July 25, 2014 8:09PM

I fucking hate Tristan Northam. Hate his guts, hate his face, hate that fucking hot body, hate that I can’t really hate him and fucking mean it. Yeah, quite the dilemma I’m in. I had sex for the first time, and not only was it with the last person I thought I would ever hook up with, but it totally bent my ruler. Yep, no longer a straight edge. Am I trying to paint a metaphorical picture of my sexuality? Yes. Am I doing a good job giving a visual? Uh… questionable.

I drove twelve fucking hours to see that asshole and make him realize that his friends needed him, that I needed him, and what does he do? He gives me the best fuck of my life (not that I can compare it to any other experiences) and then he acts like everything we did was all based on the fact that he was horny and needed to dominate my ass—which he did, but that’s beside the point. How the hell am I supposed to deal with all this now? I’ve been in love with Chrissie McAlister since I was ten years old. Not once, did I ever fantasize about another dude. I’ve shared locker rooms with a bunch of naked jocks, and even then, I never felt the urge to cross swords.

Tristan has always been like a shadow in my life. I was the dorky kid that used to play in the woods around his house. Even at that age he was saving me from getting my face pounded in at the hands of Jeremy Fields. Tristan’s always been my hero in that sense. Learning about his secret world of the supernatural and the fact that he is a werewolf, only proves that he really is like this comic book hero. Yes, I used to stay up and read comics under my sheets with a flashlight at night. If I had to pick between Spiderman or Batman, it’s definitely Batman. No… my arachnophobia has nothing to do with it. Okay, maybe a little. Also because Spiderman’s hero suit isn’t as badass as Batman’s. Sure, they both wear tights that are way too tight, which is exactly why they’re called tights… and I’m just going to drop that subject now. Better to move on from that topic before I embarrass myself more.

If it was possible to win an award for annoying one’s self to death, I would win it annually. Okay, now I’m severely depressed because I just realized something. Why the hell would Tristan want to be with someone like me, when it’s so obvious that I’m so deep in the world of loser, it’s impossible to coexist in his reality of everything that is intense and sexy. He was probably being real with me when he said that I was just a fuck to him and nothing more. I guess I should be thankful that he didn’t let me down gently and lead me on.

Whoa. Wait. Wait a fucking minute. He did lead me on. All that talk about wolves finding their mates, and how I was his mate “without any shadow of a doubt.” What the hell am I supposed to make of that? Why would he say that to me? It just doesn’t make sense. As if my life isn’t complicated enough, now it’s just worse. Being gay is not easy. Back in ancient Rome, homosexuality was actually pretty common and accepted. At present, society has come a long way, but there’s still this negative stigma and discrimination. Even if someone doesn’t voice their hate and disgust in your face, they’ll do it behind your back. They’ll be thinking it in their mind. I mean, I’ve been guilty of it. I’ve seen gay guys kissing before, and it wigged me out—not saying I was a homophobe, but it just didn’t look natural to me. My dad’s not shy to voice his opinion about gay men:

“God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

I’m not a religious person, but I’ve always believed in equality for all. Fortunately, my high school’s pretty tolerant. We have a small gay population, including a gay club. I’ve had nearly a year to really reflect on my feelings after that kiss in Tristan’s car. I’ve mathematically analyzed everything, it’s actually pretty friggin’ ridiculous.

Cas + Chrissie= Straight

Cas + Tristan= Gay

Cas + Chrissie + Tristan= Bi

Cas + Chrissie + Tristan + Bed= ménage à trios

Problem 1:

If Cassius sleeps with Tristan Northam, but dates and marries Chrissie McAlister, does that make him gay?

I actually wrote these all down on my wipe board, I’m that much of a loser. Sometimes I just need to visually see things in order to resolve the chaos in my head. Did that tactic help? Nope. It only confused me more.

