It was not a good day. The arthritis in my fingers was playing up making the keyboard an instrument of torture. Dictating with one of those speech to text apps gave some relief, but not a lot.

That was half of the problem, the other half was never knowing whether to sit still or keep moving; whatever I did the pain crept into my hips and spine.

If I kept my chair at exactly the right angle, I could just about stay comfortable and concentrate on what I was saying to the computer. Every hour my secretary brought me another coffee. With each drink I allowed myself three minutes to daydream about getting home, where there was a hot tub and my wife Judith to work some magic.

I sipped the coffee and allowed my eyes to focus on the best picture of Judith I ever took. She was standing on a beach with the sun sparking off the sea behind her. In this picture she’s wrapped in a huge towel, beaming at me with a teasing grin. That was taken a split second before she flung it on the sand and spun around naked. It was a nude beach, a place we loved to go before this joint rot started to attack me.

We’re both older now but somehow Judith looks the same. I don’t. We still visit that beach when I have a good spell, but I know she misses the sex and exhibitionism. I’m doing my best to make up for that. The deal is that she can play away; do what she likes, as long as she plays safe and tells me everything— before and after.

It’s a common enough tale; the husband is ill or can’t get it up, and the wife needs to be satisfied. No doubt you’ve heard it all before. It took a while to convince Judith. I never really understood that. Was it a put-on to make it easy on me or was she not as keen on sex as I thought? If I’m in a cynical mood, which happens sometimes, I tend to imagine it was a plot to make me believe that I used to be the hottest stud ever and no one else would be as good. Yeah, yeah, believe that bullshit if you like, but there’s no way I’m that good now.

What did she have to lose? I was still going to love her and I always thought I'd get a vicarious thrill from watching or at least hearing about whatever enjoyment she got up to. She did go for it— eventually.

We’ve worked our way through a few casual adventures and some semi-regulars. I think I love her more since she’s been able to let go of feeling guilty about it. Sex is just a kind of exercise. I’ve said that to her a hundred times. It’s not any different from skiing or sailing or running marathons. We used to do those. All that’s stopped now because we can’t do them together. Persuading her to enjoy sex without me was worth the effort because I feel a rush when she has fun. I love releasing her to do that. I imagine it’s how a director feels about casting a great actress, a kind of reflected glory.

The most recent stud is Jack. First off he seemed to fit the bill, or fit the bull if you like. My initial verdict was that he was too full of himself. I run a big business so I’ve seen a few bullshitters in my time, but Judith was amused by him so we rolled with it. I doubt if his cock is any better than mine, but mine is attacked to a bunch of cranky joints these days and his isn’t.

She’s been out with him a few times over the last two months and she’s given me the blow by blow each time. Personally I think she deserves better but variety is supposed to be the spice of life.

“What happens if I like Jack too much?” she asked me after their second date.

We’ve had that conversation about every other stud, and it usually goes the same way.

“I have to take that risk,” I said. “If I can’t cope, I hope you’ll be able to tell, and we can work through it.”

“Yes but...”

“The chances are he won’t be as rich as me or as smart...”

“Or as modest.”

“Exactly.” We both laughed, smart cracks have always been one of our ways of getting through things. “There is always a risk,” I said, “that you’ll start to ignore me and only be interested in him. Being serious for a moment, I love you so much I’ll take the risk. If you end up wanting him all the time, then I’ll have to fall back on the nuclear option.”

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s top secret and on a need to know basis.”

She laughed and so did I. Best that way, I thought. What nuclear does is flatten everything, and everyone suffers from the fall-out. That kind of sums up the worst-case scenario.

I got back to dictating, arthritis or not there was work to do. Being the boss has one big advantage, I can work my hours around my joints. I’m so damn stiff in the morning that I tend to come to work after lunch and stay till about nine at night. There’s minimal traffic on the way home and in those evening hours I get a lot done when there’s no one around.

I used to think about having a driver, but then Tesla invented this car that pretty much drives itself. I reckon it could get me home on its own if my joints complained too much. It’s the perfect disabled transport vehicle. I rolled onto my drive at nine-thirty and was a little surprised to see Jack’s car already there. Judith had said nothing about Jack coming. Was I irritated? Yes, no question. I’d had a painful day with one problem after another to solve. I was really looking forward to the hot tub and some affection. If she’d warned me like she was supposed to, then I could have called ahead and told her I was in pain.

There was no one around downstairs. My hips tried to remind me that a stairlift was a good idea but I struggled upstairs anyway. That’s when I heard them. There is something about the sound of fucking that is unmistakable. I pushed the door open a little and stepped into the bedroom. I know Judith saw me. She whispered something to Jack, and I caught enough of his face side-on to know that he grinned.

I stood there watching. They carried on as if nothing was happening. How long had they been at this? I waited. Eventually I bent over to kiss Judith.

She giggled. “Do you like your surprise?”

What the hell was I supposed to say?

“No.”

She looked at me, doubtful for a second and then must have decided that I was joking and poked her tongue out at me. I couldn’t hold that pose without my hips hurting so I stood up and left the room. I made my way to the spare room and dropped on the bed.

After ten minutes waiting for Judith to appear I remembered that my night time arthritis pills were in the kitchen. I dragged myself off the bed and eased my way downstairs. The porn sound-effects continued.

