From the beginning, our life was on the fast track with me in college, raising a child, and Chuck dedicated to growing our business. Our lives moved ahead full speed with hardly a minute to spare. For me it was diapers, studying, baby sitters, and maintaining a home. For Chuck, it was long hours of drafting, dealing with contractors and establishing a clientele. The demands on our time increased but we managed to squeeze in personal time together, although it became more and more difficult.

I wish I knew then what I know now about the affairs of the heart. It would have saved a lot of pain. Love is the most precious thing in life. Without it, the human soul flounders. Yet we abuse it and treat it like it is invulnerable. In reality, love is like a garden: it needs to be cultivated, it needs attention. If not, the weeds of doubt, lust and temptation grow and choke the beautiful bloom.

………….

Our early life together was punctuated by as many victories as challenges. In the fifth year of our marriage, I received my undergraduate degree and teacher’s credential. My long arduous hours of studying were now replaced with longer hours of teaching, lesson plans, PTA, and soccer teams. At least I was bringing in a pay check and relieving some of the financial burden Chuck had been carrying.

It was about that time Chuck's architectural business took off. He hired his first employee, Keith. In a short time we were talking about purchasing a home. I was as delighted as a schoolgirl with her first bike.

Then Chuck came to me with a bombshell. He wanted to use my folks wedding gift for us to purchase a plot of land on the beach. I was livid. With that money we could buy a four bedroom house instead a plot of sand. But I know better than anyone how convincing Chuck can be. We bought the lot and he started designing our future custom home.

It was fun to be part of the design and giving my input. Eventually, to accommodate all of what we both wanted, the design grew into a stunning three story, four thousand square foot beauty. We celebrated the approval of the plans and permits about the time our son Brian entered the second grade.

It was about then that I felt the first challenge to Chuck's exclusive love for me. Oh, it wasn't another woman. I could have dealt with a woman. It was something I had no answer to. Chuck renewed his childhood affair with… surfing.

He was up at dawn and, most of the time, I didn't hear him leave. He said the waves were best early. Something about the wind being calmest at sun break. Brian idolizes Chuck and pretty soon I lost my son to this new mistress also. We'd go to bed late, and I'd wake up alone. Our intimacy was being pulled at from all sides. I knew how important the physical relationship was to our marriage, but I felt powerless. 

…………….

It was then I felt the first cracks in the armor of our love. The attention I lacked at home, I welcomed from strangers. I dressed a little more provocatively and found myself liking the attention other men gave me more and more. I don't think Chuck even noticed.

Construction was moving slow because we decided to pay cash for all building materials. Finally, the foundation of our house was poured. I was so excited to see the wall going up, that I could almost jump out of my skin. Chuck's surfing buddies volunteered to help with the construction which was a blessing. It saved us tens of thousands of dollars and all I had to do was make sure the cooler was filled with beer.

I wasn't really objecting to having a bunch of hard-bodied surfers hanging around flirting with me. The eye candy was definitely one of the perks. Plus it doesn't hurt a girl’s ego to be hit on by a bevy of hunks. It certainly was a boost to my libido, of which Chuck was the sole beneficiary. That was the first introduction to me of how outside influences can stimulate our sex life. That is, whenever we found the time, which seemed less and less.

…………….

Our home was nearing completion. The exterior stucco, siding, glass and interior drywall was completed. I finally could be useful by painting much of the interior. All we needed to finish was the flooring, window dressings and cabinets.

Then Chuck presented me with a life changing proposal. I remember, he came to me with a folder in hand.

“Sit down Hun, we need to talk.” He motioned to the dining table.

“What's up?” I asked, sitting down with a raised quizzical eyebrow.

"We are at the point of cabinets. My three proposals vary from ninety thousand to a hundred and ten thousand, for the whole house.”

“Damn! I had no idea. That is expensive. How can we afford that and still pay cash for everything?” I was flabbergasted.