I still find Chrissie cute as hell. I get nervous whenever she’s around me, and I stammer like a stuttering-Stanley whenever I talk to her. Lame. Completely lame. I’ve never had success with girls. In fact, I had been trying to meditate my way towards a convenient life of asexuality. If you don’t feel the desire to have sex, then you’ll have no problem being alone for the rest of your life. Who needs sex anyway? Not me… nope… definitely not me… definitely, definitely lying to myself. Tristan has ruined me.

I literally vomited my feelings all over him, and now I just feel humiliated. I’ve got no one to talk to. Landon’s my best friend, and he wouldn’t judge me, but it’s not exactly easy to tell someone that the person you slept with finds you repulsive. Ella would sympathize, but it’s not sympathy I’m after. I wish I could erase what happened that weekend. It’s been two weeks and I still cringe in agony every time I remember.

Maybe abandonment is something I should be used to by now. My own mother didn’t love me enough to stay. Maybe I’m the problem. I make people want to run in the opposite direction because I’m cursed. If Landon, Ella, and my dad leave me tomorrow, I really shouldn’t be surprised. I’m just all shades of fucked, and it’s not entirely because of Tristan. People like me don’t deserve to be loved. Why would anyone want me when there are people like Chrissie McAlister and Tristan Northam in the world? Hell, if I was anyone else, I wouldn’t even give me a second glance.

I know I have low self-esteem, but that’s something I’ve made peace with. I thought that if I were to transform into this gnarly stud, I would feel better about myself. I’ve discovered that nothing will change if things don’t change on the inside—and last time I checked, I’m still the same old loser version of myself. So, with that said, biceps or not, six pack or not, I still feel like the lamest person alive.

I should’ve let Tristan turn me last year. That would’ve been the best way to say “fuck you!” to humanity. Why stay human when you can be the coolest animal freak in the world.

I’m pretty much broke after I spent that two grand on the warlock. The dude robbed me. He was lucky I was desperate, otherwise I would’ve forced him to lower his price—like a lot—probably would not have been successful, because let’s face it, I’m really not that persuasive. I’d be the worst salesman, like the kind that would get the door slammed in his face as soon as he’d say, “Good afternoon, sir…”

Okay, I probably wouldn’t even get them to open the door. I hate feeling like a socially conditioned sheep. I wish I was intimidating and powerful like Tristan and Landon. When I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like my face doesn’t match my body, and if my body could run away from me and abandon my soul, my essence, everything that makes my personality, it probably would.

Soul possession. That’s what I need… conjure an incubi to take over and steer for a while. It’ll be like taking a long vacation. A permanent vacation—to Hell. Yeah… scratch that.

Landon’s having a bonfire tomorrow. Tristan’s estate is like the entire wooded area of Howls Grove, so the party will technically be on Northam property. I know for a fact that Tristan won’t be there, but Chrissie will. Ella said she and Jeremy are on a break. This could be my chance to finally hit it off with her. I know I should probably listen to Landon’s advice, but I need to get Tristan out of my system. Chrissie would be the perfect distraction. And if she’s not into me, I’m totally capable of keeping things strictly platonic. Yep, no feelings involved. None at all.

Cassius released an exasperated breath, saved his word document, and exited his online blog before he shut his netbook. His blog was private, with an archive dating back all the way to 2010. It was his digital sanctuary; a place where he could vent and just be himself.

After brushing his teeth, he sank his body on his mattress, switched off the lamp on the nightstand, and listened to the calm quietness. A wolf howled in the distance, reminding him of Tristan.

Cass turned on his side and closed his eyes. He dreamed about masculine hands caressing his body, wet lips crushing against his mouth, and pleasurable penetration that made his brain forget every word in the English language, except for one; Tristan.

*****

Two weeks. Two weeks of isolation, drug binges on Bane, and excessive work outs only led to one extremely distraught and strung up werewolf. Tristan finished his set of push ups and rose to his feet. His body was aching, but he welcomed the pain. He preferred to feel physical pain than to acknowledge his emotional agony. At least the soreness was a distraction. He could still smell Cassius’s scent on his bed and pillows. It gave him comfort and saddened him at the same time, because he didn’t exactly give him a friendly send off. Tristan kicked him out in the cruelest way.