I found the pills, took the evening dose and headed for the hot tub. Twenty minutes of that and I was ready to join the human race again. I stood at the foot of the stairs and listened. The sounds had stopped. My joints were still benefitting from the tub and the pills so I could move well enough to creep upstairs and ease the door open. The two of them were asleep in my bed.

My first thought was that I should have bought a bigger bed because there was no way I could slide in alongside Judith. I could wake her, wake both of them I suppose, but then it dawned on me that Jack wasn’t planning to go home. He didn’t come here to have sex with Judith, he came to sleep with her; sleep with her in my bed.

And she let him. Was she in on it or did she just get exhausted from all that fucking? Standing there an image flashed into my mind of her whispering to him and him grinning. It wouldn’t hold up in court but right then I knew they were both in on the plan.

I was still leaning over Judith, thinking about kissing her when a tear dropped on her forehead and then one on her cheek. More than one. I hadn’t even known I was crying.

I thought she might wake so I got out of there. I didn’t run, these days I don’t run, but I got downstairs as fast as I could. I was wearing one of the towel robes we keep near the hot tub. I dimmed the lights and headed for our couch. We have a footstool that stores blankets. I grabbed the thickest one and settled myself.

It may not be the ideal place for a fifty-year-old arthritic to sleep but it’s way better than the bed in either of the spare rooms; those both have the children's old beds. The kids like them to be there when they come home in the vacations.

Five minutes later Judith appeared.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to get some sleep.”

“Come upstairs.”

“Why?”

There was a silence, and I realised she’d not thought how this was supposed to play out.

“There’s someone in my bed.”

“Jack said you’d like that.”

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“He said cuckolds like that sort of thing.”

“So that’s me now is it?”

“Um...”

“Does humiliating me make it better for you?”

“Jack said you’d like it.”

“How the hell would he know? I don’t care what Jack says. What do you think? That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

“I... I don’t know.” She stood there hesitant, indecisive. “It doesn’t feel right...”

“Did you plan this or did Jack?”

“He said you’d like it.”

I’d found a position where my hips were not bothering me.

“Could you give me the other blanket, I’ve just gotten comfy.”

She picked it out of the stool, shut the lid and unfolded the blanket, moving mechanically, doing something she’d done a thousand times with the kids, being mother again. She tucked it around me and leaned down to kiss me. I should have closed my eyes and then I wouldn’t have seen the moment when she saw my tears.

I closed my eyes— half closed, maybe seven eighths closed, but open enough to see her turn away, confused, uncertain what to do. After a few minutes she moved away, heading back upstairs.

I figured that I’d be stiff in the morning but there was no way I wanted to be on that couch and looking like a cripple when Jack appeared for breakfast. He’d gloat, I knew he’d gloat. He’d played Judith, I was sure of that now but they both had to learn a lesson. I’ve always hated sleeping angry. I knew what I had to do.

I’m a business man, I try to think ahead. My Dad had a phrase he used all the time— 'Trust everyone and cut the cards.'

Having a plan was always in the back of my mind, right from when we started the hotwife thing. One night over too much wine after a conference dinner it developed into a sort of script. Andrew Graham was an excellent salesman who had a kind of side line in amateur dramatics. He was six foot one, kept himself in excellent shape and had what I knew to be a deserved reputation as something of a Lothario. He'd wanted a script for some amateur play, and we dreamed on up that night. I’ve never known if he used it on the stage but he was convinced he could make it work in real life.

Lying there on the couch, staring at the space where Judith had stood I knew this was the time to press the nuclear button. Would Andrew go for it? I set my watch for five am and got back out of my comfortable cocoon to set the hot tub to be good and warm when I got up.

I slept better than I might have expected and woke to my alarm at five. I took my pills and spent half an hour in the hot tub, dried, dressed, grabbed my brief case and stepped outside. From my laptop, sitting in the car, I checked all the data our security system could give me and set everything to record. I sent messages to work to say I wasn’t going to be in for a couple of days and then called a private nursing home that I have a big share in. I told them my arthritis was playing up, and I needed a couple of days of rest and therapy.

If Andrew wasn’t available, then my best case was that two days incommunicado would spook Judith into realising she’d overdone it. Worst case was that she’d decide I was no use to her and then she’d have to decide whether to shack up with Jack or start over.

My last call was to Andrew to find out if he was still interested in running our crazy script. We always agreed that if it ever went down, it would have to be at short notice, taking whatever opportunity came along. I promised him I’d cover any expenses and pay for his time. Andrew took two seconds to say yes.

“You’re serious?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you okay?”

“My joints are giving me hell. I’m heading for a few days therapy. This phone will be off. I’ll text you a number to call me on when I’m settled in.”

“And you’re serious... the whole works?”

“The whole works, the way we wrote it, but you can ad-lib if you have to.”

“And afterwards.”

“We're still friends whatever happens.”

“Okay boss... I hope you know what you’re doing.” I wasn’t his boss, not now anyway but old habits persist I guess.

I started the Tesla and crept out of the drive and away. The car hardly makes a sound, a risk to pedestrians for sure, but great if you want to creep up on someone or slip away without a sound.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

I checked into the nursing home and told them to hold all my calls. I turned off my phone and put it in a metal box inside the safe; maybe that was excessive, but I wanted to be sure no one could track it.