“Bottom line is we can't, without obtaining a mortgage. However, I have another idea.” He pushed the folder at me. I opened it and it was filled with pictures of various machinery.

“What's this?”

“You know I worked in my dad’s cabinet shop when I was young? There is a guy here in town with a cabinet shop going out of business. For twenty five thousand I can buy his whole shop and build my own cabinets. He's got all the equipment and it even has an inventory of hardwood and hardware.”

“But you already have a business.”

“I'm not going into the cabinet business. I just want the shop. We have fifty thousand left in the budget. That gives enough us enough for the shop and materials. What do you think?”

"Hmmm. What do I think? I think I hardly see you the way it is now. What about us? You’re already burning the candle at both ends. When's the last time we made love?” I said, with pleading eyes.

“Don't be silly, we’ll be fine. Once this house is completed we will have an abundance of time together. We can take a cruise or extended vacation and let your Mom watch Brian.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. No worries.”

………….

Without us realizing, our red hot romance had cooled a day at a time. It just kind of slipped under the radar. Not seeing the obvious, I thought it was me. Was I not pretty enough? I had put on a couple of pounds. Maybe I needed to increase my workouts? Or, maybe get my hair cut or something. I was constantly surrounded by people but I never felt so lonely in my life. My very soul was crying out in pain.

I worked out like a woman possessed just to get my husband’s attention. He barely noticed but every other man I came into contact with seemed to. I was being hit on daily. My ego was full but it didn't fill the emptiness inside.

I remember I had my long hair cut. I had grown it my whole life but I had it cut to just below the shoulders. Chuck didn't even notice. I went into the bedroom and cried.

………..

Finally it was move in day. The house was completed. Since we paid for it as we went, there was mortgage to burn. Our son was now in sixth grade. The cabinet shop actually became a business and performed better than the architectural one.

Chuck loves working with his hands. His design skills started to attract more high end customers. Soon he needed to shut down one business. We decided together to expand the cabinet business. We leased a twenty thousand square foot industrial building, along with modern new equipment. It grew from a shop to a factory.

At the same time, our love life was on life support. That promised vacation never happened. Money and success rolled in, but I would have traded it all for our two bedroom flat and the struggles we had in the beginning. We had something so special then. Something money couldn't buy.

…………….

The next few years I call the lost years. They were so routine that they put me to sleep thinking about them. I did get my masters in education and threw myself into teaching with the same dedication Chuck had for wood working.

Brian was about to graduate from high school with honors and would be going away to college. Then, suddenly we were two strangers sharing a bedroom. We didn't realize until Brian was out of the house, just how much we had drifted apart.

…………..

Businesses are living entities that grow and need to be fed. More equipment, more space, more employees, more, more, more. Chuck now employed over a hundred workers and office staff. He spent more time at work and went on business trips, constantly seeking new clients and marketing his products. I wouldn't see him for a week at a time.

Then, what I call the announcement day, came. First, my son phoned and said he was going to marry his girlfriend, because he loved her and… she was pregnant. That threw me. I didn't expect that he was even close to marriage and I wasn't thinking of becoming a grandmother. I was still in my thirties.

Then came the devastating announcement that would turn my life upside down. Chuck came home about eight o'clock and said we needed to talk. I thought he was going to talk about our son. But it was something more life-changing.

“Sit down Carol, we need to talk,” he said, leading me to the couch.

“I agree,” I replied, sitting. Thinking this was about Brian, I added, “You go first.”

He took my hands and looked in my eyes. He was welling up with tears and was struggling for words to say. “Let me say this all before you reply. Okay?”

“Okay,” I was spellbound.

"You know all those trips I was going on in marketing and sales? Well, I wasn't going alone.”

I raised an eyebrow.

He continued, “I took my secretary Rhonda. We had an affair for two months but I broke it off. I'm so sorry, I don't know how it all started, but it is over and I promise that it will never happen again. Please forgive me. I love you and I was wrong. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

My heart popped out of my chest and fell to the floor. My brain went numb. I couldn't speak. I couldn't cry, or shout, or do anything. I was a zombie.