Even though he had washed the sheets several times, his wolf senses were far too heightened to not pick up the faintest trace of Cassius. He was all over that loft, and no amount of cleaning solution would eliminate that intoxicating smell.

Tristan turned off his iPod and walked into the bathroom to shower. He stepped inside the shower stall as soon as he disrobed. The hot water felt good against his aching back, and the pressure was perfect, relaxing his muscles.

He stood under the water and placed his palms against the tiles for a minute. Hot steam clouded around him, as he inhaled the hot air and slowly breathed out. Tristan closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. Graphic images were flickering in his mind, purposely taunting the guardian that concealed all his repressed memories; Cassius groaning, Cassius kissing his neck, Cassius licking his abs before engulfing his manhood in his mouth.

Tristan felt movement down below, as arousal slowly seeped into his thoughts. All he could hear was the sound of Cassius’s shallow breaths against his shoulder while he touched him.

Quick to surrender to impulse, he wrapped his fingers around his throbbing shaft and stroked himself. Tristan tried to focus on all the women he had slept with in the past, but Cassius was stained in his brain and would not be removed. All he wanted was quick release so that he wouldn’t have to think about fucking him.

After five minutes, he blew a load, leaving him with nothing but a burning wrist, and an empty chest.

Tristan finishing washing up, and stepped out of the shower. He dressed himself, cooked a steak, and had dinner in front of the TV with a beer.

You miss him, whispered a voice in his mind.

He turned his head away from the television screen and zoned out.

Turn off the idiot box, grab your keys, and drive back to Howls Grove, that same voice commanded.

He took a deep breath and contemplated his decision. Being away from his pack was really difficult at first, especially being away from Cassius.

Come on. Stop hiding out like a coward. Just check up on the pack. Avoid Cassius if you must.

Tristan clenched his jaw, reaching a split second decision.

“Fuck it.” He got up and headed to his bedroom to get changed before hitting the road.

***** 

The woods had come alive that Saturday, as a body count of a hundred and fifty people partied the night away. Landon, Max, and Drew had created the biggest bonfire ever. There was plenty of food, booze, and single college kids that were ready to mingle and hook up. A DJ was working a set on a table, fading in with a new track, Real by Years & Years.

Cassius had spent an hour trying to decide on what he was going to wear. The last thing he wanted was to fashion a nerdy ensemble and ruin any romantic opportunities with Chrissie. He showed up at the party wearing dark faded jeans, black high top boots, a grey V-neck shirt, and a black hoodie. Landon had taken him to his favorite barber shop and his barber gave Cassius a new haircut. The shorter style really suited the shape of his face. Unlike Landon’s usual soul patch, Cassius was always clean shaven.

He slammed the door of his pickup truck, and walked towards the dancing drunkards.

“Cass!” Ella waved her hand in the air. “You made it!” She abandoned her boyfriend’s side for a moment and gave him a hug. “We started to worry that you weren’t coming. Did you get our texts?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just had some stuff to do for dad before driving over. Hopefully I didn’t miss all the fun.”

“The fun has only just begun.” She grinned, handing him an empty red cup. “Start drinking!”

He socialized with his friends and drank enough liquor to get him buzzing. Fortunately, Jeremy was a no show, which gave him hope because Chrissie was there, and she had given him suggestive glances every time they locked eyes.

“So, are you ever going to tell us where you went that Friday?” asked Landon, sipping a beer, as they hovered near the bonfire.

“I just—needed some space—to think,” Cass replied in his usual awkward way.

“Is there a secret long distance girlfriend we should know about?” Ella teased.

He snorted, shaking his head. “I can’t even get a local girl to want me, I doubt I’d have any luck with chicks who live hundreds of miles away.”

“You’re way too hard on yourself, Cass.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know for a fact that Chrissie likes you.”

“She does?” He sounded shocked to know the obvious truth.

“Chrissie’s wrong for him in more ways than I can even describe,” said Landon. “Don’t encourage my best friend to walk into a widow’s web.”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Chrissie’s my best friend. Don’t say those things about her. Jeremy was the bad influence. They’re not together anymore. Give her a chance.”