I had a light breakfast, a massage and a sauna. By mid-morning my joints had eased, and I turned on my laptop and started scanning what the security system back home had to tell me.

At eight-fifteen Judith came downstairs to find the couch empty and the blankets back in the footstool. There was no sign of me. We have video security in the rooms downstairs so I saw a slightly panicked look on her face. She tried to call someone on her phone, my guess is that it was me. I made a note of the time and planned to check my missed calls later.

After a search around the house and in my office Judith looked through the window and realised that the Tesla wasn’t there. Another troubled look crossed her face before she went back upstairs.

The system only gives sound from the bedroom.

I heard the door open.

“Jack, wake up.”

I hear various groans. “What?”

“He’s gone.”

“Who’s gone.”

“Martin’s gone. We screwed up last night. He slept on the couch downstairs and now he’s gone.”

“So what?”

“He was upset. I should have warned him, we shouldn’t have sprung that on him.”

“So come back to bed, we can take all day.”

“No Jack, get real. I need to know that he’s alright.”

“Of course he is.”

“No.”

“Jude, cuckolds get a thrill out of that sort of thing, he’ll spend the day thinking about what I’ve been doing to you. He’ll think up more than we’ve done. He’ll be turned on all day. Let him enjoy it.”

“He was crying.”

“What? How do you know? Are there tears all over the kitchen?” There was laughter in Jacks voice.

“No last night. After we fell asleep. He came into the room. He must have and he was crying. Then he went downstairs to sleep on the couch.”

“How do you know?”

“Something woke me. My forehead and my cheek were wet. I tasted it. They were tears. That’s what woke me. I went down and he was on the couch.”

“Did you tell him to come to bed?”

“He doesn’t like the other beds and there was no room here. You were in his bed.”

“That was the whole point honey. We talked about it, that’s the thrill for cuckolds, being pushed out a little. Pushed out of your pussy and pushed out of your bed. That’s the thrill.”

“He bought this bed specially because of his arthritis.”

“And very comfy it is too. I love it here and the company’s great. Come back to bed.”

“You’ve got a one track mind. Don’t you have to go to work?”

“I booked the day off specially.”

“You didn’t say.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh yeah?”

There were footsteps.

“Hey come back.”

The door shut and a minute later Judith was back downstairs. She tried her phone again and then typed a message. After that I watched Judith make breakfast. Ordinarily that would have been rather mundane but this time she was naked. She’d been naked when she came downstairs to find me gone; I kind of hoped that was a good sign but right now I just watched and enjoyed.

I kept an eye on the sound track from the bedroom to see if Jack was stirring. What would Judith do I wondered; would she make breakfast for two? Would she take him breakfast in bed or drag him downstairs? Nothing happened very fast, so I figured I could deal with my curiosity later, what I really wanted to know was when Andrew was going to put the plan into action.

I messaged him, giving him a burner phone number.  I got a message back almost immediately.

‘11 am’

It was ten-thirty by then so I had some time to decide how I wanted to watch this. I figured most of the action would be downstairs with a side show in the bedroom. I set up my iPad to be a screen for the kitchen and the laptop for the living room with my spare phone set for audio from the bedroom. If anything happened elsewhere, I’d have to improvise as it went down.

I ordered a coffee for 10.45 and asked not to be disturbed after that.

At eleven o'clock the door bell rang. Judith came downstairs in a dressing gown. As she left the bedroom I heard her say something muffled. No matter, Jack must still be in bed. I increased the volume on the headset from the bedroom and heard some movement and then the sound of the shower.

Judith opened the front door and there was Andrew, looking as suave as ever and holding a clip board. Standing behind him was a woman. I couldn’t see her face, she was clutching a briefcase and trying to look every inch the faithful assistant.

“Mrs. Morrisson?”

“Yes.”

“Andrew Marshall, I have instructions from your husband, may I come in?”

Judith didn’t really have a choice, she had no idea where I’d gone or what I was doing. The voice I’d heard trying to call me was worried. I hadn’t had time to check whether she’d fucked Jack again. If she did, then it had to have been a quick one because she didn’t have that freshly ravaged look about her. Jack was in the shower, with luck a little frustrated.

Andrew barged his way in, making it to the living room before Judith caught up with him.

“Sorry to disturb you. Mr Morrisson gave us urgent instructions this morning. We are from Crowley and Marshal, Estate Agents. We are instructed to measure the house so that we can construct sales particulars. My assistant will tour the house and measure the rooms.”

He turned to the assistant. “Best to start upstairs Miss Jones, the usual routine.”

Miss Jones was off up the stairs before Judith could do anything

“I understand you have a small gym and a hot tub. Those are tricky things, sometimes they improve the value of the property, but sometimes it goes the other way. Could you show me please?”

I could see that Judith was thunderstruck. Without thinking she led him toward the recreation room but by the time they’d got there she had her breath back.

“I don’t understand what this is all about. Could we stop for a moment? I need an explanation.”

Damn I forgot to set a screen to show the rec. room. It took half a minute to re-tune the iPad to cover that.

“So you’re saying that my husband called you this morning to ask you to sell the house?”

“Yes, didn’t he tell you?”

Judith looked embarrassed and her face flushed. “I um... I didn’t get a chance to talk to my husband this morning.”

“Why was that?” Andrew asked in the most innocent way. “Did you oversleep?”

“No, well not exactly.” Andrew knew exactly why she didn’t see me.