“Carol... say something. Anything. Please.”

My disappointment was so great I had no room for anger. I looked at him. With my face drained of all emotion, I said, “Your Son is getting married. We are going to be grandparents. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed.”

……………..

After that we fought constantly. Eventually, I moved into the guest bedroom to punish him. We were not at a good point. I was wounded but Chuck was repentant. It was about that time Chuck found Jesus. That helped him, but it didn't do shit for me.

Chuck kept trying to make amends but I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me. He was the love of my life and had betrayed me. What was I supposed to do? Act like nothing happened?

Brian's wedding was wonderful for a rushed affair. Becky hadn't started to show yet. She was able to wear my old wedding dress with a few alterations. Our wedding gift mirrored my parents to us. Except, instead of a trip to Paris we gifted them one to Italy. It brought back a flood of memories. Even though my life was shambles, I wanted my son to be happy.

I started going out with my girlfriends, Kathy, Charlene and Meg. They were all divorced. We began by going out for dinner. I'd cry on their shoulders and they would give me some empathy. Nothing more pathetic than a bunch of divorcees sitting around whining. Then, Kathy started planting seeds in my mind by telling me how beautiful I was and how any man would die to have me. She suggested we should go to bars and dance. I love to dance. I mean, what harm can the that be? Right?

We did this a few times and I really enjoyed the attention. Remember, I had not been with any man in my life but Chuck. You might say I was finding my sea legs.

I started to feel beautiful and desirable. I purchased some new dresses that revealed more cleavage and clung in just the right way, displaying my hour-glass figure. I was devious. I would change at Kathy's place and do my make-up there.

This was all so gradual that I didn't see myself becoming what I’d accused Chuck of being.

I was a slut in the making, taking baby steps.

One night when we were out, guys were buying us drinks. The men were flocking to dance with me. Kathy was in a booth making out with some guy and I was dancing with this really handsome young man, named Kenny. He was very good dancer, almost as good as Chuck. Later he invited me to take a walk with him. The restaurant was next to the water at the harbor. I told him I was married holding up my hand. He chuckled, and said it was only a walk. So I agreed.

He bought us a couple strawberry daiquiris and we walked along the harbor boardwalk. After about ten minutes, a jogger came towards us and Kenny took my hand, steering me out of the way. But we continued to hold hands. He made me feel very comfortable.

Our talk became more and more personal. He told me he was here on a defense contract with the navy and had just broken up with an unfaithful fiancé. That opened the door for me to confess my own situation. I poured out my heart.

Here we were, a couple of wounded birds under a full moon. He pulled me to him and kissed me. I didn't resist. It was one of the most passionate kisses I had had in a very long time. With his arm around my waist, he pulled me tighter. I felt his arousal pressing against me. His tongue made love to mine. My head was spinning. Not from alcohol but from the moment. He whispered in my ear, "I want you."

I woke up to what was happening and pushed him away, mumbling, "I can't, I'm married."

I dashed off towards the restaurant. One of my heels caught in the wooden walkway and broke. I took off the other shoe and threw it into the harbor and sprinted away. I could run from Kenny but I could not run from the seed that was planted and growing steadily.

When I got home, Chuck was asleep. I stripped and jumped into bed and fucked him like there was no tomorrow. In fact, it was probably the most wanton I had been in a very long time. It was Saturday so we just stayed in bed and played around until Jerry was pounding on the door to get Chuck to surf. Chuck was in his board shorts in a flash and gone. His first love would always be surfing.

I lay there thinking. I realized my enhanced passion came from my encounter with a stranger and not from my husband. How good it felt to be romanced and wooed. I hadn't felt that much passion since my honeymoon. I was wet just thinking about it. I almost regretted not going with Kenny and fucking his brains out.