Landon didn’t want to give her a chance because Chrissie had tried to sleep with him at a party last year, and at that time she was still dating Jeremy, and he was with Ella. None of that seemed to matter to Chrissie though.

“Ask her to dance!” Ella encouraged.

“I can’t dance,” said Cassius.

“Oh, come on. Anyone can dance. Look at her, she’s practically begging you to ask her.”

“You think?”

“Cass, I’m a girl. I know female body language.”

Landon wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her neck in a really sexual way. “Can you interpret that kiss?” he murmured in her ear.

Ella giggled and kissed his lips. “You are so naughty.”

“All right.” Cassius sighed. “I’m going to get my ass over there and ask her to dance, because I’m tired of being a third wheel around you two sex freaks.”

“Hey, it’s not like we ask you to watch us fuck.” Landon laughed.

“No, but your constant eye-fucking is enough.” Cass finished his drink and tossed his empty cup behind him. “Wish me luck, troops.”

“Go get her, champ!” Ella cheered.

Don’t stutter like a loser, don’t stutter like a loser. He kept repeating that mantra to himself, as he walked up to the blonde beauty. She was wearing a denim skirt, red tube top, and silver flip flops. Her straightened locks were styled to the side over her left shoulder. Chrissie’s makeup was always dark, accentuating her blue eyes. She flashed a pleasant smile when Cassius approached.

“Hey, Chrissie.” He immediately shoved his hands in his pockets. It was a nervous habit.

“Hey, Cass.” She sipped her drink and waited for him to strike up some conversation.

“So, I was standing over there, and I couldn’t help but notice how amazing you look tonight.”

Standing over there? Lame, lame, lame, he silently scolded. Give up now before you humiliate yourself even more.

Chrissie giggled and flirtatiously touched his arm. “Why, thank you.”

Ask her to dance, doofus.

“I like this song. Do you like this song?” He nodded his head with the music “It’s a good song.”

Chrissie giggled some more.

“Me too.”

Actually, this was the first time he had ever heard of them.

“I especially love this song, Intro. It’s from their album xx. Do you have it?”

“Yes, yes I do.” He lied.

“What’s your favorite song?”

Oh crap.

“Uh, my favorite song…” Cassius scratched his head, somewhat panicking. “Well, you know, I really don’t have a favorite song. The band is so amazing that I love all their tracks.”

“Seriously? Everyone has to have a favorite song. Come on.”

She was expecting a detailed answer, and he was so screwed.

“I like that song—Missing You.”

Hopefully that’s generic enough to be accurate, he thought.

“That song isn’t even on the album.”

“Uh, that’s because it’s unreleased. I’m such a diehard fan that I hunted down a leaked track that’s supposed to debut on their next album.”

“Whoa, no way!” Her eyes glimmered. “Do you still have the song? You should send it to me.”

“Yeah, it’s on my computer. I’ll dig it up and email it to you when I get home.”

Liar, liar…

“You’re the best!” She hugged him and he managed to find enough confidence to ask her to dance.

*****

Ella was happy to see that Cassius had hit it off with Chrissie. They were dancing together and he wasn’t a bad dancer at all.

“I wish Cass could be more confident in himself,” she said to her boyfriend.

“He’s always had self-esteem issues. I think it’s because of his mom walking out on him. Kind of messed with his head.”

“That’s so horrible.”

He wrapped his arms around Ella’s waist from behind and held her close. “I would never abandon the people that I love. I’ll never abandon you.”

She smiled, feeling so grateful to have such a loving guy by her side. “I’ll never abandon you either, Landon.”

He kissed her neck, stopping when she asked, “Do you think Tristan will ever come back?”

“I don’t know. It’s been almost a year, and I still haven’t heard from him. I stopped trying to contact him after six months of silence.”

“I just wish he could have told us why he was leaving. Not that I’m complaining about you being Alpha, but it’s just so strange. He always talked about how a strong pack should always stay together. Tristan leaving town for good is just so not like him.”