“No matter, I’m sure he’ll explain when he sees you. He did ask us to expedite this as fast as we could. I assume he has some reason for this.”

“Can he do this?”

“The deeds are in his company’s name, and as I understand it there is no outstanding mortgage.”

“No.”

“So no problem then.”

“I don’t want him to sell.”

“You’d have to take that up with him. I have my instructions.”

“I can’t get him on the phone. I’ve tried all morning.”

True enough I thought; by then I’d had a quick check on my phone — six missed calls and a couple of texts I hadn’t read. I guessed there would be more soon. I put that phone back in its tin.

Andrew was moving around the room, looking at the equipment, making notes. He strolled into the alcove where the tub sat and put his hand into the water.

“You keep the tub pretty warm.”

“How hot is it?” Judith came over and put her hand in. “Martin must have cranked it up this morning, it helps his arthritis.”

“Nice to have this, I’m surprised you aren’t in and out of it all the time.”

Andrew jotted some notes on his clipboard. It crossed my mind that I ought to be checking what was happening upstairs. I froze the rec. room and listened in on the bedroom, starting from the moment Miss Jones went up the stairs.

The lack of video was disappointing, but the audio soon got interesting.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realise.” Female voice, must be Miss Jones. “I’m supposed to be measuring the rooms.” A giggle. “I could measure that too. You don’t need to cover up, I’ve seen it all before.”

“Seen one this big?”

“I may have, of course it’s kind of soft, so it’s tricky to say for sure.”

“We could fix that.”

There was a scrabbling noise. “Let me put my kit down." My phone that was tuned to the bedroom lit up— a Face-time call. I hit the button and a second later I caught a great view of Miss Jones getting to work on Jack’s cock. I hit screen record.

This whole thing was going so much better than the crazy plan that Andrew and I had dreamed up that drunken night. I switched back to Andrew.

“Have you got to do this?” Judith’s said. “I mean does the house have to go on the market straight away?”

“Your husband gave instructions.”

“Yes you said, but he’s not here is he. I was wondering if there was some way I could persuade you to take a day or two.”

“I don’t know...” I had to admire Andrew’s acting skill. He sounded genuinely hesitant. “I’ve got Miss Jones working and the locksmith will be here later.”

“The locksmith?”

“It’s part of the sales process, we always change all the locks. It gives the new buyers a feeling of security. We use specialist locks set to a digital combination; that way we can assure the new clients that there are no spare keys knocking around anywhere.”

That threw Judith, I guess changing the locks had a depressing feel to it. It’s the way divorce goes isn’t it. The cheating wife gets thrown out, the locks are changed, and the rest carries on from separate addresses through the courts.

“What is Miss Jones actually doing?” I thought Judith was playing for time; trying to get a handle on what was happening to her life.

“She’s measuring the rooms upstairs. We can go and see what she’s up to if you like.”

I had a quick look at what my phone was recording and realised that it was a conference call. Right then I was pretty sure that Andrew was hearing the sound track from Miss Jones’s activity upstairs.

“How would that help?”

“I don’t know, I’m trying to be on your side here, maybe if she found a problem, something that could cause a delay.”

“What could that be?”

Andrew laughed. “Honestly, I really don’t know. I’m clutching at straws, trying to help you.”

Judith closed in on him, putting an arm around him. Unless he had a sudden attack of blindness, he had to know there was nothing under that robe.

“Come on,” she said, “lets go see, otherwise I’ll have to push you in the hot tub.”

They set off up the stairs, going out of my sight because there are no cameras covering the stairs, all I could see from my very comfortable chair in the nursing home was the feed from Miss Jones’s phone.

Andrew told me later what happened, but I’ll tell you now. He set off along the landing towards one of the kids bedrooms which let Judith have a clear view into the master bedroom where Miss Jones was giving Jack an enthusiastic blow job.

He heard Judith gasp and saw her sag at the knees. He spun around just in time to catch her. Andrew held her and made a show of looking through the door and being shocked.

“Take me downstairs,” Judith said.

“Who is that?”

“Oh God.”

They retreated to the rec. room. Andrew sat on the recliner. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Miss Jones is new to the job, I’ve no idea what went on up there but it was a bit of a surprise to me. Who is that man?”

“Jack.”

“Jack? He’s a guest?”

“Sort of. What will happen to Miss Jones?”

“I’ll have to fire her.”

“It may not be her fault.”

“It was pretty clear to me.”

“Jack can be very persuasive...”

“Persuasive?”

“He’s, well yeah, persuasive. He ... um... can take a woman in, say things that make it all seem too good to miss...”

Andrew kept quiet, raised an eyebrow, waited.

“So he may be more to blame than her.” Judith said, “I’d hate for him to cause her trouble.”

“I’m curious... How come you have someone like that as a house guest?”

“It’s complicated,” Judith said, sighing. “Seeing that... I don’t know anymore.” She starting to cry again. Andrew took her hand and pulled her onto the couch. He handed her a handkerchief.  

“When is he supposed to leave?”

“Right now,” Judith said, some determination coming back into her voice.

“Then we’d better get up there and throw him out. If I know anything about guys like that they’re probably in bed by now. Do you fancy catching them in the act?”

There was a mischievous edge to Andrew’s voice as he said it, and some of it seemed to catch Judith. She smiled for the first time since Andrew had arrived.

