Once Drew and Janice were established in the cottage our money-making activities took off in a new direction. Drew said that we could make money hand over fist based on the academic majors of Anthony students. He called a meeting of “the principals.” I looked around and didn’t see any elementary school administrators. I was confused and said so.
“Mark, you’re the number one Principal. In business, Principals are owners and decision-makers. I’m a Principal. Do you agree that it’s fair that Janice is a Principal?”
Absolutely I agreed. She had kept the indexing afloat and ran it all on her own. That’s our biggest source of income. Not only that, she had improved the whole process.
“What about Nate?” I asked. His contribution was significant. Nate disagreed.
“Mark, my contribution might be significant but I am not an owner or a decision maker. All I do is provide a technical service to a Principal. I’m a worker bee.” Nate was firm about being a worker bee.
“OK, Nate, but can we call you a worker gerbil instead?” I asked. “I’m deathly afraid of bees.” Everybody agreed that those who were not Principals would be called worker gerbils.
Drew was running the meeting. “We need to set up a real company with real documented ownership.” I thought this was silly since we were just a bunch of college kids playing with porn.
Valerie spoke up. “You’re a bunch of college kids playing with porn and generating more than a million dollars a year in revenue. That’s a company.”
Drew said he would draw up some business plans for me and Janice to review. And Marcy. Nate Skyped Marcy. When she answered she was sitting in an office with half a dozen people gathered around her desk.
“Video!” she screamed and cut the connection. It had never occurred to us to worry about Marcy seeing a room full of naked people talking about business. Her coworkers might have different ideas, of course.
Nate called back and adjusted the video so all it showed was Drew’s from the navel up. “I don’t think I am ever going to live that one down,” said Marcy. Her entire office had seen us. Oh, well.
Drew talked to Marcy.
“Mark, you’re the number one Principal. In business, Principals are owners and decision-makers. I’m a Principal. Do you agree that it’s fair that Janice is a Principal?”
Absolutely I agreed. She had kept the indexing afloat and ran it all on her own. That’s our biggest source of income. Not only that, she had improved the whole process.
“What about Nate?” I asked. His contribution was significant. Nate disagreed.
“Mark, my contribution might be significant but I am not an owner or a decision maker. All I do is provide a technical service to a Principal. I’m a worker bee.” Nate was firm about being a worker bee.
“OK, Nate, but can we call you a worker gerbil instead?” I asked. “I’m deathly afraid of bees.” Everybody agreed that those who were not Principals would be called worker gerbils.
Drew was running the meeting. “We need to set up a real company with real documented ownership.” I thought this was silly since we were just a bunch of college kids playing with porn.
Valerie spoke up. “You’re a bunch of college kids playing with porn and generating more than a million dollars a year in revenue. That’s a company.”
Drew said he would draw up some business plans for me and Janice to review. And Marcy. Nate Skyped Marcy. When she answered she was sitting in an office with half a dozen people gathered around her desk.
“Video!” she screamed and cut the connection. It had never occurred to us to worry about Marcy seeing a room full of naked people talking about business. Her coworkers might have different ideas, of course.
Nate called back and adjusted the video so all it showed was Drew’s from the navel up. “I don’t think I am ever going to live that one down,” said Marcy. Her entire office had seen us. Oh, well.
Drew talked to Marcy.
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He kept squirming because Janice was under the table sucking on his rod. She inserted a finger in his ass and he squealed. “Mark, ah, can you take over from here?” Drew wasn’t able to say much. Nate turned the camera toward my upper body.
I started talking about us needing Marcy’s help full time. “We’d like you to move here and work for us full time. We” then I hiccupped. Valerie was under the table and my meat was being massaged by her mouth.
Nate moved the camera so it pointed at nothing but his face. “Sorry, honey, but Drew and Mark were called to urgent meetings.” He sped up suddenly. “We’ll hire you full time and pay you good money. We’ll give you some place to live. I’ll send you an e-mail. And for God’s sake’s hurry!” Janice had swallowed Drew’s cum and moved over to Nate. He cut the connection as he gave her a facial.
Marcy quit her temp job two weeks later. I loaned her the money to move to Anthony to become our full time Chief Financial Officer. She and Nate took the other cottage bedroom. We paid her $4,000 a month out of our company account. We no longer used my checkbook and Drew’s.
Marcy did some basic analysis, after which she and Drew changed a bunch of processes. Drew, Janice and I were paid monthly salaries of $4,000. We capitalized the company at $100,000. I put in $76,000, Drew contributed $19,000 and Janice put up $5,000. I loaned her the money. I offered to give it to her and she said “Fuck you.” Well, we’d certainly been there before.
Marcy set up Treasury Stock and gave us a back-of-the-envelope valuation for Liquid Autumn. Forward P/E for the Russell 2000 was about 19.5. By then our next twelve months’ net income was estimated at a minimum of $3 million. Taking a DLOM (Discount for Lack of Marketability; thank God she explained it) of 40% gave us a value of about $35 million.
Our money was easier to follow now and, by the middle of the next semester, we filed an accurate Federal tax return.
Sylvia summed it up for me: “You’re a jerk-off butt-ugly college kid who plays with porn, fucks his girlfriend, sucks his boyfriend’s dick, has sex every week with at least half a dozen different people, and is worth something over $25 million. Ain’t America great?”
I started talking about us needing Marcy’s help full time. “We’d like you to move here and work for us full time. We” then I hiccupped. Valerie was under the table and my meat was being massaged by her mouth.
Nate moved the camera so it pointed at nothing but his face. “Sorry, honey, but Drew and Mark were called to urgent meetings.” He sped up suddenly. “We’ll hire you full time and pay you good money. We’ll give you some place to live. I’ll send you an e-mail. And for God’s sake’s hurry!” Janice had swallowed Drew’s cum and moved over to Nate. He cut the connection as he gave her a facial.
Marcy quit her temp job two weeks later. I loaned her the money to move to Anthony to become our full time Chief Financial Officer. She and Nate took the other cottage bedroom. We paid her $4,000 a month out of our company account. We no longer used my checkbook and Drew’s.
Marcy did some basic analysis, after which she and Drew changed a bunch of processes. Drew, Janice and I were paid monthly salaries of $4,000. We capitalized the company at $100,000. I put in $76,000, Drew contributed $19,000 and Janice put up $5,000. I loaned her the money. I offered to give it to her and she said “Fuck you.” Well, we’d certainly been there before.
Marcy set up Treasury Stock and gave us a back-of-the-envelope valuation for Liquid Autumn. Forward P/E for the Russell 2000 was about 19.5. By then our next twelve months’ net income was estimated at a minimum of $3 million. Taking a DLOM (Discount for Lack of Marketability; thank God she explained it) of 40% gave us a value of about $35 million.
Our money was easier to follow now and, by the middle of the next semester, we filed an accurate Federal tax return.
Sylvia summed it up for me: “You’re a jerk-off butt-ugly college kid who plays with porn, fucks his girlfriend, sucks his boyfriend’s dick, has sex every week with at least half a dozen different people, and is worth something over $25 million. Ain’t America great?”
