna. “It’s hard to just change, you know?” said Jenna. Her mother nodded.

“I guess,” she said.

“Mom, can we go shopping tomorrow. I need some stuff,” said Jenna. Her mother’s eyes lit up.

“Of course, honey. Whatever you want or need,” said Stacey. That she, they, were spoiling their daughter did not seem to register with them.

******

It was a good weekend weather-wise, but that was the only thing good about it. They were clearly trying to buy my daughter’s love and loyalty. Computer, Ipad, the latest techno-phone: she had it all. And those in addition to an unlimited wardrobe account. Had to be ten thousand worth of stuff in the year since the divorce was final. Jenna was almost sixteen now. I wondered if I was going to get an invitation to her coming out party. I’d heard from her that one was being planned: Jenna bragged about it to me. Ha! I wondered if they thought that she wouldn’t tell me. Well, if they did, they were sadly in error.

They were so obvious doing what they were doing it was embarrassing. My thing was to emphasize the things that money couldn’t buy. I saw to it that she and I were always doing and having fun in the doing. Jenna seemed to get it too, but as for that I really couldn’t know for sure. She did, in more recent times, seem to be something. Something I didn’t quite get. But then again maybe I did.

Whenever I asked a question or made a comment about the cheaters, Jenna seemed to become, what? Maybe disengaged if that would be the way to say it. At any rate, it seemed that way to me. The cheaters were making progress in gaining Jenna’s support against me. Was I being paranoid? Maybe, but it was what it was, and that was the long and the short of it. And, then I had a meet up that was more than interesting.

******

I hadn’t been laid in the two years plus since the night I’d last done my wife. I was horny, and then I was at the Embassy Club, a gentleman’s club that sported really pretty near naked babes.

I was sitting at the bar nursing a manhattan. She slipped onto the stool next to me. She looked familiar, but it was my third manhattan, so maybe not.

“You don’t remember me do you, David?” she said. I looked and looked again.

“No, I don’t think so,” I said. “She seemed to know me, but it was the first time I’d been at the Club, so I had no frame of reference.

“Madeleine,” she said. “Madeleine Carter. We used to be related.”

“Madeleine? Maddie? Ronald’s wife?” I said.

“Well, not for some seventeen years. But, yes, his ex-wife. How is the old asshole?” she said. I snickered.

“A bigger asshole than when you knew him,” I said. She raised an eyebrow at my tone of voice.

“Really,” she said.

“Yeah, he’s married to my ex-wife now. Oh and he, they, have custody of my daughter. I get tokenism; they get my baby, oh, and each other.” My bitterness was definitely showing through.

“Oh wow!” she said. “So he’s still chasin’ ‘em. I was twenty-seven when I unloaded him. Him twenty-five. Kind of a hit to the old psyche if you know what I mean; I mean his philandering.”

“Yeah, I do know what you mean, and for the record I hate the sonovabitch,” I said. “So what are you doing in here?”

“Serving drinks mostly but dancing a little on slow nights. Still got a pretty good shape, so the boss lets me show it off some. The tips are good,” she said.

“Dancing?” I said. “You mean . . .”

“Yeah, I do. The pole, over there,” I said. My gaze floated to where a girl, clearly barely out of her teens, was near naked sliding up and down the brass pole that was situated in the center of the stage. I had to smile.

“Well, yes, you do still have the goods,” I said.

“Thank you,” she said. “So anyway, his cocksmanship is into incest these days.”

“Yeah, he is,” I said.

“What does the family have to say about that?” she said.

“Most of the family is on the east coast and kind of out of the mix. The few that are here, are looking askance at it, but not really making waves. Aunt Delia thinks they’ll crash and burn at some point, but I’m not holding my breath,” I said. She nodded.

“You know,” I said, “I’m hungry, any chance you’d have dinner with me. I’ve been a little short of feminine companionship this past couple of years, and . . .”

“Hmm, sure you want to be seen with a whore, David?” she said.

“You saying you do it for pay?” I said.

“Sure, not a lot, but occasionally. I need the money, and before you ask, no not for drugs,” she said.

“Anyway, to answer your question, no problem for me if you don’t mind being seen with a loser like me,” I said. She laughed.

“Okay then, let’s go,” she said.

Lunch at Denny’s was followed by an afternoon of etchings analysis at her apartment. And she etched the hell out of my back with her fingernails; and, I loved it.

“Wow, you really haven’t been getting any have you, David,” she said. “I can tell by your level of desperation.”

For some reason, her words didn’t upset me. Anybody else saying the stuff she was saying would have stung, but for some reason, again, her words did not. She was what? Interested maybe. Yes, interested but not judgmental.

“No, nothing. Outside of work, I haven’t been able to function for some time. I mean since the divorce,” I said.

“Well, you did me good. Don’t lose my number,” she said.

“Thank you, and I won’t lose it,” I said.

My chance meet up with Madeleine was cathartic for me. It didn’t solve my problem with the two baddies, but it did do a lot to restore my self-confidence. And, it was clear to me that I actually had made a new friend, and so had she. Oh yeah, so had she.

I wondered what Jenna would think of my new friend. The point was probably moot. It was unlikely that the two would ever meet, but who knew.

And, there was something else. My chance meet up with Madeleine brought it home to me. I felt myself mellowing out some. Oh, I was still bitter, but I was no longer as overwhelmed as I had been.

******