“What about Miss Jones?”

“You get rid of Jack and I’ll deal with Miss Jones.”

I saw the first few steps of them creeping up the stairs and then heard nothing until the sound of the door opening came on Miss Jones’s phone. Jack was busy fucking her when Judith and Andrew came into view.

Judith pulled the sheet off the bed.

“What the hell are you doing. I should have known I couldn’t trust you. Get out of my house.”

There was the minor problem that he was buried balls deep in Miss Jones and stark naked, but Judith had the general idea right. Judith pulled the belt off her robe and started whipping Jacks back with it. A leather belt might have been better but they aren’t the fashion on bath robes. Judith’s was a heavy silk twisted rope with tassels on the ends. It was never likely to do permanent damage but psychologically it did the trick.

“Miss Jones, I’ll see you downstairs.” Andrew’s voice was an excellent interpretation of a tyrannical boss. The girl was off the bed in a flash, grabbed her clothes in one smooth motion and was out of sight in a second.

“I think you’d better do what the lady said.”  Andrew can look very fit and dangerous when he feels like it. He was half an inch taller than Jack but had the advantage of being fully dressed and in shoes that gave him another inch.

Jack’s face was a picture, I saw him embarrassed, angry, and then submissive in quick succession, caving in quickly as Andrew picked up the clothes that were on the chair and threw them onto the bed.

Miss Jones ran downstairs. Judith caught up with her in the living room and grabbed her elbow. She guided her into the hot tub.

“Relax for a minute,” she said. “This will help.” She took the clothes out of the girl’s hands and placed them on the chair. “Let yourself unwind. I’m sorry about Jack, he’s like that.”

I had to admire Judith. She’d got her mojo back in no time at all. She wrapped her robe around herself and hovered in the doorway. From there she could see the bottom of the stairs and the hallway. She waited until she saw Jack close the front door behind himself and then she visibly relaxed. Jack’s car has one of those throaty exhausts that’s supposed to make him seem macho. Even over the security system I heard him roar off. After a minute Judith walked to the hallway and peered out of the window. I couldn’t see what she was seeing but when she turned back into the house a little more of the tension had gone.

She waited at the bottom of the stairs for Andrew to come down.

“I’ve put Miss Jones in the hot tub to let her calm down. Please don’t be too hard on her.”

Andrew smiled. “If you say so ma’am.”

“Has she ever done anything like that before?”

“Not while she’s been working with me.”

Andrew was being truthful up to a point. Miss Jones did not work for him. Now I’d seen her properly I recognised Penny Jones, another member of Andrew’s drama group who had a bigger reputation than Andrew for jumping into bed rather too often.

“I thought as much.” Judith said. “It was that bastard Jack. He likes taking advantage of people.”

She looked quickly at Andrew. “I mean, I’ve been sitting here in my bathrobe, the belt’s upstairs, it’s fallen open a couple of times and you haven’t tried to jump me.”

Andrew smiled. “I’m supposed to be working.”

“You’re not getting a lot done are you, what with one thing or another. Miss Jones is naked in my hot tub, I think I’ll join her. It’s been a stressful morning. Would you like to try it?”

Judith slipped out of her robe. “I can’t think of a better way of delaying you, and then maybe there’ll be time to talk my husband out of selling.”

“And lose my commission?”

“I could offer you something else instead...”

“Does your husband know you do this sort of thing?”

Judith slowly turned around a couple of times. “Actually he does... maybe not exactly like this...”

“And if I called him he’d be happy?”

For a second Judith hesitated. “He’s not answering his phone. Do you have some way to contact him? Can you call him?”

“So if I could contact your husband you’d want me to ask him if it’s okay to have my way with you like the scene upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“So I could call him and tell you he said yes, and you’d believe me?”

Judith paused, looked worried for a second and then smiled. “I guess... You look like an honest man... One condition.”

“What?”

“You don’t fire Miss Jones.”

Who knows where that would have ended. The door bell rang.

“You’d better see what that is.”

Right then I wished I’d been watching from the car outside, that would have been a great time to make an entrance. It was the locksmith.

Judith answered the door with her gown wrapped around her. Right then my guess was that she was horny as hell.

“Locksmith for Martin Morrison,” he said.

“Wait here please.”

Judith ran through to Andrew. “It’s your locksmith. Can’t you send him away?”

“I'll have to pay him anyway. Better to let him work, for all you know Jack might have stolen a key; the new locks could be useful whatever you persuade your husband to do.”

“But we can’t... well you know... if he’s here.”

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles kid, but do me a favour, don’t try to seduce the locksmith, he’s gay.”

Andrew strolled over to the hot tub. “Time to get out of there Miss Jones and no hiding all your charms.”

The girl stood up and stepped out of the tub, she walked across the room head high, tit’s pushed out proudly, and did a slow twirl. Judith wrapped a big towel around her.

“I’ll leave you to get dressed.”

The locksmith took a couple of hours and then gave Judith a tutorial about the new locks. Each one had a combination and there was an emergency set of keys.

“What’s the combination?”

“I can’t tell you. It has to be set by your husband.”

“You mean there’s no combination right now?”

“Yeah, it has to be activated.”

“And Martin’s the only person who can do that? Does the emergency key work now?”

“Not until the lock is activated.”

“So when you close the door I’m locked in.”