Kathy called and asked if I could talk. I said the coast was clear. She wanted to know where I went last night and I told her the whole story. She stated the obvious, that Chuck was the beneficiary of my near indiscretion. I remember she said, "Isn't it Chuck that cheated on you?”

"Yeah, but that was different," I said.

"Different? In what way? Didn't he screw her?"

She was making sense in a twisted kind of way. Yes, he fucked Rhonda, but I've only fucked him. The seed was rooting and was being fertilized by my anger and latent desire for vengeance.

………….

The next couple of weeks, I couldn't take my mind off my encounter with Kenny. Kathy called up and wanted to go out, but things were getting back to normal with Chuck. I thought I’d better cool it. However, she was insistent and I finally agreed. But, I told her, I wanted to go back to the Castaways where I met Kenny. She said that there were too many old folks there, that she wanted to go to the Bandar, a Country Western dive. I told her I didn't have anything to wear. She said she had plenty, and I would fit into her size four.

I told Chuck I was going with Kathy to a country western place and asked if he wanted to come along. He said, “No, but have a good time.” I knew he wouldn’t go as he hates country western.

But I had no clue what was in store for me.

............

I arrived at Kathy's place around seven. She had laid out some outfits. There was a cute blue leather skirt with fringe and a blouse that was white with small blue flowers and gold metal horse shoe buttons. She even had the cowboy boots to match. After I dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. The short skirt showed off my legs and the boots were comfortable, even though they were a half size to big. She suggested some blue tint mascara and eye liner.

When I was done, Kathy said, "Damn girl, you’re hot! Let's go shake some booty."

When we arrived, the club was only about half full and people were trickling in a few at a time. We found a booth just off the dance floor. I hadn't danced the Texas two step for years. An older guy asked me to dance. I declined, saying I just got there and wanted to order a drink first, but to ask me later. The band was setting up for live music that started at nine.

A group of Marines, dressed in fatigues, came in. They were loud and all had crew cuts and acted like they’d already been drinking. It wasn't long until they zeroed in on us. A blond guy with a grin from ear to ear approached us.

"Hey little ladies can we buy you a drink?" He said, looking at me. I estimated he couldn't be any older than nineteen or twenty. I wasn't sure if they would serve them alcohol.

"Sure. I'll have a bud light," I replied.

I normally don't drink beer, but I thought what the hell, I'm in a country bar. He stopped the waitress and ordered a pitcher of Bud. His friends just boldly crowded into our booth. They introduced themselves but for the life of me I can't remember their names except for the first one. His name was Billy.

They explained that they were assigned to a training unit at our local Seabee base. We danced and drank and laughed at silly jokes. I was getting tipsy and excused myself to use the restroom. Beer makes me want to pee.

The woman's restroom was occupied (isn't it always?). I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Billy. He said that I could use the men's room and he would stand outside to ensure I had privacy. I agreed, rather than pee on the floor. I kinda staggered going into the restroom but he caught me around the waist, and whispered in my ear, "I want you."

I replied, "I'm married!"

After I finished, Billy was waiting for me. He took me onto the dance floor. It was a slow dance, a good change from all the line dancing. I must have had a lot to drink as I was stumbling around. He said I was the prettiest thing in the club and wanted to show me a good time. Again, I reminded him I was married. I'll never forget what he replied.

He said, "For Pete’s sake lady, I just wanna fuck you, not marry you." Maybe it was the beers but that seemed hilarious.

When we returned to our booth Kathy was between two guys in a lip lock with one, and the other was boldly feeling her up. I should have grabbed her right there and left, but I sat down. Billy sat next to me and kissed me on the neck. My head was spinning. I knew I’d drunk too much.

Billy’s hands were all over me, and I didn't try to stop him. I guess after he declared his intentions on the dance floor, he took my lack of resistance as a green light.

