“Can you help me lift this?” the blonde with the large breasts asked.
“That’s what she said!” the man responded uproariously.
The two burst out in laughter, yet again.
The box sat on the floor unmoved. Both were looking at it, breaking out in laughter each time they started to lift it.
Jake sat at his desk, gritting his teeth. His annoyance with the two was growing.
Jake shared a double desk with TJ who was out of the office this week. TJ was a really good work partner, he was quiet, always kept his nose down, and was focused. The two made a great team with many accomplishments.
Typically, nothing could distract Jake from his duties, that is until this man and woman moved into the adjacent desk.
Jake had nothing against them, he liked them both. They were both very good at their jobs, they were top performers in the company, and they were both friendly, sometimes too friendly with each other.
But office etiquette, they had zero.
Ever since the two of them were made work partners and assigned a desk next to them, Jake began struggling with his work due to all their goings on. They were interfering with his ability to focus.
For starters, they were more vocal than he and TJ. Then, their work habits and mannerisms started to get under his skin. Lastly, the two had developed a very inappropriate banter about sex, leading to sexual tension between them, and it was spilling over into his workspace.
He didn’t know how much more he could take. How could they be so irresponsible? Jake was looking for a solution to his newly developed problems.
He used noise-canceling earbuds to block out all the extra chatter and noise the two generated. He could communicate with his partner using internal instant messaging. It didn’t require verbal discussion, and they used it oftentimes anyway. If they needed somewhere quiet to have a discussion, they could take their laptops to one of the small conference rooms.
The first problem was solved.
Their work mannerisms and habits were a little more disconcerting, but eventually, he learned to simply ignore their extended breaks and procrastination. Their lack of discipline irritated him, but he could overlook it.
The reality is, they always completed their work on time. He didn’t understand how, but it worked for them.
The second problem was solved.
The incessant flirting, the sexual innuendos, and the nonstop talking dirty to one another were driving him mad.
The last and biggest problem was not solved.
He could understand why they had an attraction to one another. The two, Linda and Anthony, were both attractive people, they had decent personalities, both were successful, and they were outgoing. But their lives differed from his considerably.
No one had ever made a sexual advance toward him. No one had ever bought him a drink at a bar. He wasn’t sure anyone had flirted with him since college. But certainly, no one had ever shared inappropriate jokes and talked so openly about sex with him in the office. How could they be so brazen?
Jake’s sex life was lackluster, to say the least, but he was interested in sex and thought about it frequently. He just didn’t let it rule his life, and he was not about to let someone else’s rule his.
Jake was convinced Linda and Anthony were about to act on their sexual advances to one another. Their jokes and flirtations had taken on a more serious tone recently. This week with TJ out of the office, they had become relentless, and he was certain they were making plans to act upon them.
The well-equipped room the four of them shared was open. There were no cubicles or walls to separate their large double desks.
Corporate wanted the four of them in the room together, partnered up in pairs, so they could collaborate on larger projects.
At first, Jake welcomed the idea of being able to collaborate with Anthony and Linda. But now it had become such a distraction to him, he was considering a transfer or quitting the company altogether.
The anxiety and stress they were causing him were affecting his job performance.
He loved his job, he loved working with TJ, and he loved the productive environment they once had. It had been ruined. He now hated being in the office.
What he hated most of all, was the sexual tension it created for himself. Being in a sexual drought, all the whispers, the touching, and the sexual looks Linda would give Tony had worked him into a sexual frenzy.
He had tried masturbating when at home, but no relief. He would fantasize about the two of them having sex at the office, but no relief. He tried masturbating several times each evening at home, but still, no relief. He had even started masturbating in the Men’s room during the workday, but still no relief.
Every single day, at lunchtime, Jake would eat a cheese sandwich outside on a bench under a small red maple tree. He would sit there when the weather permitted, and enjoy the tranquility, and his sandwich.
He loved cheese sandwiches, but for the last few weeks, Linda and Anthony had even managed to ruin that.
Today, for the first time in weeks, he ate his with a smile on his face. A plan had begun to grow in his mind on how he might stop the inappropriate behavior between the two.
He had figured out how to get his old life back.
With TJ out of the office, Jake saw the perfect opportunity to set them up, and knock them down.
He began to laugh out loud as he dreamed about them no longer being his problem.
For the first time in a couple of weeks, he wasn’t thinking about masturbating. He would take his full lunch hour and enjoy the weather and not visit the Men’s room stall.