“No, you can open it from the inside but if you go out and let it shut, you won’t be able to get back in.”

“The same with the garden door?”

“Yes, but I guess you could put something in the way to keep it open.”

“Well that’s something,” she said.

 Andrew had already taken Miss Jones away so by four in the afternoon the house was empty. Judith was at home and effectively locked in. She could open the door for deliveries, but not go out unless she was prepared to leave the house open or risk not being able to get back in.

I was rather proud of that set up, she had a choice, she could stay at home or she could leave, but it was a one-way ticket.

I left the recordings live and had another spell in the sauna and another massage. The one decision I had to make was when to go home.

Judith called Andrew later that evening.

“It’s Judith Morrison, I was wondering if you’d spoken to my husband?”

I guess Andrew said no.

“Have you any idea where he is?”

I hoped Andrew said no.

“Are you still putting the house on the market?”

Pause.

“Why not?”

“Oh, I see. So are you coming back tomorrow?”

Long pause.

“So nothing happens until you’ve spoken to Martin and you have a slot in your diary.”

Judith put the phone down and I watched her sit in the living room sobbing. Maybe it was just relief, maybe it was realising all of our rules that she’d broken. I considered going home but thought better of it. Another day to think about everything might do us both good and I needed to talk to Andrew first.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Next morning I started with a sauna and another massage. I tuned into the house and watched Judith eat breakfast. This time she was wearing a silk dress, it draped well on her but I had no idea what was underneath. I decided that I had to install more cameras in the house. Maybe that could be one condition of making up with Judith.

I knew damn well I was going to make up anyway, but I could play at bargaining while I had an edge. I spent the rest of the morning doing some rough edits on the footage from yesterday, which took longer on my laptop than if I’d been at home.

What to do for the rest of the day? or more precisely what time should I aim to get home? I wanted Judith to worry for a while so I kept my phone in the metal box, that way she couldn’t track it even if she’d remembered how to work the Find-My-iPhone app.

I called Andrew and made sure of the rest of my plan and checked with the locksmith what I had to do to activate everything. I called work, told them I was fine, but to hold all except ‘end-of-the-world calls till Monday.

I spent an hour in the pool doing some gentle swimming and then having a spell in the hot tub and back to the pool. I had a therapist help me with some exercises in the water and convinced myself that I needed a pool at home.

At five I checked the video from home again, Judith had to be outside or asleep in bed. The back door was wedged open, so the garden seemed most likely. I thanked all the staff at the nursing home, told them I felt a lot better and drove home. Once I was close to home, I activated the locks with my phone and set the new digital combination to Judith’s birthday. That meant taking my phone out of it’s tin box and turning it on. All Judith’s messages came flooding in.

I won’t list them all but the gist of it was a thousand apologies. Later in the sequence she said she knew I wasn’t dead because I had sent Andrew to sell the house. She begged me not to do that.

After that most of the messages said please call back and not much else. In the middle of all the messages was one saying she’d thrown Jack out and she’d never see him again.

I called home.

“Hi love, it’s me.”

“Thank god. Are you okay?  Are you coming home? Can we talk?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Can’t talk more, I’m driving.”

“I love you Martin, I’m so glad you’re coming home.”

I parked the car and headed for the front door. I hit the key pad with the combination and the door opened. I nearly fell into the room. Standing in the hall was Judith wearing her wedding dress. I didn’t even know she kept it.

“Wow.”

“I’m sorry love,” she said “I forgot the rules. Please don’t sell the house.”

Standing there I was stumped. I had a script in my head but there was no way it involved a wedding dress that I hadn’t seen in twenty-five years.

“Do a twirl.”

She spun around.

“Where were you keeping that?”

“In the back of the wardrobe,” she laughed.

“And you could get into it. Am I allowed to kiss the bride?”

She didn’t exactly leap into my arms, we’re both fifty after all, but close enough. The kiss and hug gave me a chance to get my breath back and collect my thoughts but she was still ahead of me.

“Unzip me.”

I did as I was told and a few seconds later Judith was standing there in the hall wearing a white silk basque and white stockings and not much else.

“Should I close the door?”

She turned me around twisted out of my grasp and stood in the doorway for a few seconds before she closed it. There wasn’t anyone there but there could have been.

After that she led me into the living room, let me sit down and waited.

“You wanted to talk,” I said.

“I thought you might start.”

“I don’t know where to begin. “

“Where did you go?”

“To the nursing home, I had two days of therapy.”

“Oh God,” she said. “I didn’t realise you were that bad.”

“You didn’t ask. If I remember correctly, you told me that I was supposed to enjoy Jack sleeping in my bed. I’d had a shitty day and everything hurt and then Jack was in my bed... Maybe I over reacted. It really crushed me. I lay down in Tim’s bed and I thought you’d come to me... I waited and then I remembered my pills were downstairs. I looked in the bedroom again but you both ignored me so I got the pills, had some time in the tub and then settled on the couch, it was better than Tim’s bed.”

As I spoke she sank onto the footstool, the one we keep the blankets in. She had her head in her hands. It was a minute before she looked at me and then I saw that she was crying.

“So, moving on,” I said. “What did you think of my nuclear option?”

“You mean selling the house?”

I said nothing.

“It scared the hell out of me. I’ve been desperate all day but that nice estate agent man made it bearable and what with one thing and another he hasn’t done it yet. Has he spoken to you?”