It was but a couple minutes later that one of the guys with Kathy held up her panties as a prize. Everyone was laughing. Then she sat in this guys lap, with obvious intentions. A manager approached our table with two muscle men in Hawaiian shirts. He said we had to leave immediately. After some shouting and pushing we found ourselves in the parking lot.

We were too smashed to drive and one of the guys suggested we get a motel room next door. I have no idea what was going on in my mind, but that seemed like a real good idea at the time.

It was a real cheap motel room. It needed everything changing: paint, draperies, furniture and it need to be deodorized. It smelled like an ashtray. The room was spinning. Someone turned on the television and put on a porno, which was probably standard fare for a sleazy dump.

Time seemed so skewed. Within minutes Kathy was naked on the bed with a guy vigorously pounding his cock in her. It was hard to distinguish her moans from the porno. I was suddenly being lifted up by many hands and placed on the other bed. My clothes were being pulled at and tossed here and there. I was naked in a flash. It all seemed surreal, like a dream.

Someone rubbed his erection on my cheek. Hands squeezed my breasts. Then my legs were suddenly on this black guys shoulders and a cock penetrated me. I turned my head to see what Kathy was screaming about, and my mouth was instantly filled with hard cock. Kathy was being fucked by two guys at once. I couldn't tell if her moans were pleasure or pain or both.

It seemed as soon as one guy finished with me, he was replaced by another. There were no condoms. Each guy added his seed to the others. It went on for hours with all the guys waiting their turn to fuck me. I started to sober up. With a clear mind, I should have retreated and saved what dignity I had left, but I didn't. Every guy screwed me at least twice and I encouraged them for more. I was filled and covered in cum. They left no hole untouched.

I was such a slutty whore but, to my own surprise, I loved it.

Eventually, they dressed and said they had to get back to base. They each kissed us goodbye and left. Kathy and I just looked at each other, laying on separate beds for the longest time, saying nothing. I mean what could we say?

I was a mixture of feelings. But it’s what I didn't feel that was alarming. I didn't feel guilt, shame or embarrassment for screwing five guys.

I felt justified and vindicated.

………..

It's hard to explain but it didn't feel like true justice was served until Chuck suffered the same way I did. So, after dinner one night, I sat in the den and told him I had been unfaithful. I told him it was with more than one man. He assumed I had several men at different times. I did not tell him it was all at once.

He erupted like a volcano, threw a lamp through a window and screamed all the profanities he knew at me. In all the years I knew him, I'd never seen that side of him. He told me I was a whore and for me to get the hell out of his house.

I stayed with a friend, to let him cool off. A week later at work, I was served divorce papers. I would not sign them. I called every day and messaged Chuck over and over to forgive me, but he wouldn't talk. My heart was in pain. I left a message I was going over to get some of my things at a particular time.

When I showed, a young bikini-clad surfer girl opened the door for me. This little cunt opening the door of my house for me? I know now he invited her over to just stick it to me. I also know that he fucked all kinds of girls while we were separated. But I remained faithful, taking care of my new granddaughter.

A year passed during which we would see each other at family functions and act cordially towards each other. Then, out of the clear blue, he invited me out to dinner to discuss some investment things. I immediately agreed. In fact, there was nothing he couldn't have mailed. It was then I realized it was his feeble attempt to reconcile.

He said he wanted to show me his new furniture. The only furniture I remember was the headboard banging against the wall. He fucked me like a man possessed.

From then on, every time we got together, we ended up in the sack. That brings me up to the present time. He still hasn't told me he forgives me but I think that’s his pride. 

I finally told him about my lost night of sin with the marines. His reaction was not what I expected. He wanted details and has asked me several times to share it again. He even says he wished he was there. Go figure.

I can't redo what has been done but I know now our love is real and, no matter what, I was destined to be with this man.

Our journey has revealed many things about each of us, our sexuality, and the very nature of love. Where are we going from here? I have no clue but we are going together.

To be continued?

Much thanks to Bethany Fraiser for her edit .