“You know how the rules are, babe. Never question an Alpha.”

She was a werewolf. She knew.

“I challenge you a lot though.” Ella turned around and snaked her arms over his shoulders. “And I think you like it.”

“Only in the bedroom.” He smirked, kissing her.

The two of them were happy and in love. There was no doubt that Landon wanted Ella to be the mother of his “pups” one day. Wedding bells were certainly in their near future.

***** 

As the evening progressed, a black Mustang pulled to the side of the gravel path and parked behind a silver Honda Civic. The engine switched off, as the driver’s door opened, revealing a black SUPRA shoe that looked brand new. Tristan stepped out of his car, and shut the door, auto-locking it before he started down the path, headed towards the bush party. He was dressed in dark jeans, and a navy blue shirt, looking like his usual flawless self.

The DJ was playing a song by Tourist, I Can’t Keep Up. The sound waves were echoing everywhere, as Tristan walked past a crowd of people, sniffing out members of his pack. Drew, Max, and Scarlet were close by, but they didn’t see him.

“Tristan?”

He stopped walking and slowly turned around.

Landon wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating or actually looking at his former pack leader. “Dude, where the fuck have you been?” He walked up to him and touched his shoulder to make sure he wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

Tristan looked at his hand, and then met Landon’s brown eyes, signalling the fact that he did not want to be touched.

“Sorry.” Landon withdrew. “I just… I’m surprised.”

Tristan still didn’t respond. He impassively stared at Landon.

“What are you doing back in town?”

Ella was now at her boyfriend’s side, looking just as shocked as he was to see Tristan standing there. She hugged him and bombarded him with questions before she expressed that she was relieved that he was okay.

Drew, Max, and Scarlet surrounded the trio, as the remainder of the pack followed suit. Even though Landon was their Alpha, he had not attained that position through challenging Tristan and killing him. He was only a substitute. If Tristan told them all to jump, they would say, how high. He still had that authority over the pack, but he never abused it.

“Look, I just came back to see how you were all doing. I’ve been living in New York. I had some business I needed to take care of, and I had to do it alone.”

Right, shooting up alone for the past six months, his conscience spoke truth.

“Why did you keep it from us and hide your scent?” asked Scarlet.

“Do you even realize that we’ve been worried out of our minds?” said Ella.

“I know, and I’m sorry. But it was my decision to make.”

“So, does this mean you’re here to stay and I no longer have to lead these guys?” Landon was hoping he would say yes.

“Hey, we’re not that bad,” said Drew.

Xander and Carrey laughed.

“No, I’m driving back to New York on Monday.”

“So, you’re never coming back?” Xander questioned.

“I’m here right now, aren’t I?”

Landon folded his arms in his chest. “I just don’t understand why you’re being so secretive.”

Tristan quirked an eyebrow at him in annoyance.

“Can you just tell us that your life is not in danger,” said Carrey. She was a pretty redhead with bouncing curls and green eyes.

“My life’s not in danger.” Tristan reassured. “Now, this is a party, right? Go—frolic, have a good time.”

“Is that an order, Alpha Northam?” Scarlet sounded flirtatious.

He smirked at her and took the bottle of beer that Xander handed him. “I need to talk to Landon alone.”

His pack members obediently nodded and left.

“What’s up?” asked Landon.

Tristan was about to speak, when someone caught his eye in the distance. He was dancing real close and intimately with an attractive blonde that looked familiar, yet he couldn’t remember her name.

“Tristan?” Landon looked behind him to see what had gotten his attention. “I tried to keep him away from her. You know Cassius, he does what he wants, even if he has to learn the hard way.”

Tristan couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“Dude, you’re not unto Chrissie, are you?” Landon chuckled.

“What?” He snapped out of it, frowning. “She’s not my type.”

“What’s your type?”

Tristan intensified his gaze. “Not teenage girls who don’t know the first thing about being in a serious relationship.”

“So, you’re all about the monogamy deal.” Landon grinned. “Interesting.”