“His name is Andrew. So about this one thing and another?” I said.

“Has Andrew told you what happened?”

“No.”  He didn’t need to, I’d heard or seen most of it on video. If she’d asked me outright if I knew what happened I’d have had to tell her but she asked the wrong question.

“It’s embarrassing.”

“I’d like you to tell me.” I tried to sound as serious as I could. “We need to get everything in the open don’t we.”

“Can’t we just put it behind us?”

“I hope so love... but we have to clear the decks. That’s what I meant by a nuclear option, flatten everything, make a clean sheet, start again. Does that make sense?”

“But we have to deal with the fall out?”

“Giving you a Hall Pass, you know, to have sex with others to make up for what I can’t give you these days... It was part of loving you. Finding Jack in my bed and obviously intending to sleep with you not just have sex threw me completely. Up till then I was giving you something and all that I was losing was what this disease has taken away from me already. Not being able to sleep with you punched a hole in my heart.”

“Oh God.”

“It didn’t help that I’d had a bad day anyway. That night I didn’t just feel ill, I felt crippled.”

Judith slid off the stool and knelt in front of me. “Stop,” she said. “I should have gone first. I’m so sorry.” She laid her head on my knees and started to speak.

“Jack plays a good game, so good that I didn’t see it... He said he understood about marriages like ours. I didn’t see through it. He’d let me tell him things about us and then he’d tell me what it really meant. All bullshit really... how would he know, but he took me in. He said surprising you by being in our bed would be a big turn on for you. He talked about it every time we met, as though he was excited about helping me give you a treat. I should have talked to you—’

“I bet he told you a surprise would be better.”

“I wanted to come to you when you went to Tim’s bed but Jack said that wasn’t the way to do it.”

“He said you should have really loud sex so I could hear, and that would turn me on.”

“Did you hear him say that?”

“No love,” I said, stroking her hair. “I’m guessing. There are probably husbands who are turned on that way, maybe he’s met some or just read stories.”

“You don’t have to be fair to him.” For the first time since we sat down she looked up and smiled at me.

“Andrew brought an assistant with him. She was measuring the rooms upstairs while I showed him around downstairs. I don’t know exactly what happened but ten minutes later she was in the bedroom and giving Jack a blowjob and it didn’t stop there.”

“Did you stop to watch?”

This time she chuckled. "No, I nearly passed out. Andrew caught me before I fell and helped me downstairs. Ten minutes later the two of them were in bed... Andrew persuaded me to go up and look again. I threw Jack out. I felt so ashamed... What on earth was I doing letting a man like that sleep with me and upset you?”

“What happened then?”

“I made Miss Jones get in the hot tub. I don’t think it was her fault— she may be a complete slut but Jack was in my bedroom... He should have said no, so I blamed him not her.”

“And then?”

“You want all the disgusting details?”

“There’s more?”

“No, not really. Not actually. The thing is, Andrew was so nice and such a gentleman I almost seduced him. It’s crazy, I can’t be trusted, I was horny and annoyed with Jack and Miss Jones is a dish.”

“You fancy her too?”

Long pause this time. “Yes,” she said, her face flat against my thigh.

“Luckily I was rescued by the locksmith turning up.” She giggled. “Andrew said he was gay.”

I stroked her hair a little more. I glanced at my watch.

“Would you like something to eat?”

“Could we order in?”

“I already did. It should be here soon. Can I ask you something?"

“Anything.”

“What would you offer in exchange for the code to the new locks?”

“Oh wow.” She lifted herself off my legs and knelt in front of me for a couple of seconds. “that’s very clever...”

“Well?”

“You can change the combination anytime you want, that’s what the guy said. Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“So if I promise something and I break the promise, you could change the lock with a press of a button.”

“Yes.”

“Would the emergency key still work?”

“In theory.”

“In theory?”

“I figured the best place for that was in a key safe outside. That way we can get in if there was a power failure or some other problem that killed the system.”

“So that would have a combination too, like the one we have now.”

“I’d use the same one.”

“But you could change that too. This is the digital solution to changing the locks and kicking out the cheating wife.”

“Yeah, I guess, if you want to see it that way.”

“I wish Jack was here.”

“What?”

“I wish he was here so I could kick him out again.”

That time we both laughed. that was something of the old Judith.

“Okay,” she said. “Do I have to promise to be faithful? No more hall pass.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh come on Martin, please just say what you want.”

“That’s a good negotiating ploy,” I said, “but I want you to offer.”

“Yeah, I get it. If I offer more than you expect, then you grab it, and if I offer less, you say no.”

I said nothing.

“I promise to love and cherish you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part.”

“That’s nice, have I heard that before somewhere?”

“That’s why I got the dress out, to remind me, remind both of us. I want to add something, but I have to ask you a question.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to give up the hall pass thing?”

“No, well not unless my joints have some miracle cure, but we have to find a way to make it work. I don’t want another night like... well you know.”

“I have an idea. You need a safe-word, you know, like in BDSM play, a word that says you’re not coping. If you use the word, then everything stops and we get ourselves safe. If I ignore it, you change the locks. How does that sound?”

I tried to imagine what word I could have said when she was in bed with Jack, what would I have felt comfortable saying. I couldn’t imagine Judith leaping out of bed in the middle of sex, not that that was likely, but I knew I’d find it hard to do. I’d hurt myself rather than her.

