I was in my late twenties when I had my first thoughts of sex with guys. I knew I wasn't completely gay as I enjoyed sex with girls too much, but I was more and more attracted to thoughts of sex with men and in particular giving oral. I was keen to find out how it felt and I had noticed that the girlfriends I had seemed to enjoy giving blow jobs and I was intrigued to find out why.
It took me a couple of years to dip my toe in the water. I'd just moved to London into a flat of my own and was feeling quite free and up for an adventure. Back then, pre-internet, the way to find sex hookups was through classified ads in local newspapers so I replied to a few and finally managed to arrange a one to one with another bi guy through an ad in Time Out. We met up in a pub near where I lived and very quickly went back to my flat. I had already let him know in our initial chats that I was particularly interested in giving oral but I had not let on that this would be my first time. I thought this might put him off and he might think I'd be a 'no show'.
I was mega nervous and as we sat and chatted over a glass of wine I had no idea how to progress things. I was terrified that the whole thing would just peter out or that we would get so pissed nothing would happen.
I decided I had to act and be bold and had a brainwave. I made an excuse to leave the room and went through to my bedroom, stripped completely and returned naked (I felt it was easier to act rather than speak). I stood, smiling and in a sort of cheesy pose in front of the gorgeous guy and said 'ok, what do you think?'
He stood up, put his arms around me and started to stroke me all over. Shoulders, arms, back, buttocks, arse crack then cock and balls. I was instantly in ecstasy. Those few minutes started a lifelong liking of being naked in the company of clothed people, be they male or female. It gives me a deliciously vulnerable feeling.