“No. I’m not. When was the last time you saw me dating anyone?”

Landon was unresponsive.

“Exactly.” Tristan swigged back the beer and forced himself to look away from Cassius.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I’m writing you into my will.”

“Don’t be so morbid. You’re not going to die.”

“Landon, I’m serious. You know an Alpha’s life is always in danger. Any Beta could challenge me, and if they succeed in ending my life, then I want to make sure I have someone who I can trust with my estate and finances. The last thing I want is the government getting their greedy hands on everything my parents worked hard for.”

Landon knew that Tristan was talking serious.

“That’s why I came back. I’m seeing my attorney tomorrow. All my blood relatives are dead. I trust you with—” He stopped abruptly, his eyes glowing, as he glared off in the distance.

“Dude, you all right?”

Tristan said nothing, as he took quick strides towards Cassius.

“I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” Jeremy shouted. “Get your hands off my girl!”

“Jer, stop! We’re not dating anymore!” Chrissie cried out. She tried to pull him away from Cassius before he knocked him out.

“I’m going to put you in the hospital, Corinthos.” He was about to throw a punch, when someone grabbed him by the back of his jacket, and threw him down on the ground.

Jeremy felt the wind get knocked out of him, as Tristan towered above with murder in his eyes.

“If you don’t get your punk ass out of here, you are going to be the one who ends up in a hospital—and here’s the kicker,” Tristan smiled sardonically, “you won’t wake up.”

Jeremy was always frightened of Tristan. His legs trembled, as he got to his feet and backed away.

Tristan didn’t remove his death glare until the teen disappeared.

Chrissie was fussing over Cassius by the time he turned around.

Emerald locked on hazel, as both men stared at one another. And then Cassius reacted in a way that Tristan wasn’t expecting.

“You didn’t have to interfere! I could’ve handled him.” He sounded angry.

Chrissie’s cellphone suddenly rang. She checked the caller ID and excused herself.

Cassius started walking in the opposite direction, but Tristan caught up and stopped him.

“He was going to hurt you.”

“I didn’t learn martial arts for nothing. I don’t need Tristan Northam fighting my battles for me.”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Yeah, well, you did. And now I’m probably back on Chrissie’s loser list.”

Tristan rolled his eyes, folding his arms in his chest.

“And so what if he was actually going to punch me? Why would you even care? Getting a black eye is better than what you did to me.”

He could hear the hurt in his undertone, even though Cass did well to mask the emotion.

“Don’t worry, I won’t spill any details about that night out here in the open—wouldn’t want to embarrass you,” Cass said with resentment. He walked away from Tristan again.

The Alpha felt so conflicted. He didn’t want to confuse Cassius and make him feel like he was toying with his feelings.

Go after him, his subconscious whispered, yet he remained motionless.

***** 

It was almost two in the morning when Cassius opened his bedroom door. As soon as he flicked on the light, he gasped in fright.

“Jeezuz, you scared me.” He breathed out.

Tristan was sitting in his armchair, waiting for him. His face was expressionless, and his eyes looked a bit glassy and intense. “I’m sorry.” He stood up.

Cassius removed his hoodie and folded it over his desk chair. His bedroom was painted in black, grey, and navy blue. There were posters on his walls and trophies on his book shelves (mostly academic achievements).

“What are you doing here?” He kept a safe distance away from the wolf, winding his arms against his chest.

Tristan took a step forward and slid his hands in his pockets. “I came to talk.”

“Look, if you’re worried I’m going to say anything about—”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

Cassius watched him intently, as he paced around the bedroom.

“That night when you showed up at random—what we did… it can’t happen again.”

“And you felt the need to break into my bedroom to tell me something I already knew?” He looked irritated.

“I didn’t mean to lose my temper.”

“It wasn’t just losing your temper, Tristan.” Cassius took off his shirt and tossed it in the laundry basket.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? Getting ready for bed.” He walked into his bathroom and turned on the tap.

Tristan stood still, silently fighting with himself as he watched Cassius brush his teeth. The only reason why he showed up was because he was high, which weakened his ability to stay guarded and isolate himself.