“There have to be two words, like an amber light and then a red.” I said.

“Go on.”

“The first word would mean I was getting uncomfortable, uneasy, jittery and it would mean something had to change. That might be pulling me into whatever was going down, or maybe just knowing that I couldn’t take much more.”

“So think of two words.”

I tried to think, to imagine myself walking into that room and saying orange, or banana or something such. I couldn’t conceive of a way that it wouldn’t seem weird, and probably weak too. Maybe plain English would be better...

Some of my doubts must have shown in my face. Judith came to sit by me, wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek.

“What is it?”

“I thought about you and Jack. I can’t think of anything that won’t sound weak or dumb.”

“There won’t be another Jack.”

That did it. I laughed. “So if I come in the room and say something like; ‘Honey don’t forget Jack will be here soon.’ That ought to do it. The red signal would be, ‘Jack will be here any minute.”

“Brilliant,” she said. “I promise if you say those words I’ll take notice, I’ll make sure you’re good with whatever is going on and if you’re not, then it stops. Is that okay? Do I get my key code?”

“The code is your birthday.”

She shrieked with laughter.

“I have a confession to make but first I’d like to know one more thing.” I said.

“Go on,” she said, “anything you ask.”

“If the locksmith hadn’t come did you plan to seduce Andrew to get him to hold the sale?”

“I thought it might be worth a try... Is that what you wanted to know?”

“That would have been a good plan and it may not be too late.”

“To get him to stop the sale? Can’t you just tell him?”

“Well yes, sort of. I have a confession to make. Andrew isn’t really an estate agent.”

“What?”

“I was desperate. I had to do something. Andrew is a broker, he’s a competent salesman, so he could sell a house. His fun thing is amateur dramatics.”

I didn’t dare look at Judith as I said this, I just kept going.

“A couple of years ago he wanted a new play. We were kicking ideas around over a glass or two at a conference. You just starred in the first performance.”

“It was a set up?”

She didn’t sound angry, so I kept going.

“Mostly yes, Jack added something we hadn’t planned and Penny Jones does have a bit of a reputation, bringing her was Andrew’s idea.”

“And the locksmith?”

“He was genuine. I was scared Jack might steal a key and kind of move in on us. I’m paranoid probably, new locks seemed like a good idea.”

I stopped, waiting, hoping it would be okay.

Judith looked at me for about ten seconds and then collapsed in laughter. After about a minute of incoherent side-clutching belly laughs she calmed down.

“Okay, so the lock business is genuine. Good, I like our deal on that and I’m married to a playwright. Great.”

“There’s one other thing, Andrew is turning up with our food in about ten minutes.”

“Is Miss Jones with him?”

“Should be.”

“Oh wow.” Long pause. “Should I change?”

“Why?”

“This is my marriage underwear.”

“Oh, right... why don’t you wear the robe you wore yesterday?”

It took her a second to react.

“How do you know what I was wearing?”

“Did you forget about our security system?”

She shrieked with laughter this time and then threw a cushion at me.  

“If I wear that I’ll feel like fucking him.”

“So?”

“So you’ll have to watch but I have a request, I want Miss Jones to suck you while Andrew fucks me. Are you up for that?”

“If she is... so long as I sleep in my bed tonight.”

“With me or Miss Jones?”

This time I threw the cushion at Judith and then the doorbell rang. Andrew was his charming self clutching bags of food with Penny Jones in tow, similarly laden.

I led them into the kitchen and after a couple of minutes Judith appeared wearing the same robe she’d was wearing when Andrew left.

“Congratulations,” she said. “The two of you should take a bow. that was a great first night.”

Andrew stood for a second, looked at me, shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he said. “it seemed such a great idea when we dreamed it up, actually doing it to you was hard going. I know that was the first time I’d met you, but your picture is on Martin’s desk. It wasn’t easy.”

“What about you Penny? How was it for you?”

Penny bit her lip and looked at the ground for a second. “Jack made it easy,” she said eventually. She looked straight at Judith. “I was supposed to seduce him, set him up so you could catch us at it but I didn’t have to do a thing. He was all over me as soon as I got into the room. I hardly had time to place the camera.”

“Camera?” Judith almost jumped.

“Well yeah, that was the point. That was the act, you know, taking pictures for the sales brochure. Did I get it placed okay?”

“You mean there’s a video?”

“You did a good job,” I said. I turned to Judith. “Do you want to watch it? It doesn’t show Jack in a very good light.”

“All the better...  So am I right in guessing that you have footage of everything downstairs as well?”

“Every minute. Upstairs is sound only, apart from Penny’s film.”

“So?” Judith said, “We have a movie of your script which none of us actors have seen.”

“It’s not been properly edited...”

“So?”

“The cameras aren’t good enough, the whole thing would have to be re-shot,” I said, “and it kind of has the wrong ending.”

The three of them turned around to me. “How was it supposed to end?”

“The locksmith turned up too early, and he wasn't supposed to be in the movie. Judith was supposed to seduce Andrew to stop him selling the house and then I’d have my unfaithful wife and her feckless lover both on film. As it is, I have my friend being the perfect gentleman, my wife contritely regretting what she did to me and the two of you being sympathetic to the poor exploited Miss Jones. Who would want to buy that?"