He collapsed on Cassius’s bed and shut his eyes.

A few minutes later, Cass switched off the light in the bathroom and walked out. He paused and wondered if Tristan had fallen asleep.

“So, you invade my room just so you can crash here?” He playfully teased.

Tristan opened one lazy eye. “Your mattress is comfortable.”

“Are you going to get all territorial and claim it as yours? Because if so, at least get me a new one. I blew off all my money just to find you.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yeah, well, it’s too late for take backs. What’s done is done.” Cassius felt a bit uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure what Tristan wanted and why he was being so laid back all of a sudden.

“Come lie next to me.”

Did I hear him correctly? Cassius wondered, hesitating to move.

“Come on, Cass. Don’t make me beg.”

“I wouldn’t mind you begging, actually.”

Tristan rolled his eyes. “You’re taking me out of it.”

“Out of what?”

“Out of the moment.”

“What’s in the moment?”

Tristan grew aggravated, as he sat up and got off the bed. “All right, I’m out of here—not going to play twenty-one questions with you.”

“Wait.” Cassius grabbed his arm, feeling a volt of electricity flow through his body upon contact. “I’m sorry.” He exhaled. “Don’t go, please.”

As angry as he was at him, he didn’t want him to leave.

Tristan met his eyes, and for a second, he was able to see the anguish that hid within them. Impulsively, he closed the space between them, reached towards Cassius’s face, and kissed him softly.

Cass couldn’t understand why Tristan was being so affectionate all of a sudden, especially after all the things he said to him last time, but he didn’t pull back until Tristan did. He watched the Alpha lie back down on the bed and smile.

“You have no idea how amazing this feels.”

“I wasn’t aware my lips could do that.”

Tristan’s mouth curved upwards in an attractive way. “I wasn’t referring to the kiss.”

“There you go giving me false hope again.” Cassius sat down on his bed and let his weight fall back. “Tristan, I don’t understand this.” He turned on his side and looked into his emerald eyes.

“I don’t either—but do we need to understand it right now?”

Cassius remained silent.

“Fuck, Cass, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

Before he could say anything else, Tristan crushed his lips against his and kissed him slow and sensually.

I can’t be doing this, but I can’t stop, he said to himself.

His kiss grew more heated, and Cassius eventually pulled back for breath. His chest heaved up and down as he stared at Tristan who was beyond aroused.

“Are you staying in town or going back to New York?”

Tristan let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re killing the mood, Cass.”

“I need to know.”

“I’m leaving on Monday.”

Cassius immediately got up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m not going to do this with you again. Not after the way you treated me last time.”

Tristan glared at him and rose to his feet. “You know, you’re the only person who challenges me so much.”

“Yeah, and I bet that’s something you’re not used to. I’m a person, not one of your obedient dogs.”

“What do you want me to tell you, Cassius?” His tone took on a razor edge. “That I came back for you because I can’t get you out of my head? That I’ve been fantasizing about you sucking my cock all night? Or maybe you want a sappy declaration of love, in which case you can keep on dreaming.”

“See, you’re doing it again. Pulling me in and pushing me away. Why are you even here!” he shouted.

“Isn’t it fucking obvious! Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

“Actually, yes, you just might have to.” Cassius was upset, but he wasn’t backing down.

Tristan looked distressed. He was about to say something in all sincerity, but changed his mind. “Fuck this, and fuck you.”

“Great, real mature, Tristan! Remind me why you’re an Alpha again because—”

Within a blink of an eye, the werewolf was gone. He made a quick getaway through the window before his temper got the best of him. Cassius was left alone in his room, half hard, half pissed, disappointed, and suddenly empty.

Saturn Boy, by Dream Koala played on in the background, as the wind blew through the curtains. Tristan’s cologne lingered in the air and all over him. He was still so confused and Tristan wasn’t making it any easier on him.

***** 

TO BE CONTINUED

Author’s Note: This story is meant to have sarcastic humor elements to it. Just pointing that out.