I can’t find Mia. She was the one who convinced me to come to this party — a fraternity rager on the night before our school’s biggest game of the year. Now, without her, I hardly know anyone else, and I wonder why I let her talk me into this.

The only other person I know is Jason, who has just passed out in the pool. Meaning, I literally saw him close his eyes and fall into the water. He barely woke up when some other guys pulled him out. Jason seems to be a pretty good barometer of how this party is going. People are getting very drunk very fast.

I have only really talked to one other person in the three hours since Mia, and I pulled up in her yellow VW Bug with eyelashes over the headlights. That’s Mia — the girly one, the flirty one, the one who can walk into a room and own it, make friends with everyone, and feel not one ounce of self-consciousness. I admire her for that. Part of me wishes I could be a little more like her. I find her confidence reassuring, and I think I hang out with her and room with her because I hope, somehow, magically, it will rub off on me.

It’s not that I’m a wallflower. In fact, I’m pretty social in some settings. Around Mia, or around the other girls in our org, I’m downright bubbly. Our org (that’s what we call student organizations at NC State) is a STEM club for women. We’re the smart girls, kicking ass at math and engineering competitions and, hopefully, making life easier for future female engineers.

But this party is not a STEM club. It’s a drunken free-for-all — the kind of scene where I feel out of my element. So, I have mostly sat on the edge of the pool, kicking my legs in the water and sipping a mojito I had been nursing for an hour when Theo found me.

Theo is the one person who had a real conversation with me tonight. He actually sat next to me and acted interested in me. He introduced himself, asked about me, and gave me a high-five when he heard about the STEM org. About five minutes into my description of our last math competition, I realized I was prattling on like a nervous moron, but when I stopped, Theo asked another question. I realized he was focused on me, not looking over my shoulder for someone else to talk to. He smiled, and little dimples appeared above his square, stubbled jaw. I wriggled out of the conversation about STEM and fluttered my feet in the water, feeling the weight of his blue eyes on me.

I asked about him: a senior, graduating in May with a degree in marine biology. He said he belonged to the frat hosting the party, but he said it apologetically, as if sensing it wasn’t exactly my scene. His wavy black hair covered the tops of his ears. He wore a white tank top that hugged his broad shoulders and heavy, smooth chest. His big hands pressed against the pool coping next to his thighs, and I noticed the muscle on the back of his arm. Why does a person need a muscle there, I wondered. What was that even for? What could he do with it?

His knees poked out from under red swim trunks. He had a tattoo around one ankle — a ring of laurels, or possibly seaweed. My gaze meandered over him, and then I realized I was ogling, and he was watching. When my eyes returned to his, he smiled again, obviously aware of my thoughts, but kept talking as if not to embarrass me.

Over the thump of the music and the laughter of the party, he told me about the job he had lined up. Something about sea turtles. But I had stopped listening. I let my eyes move over him again. Strong, young, supple, controlled. His body looked like it could pick me up and throw me across the pool or gently rock me to sleep. I knew he was watching me examine him, but I stopped caring. This was the most fun I'd had at this party so far. I was going to enjoy it.

He finished with a laugh — something I was supposed to have heard and found amusing. I smiled at his eyes.

Then, with a grin that showed he knew exactly what he was doing, he said it was my turn and asked about my career plans.  I started slowly, unsure whether my ambition to work for NASA would sound embarrassingly nerdy or naively optimistic. But it didn’t matter because he wasn’t listening any more than I had been.

I’m not ashamed of my body. I’m bigger than many of my friends — taller and thicker — but I’m shaped like a woman. There’s a feminine waist between my curvy hips and my 36 DD boobs. On dating apps, I confidently check the box for “hourglass shape.”

Sometimes, I even tease Mia about my curves. Mathematically, I’m the sexier one. My measurements are 36DD-25-36. Hers are 32B-24-31. I know because we measured each other once. That was last semester. We got a little drunk and a little silly, and Mia took a long time to measure my bust. It almost seemed like she was feeling me up. But the results were conclusive. If you crunch the numbers, including our boobs, I have 26 total inches of curve in my figure. Mia only has 17.

I remind her of that often, pretending that I’m the one men really want. We both know that’s not true. Mia is … well, she’s gorgeous. Blonde, skinny, big blue eyes, pouty lips, smooth tawny skin. I can see why guys can’t take their eyes off her. To be honest, sometimes I can’t either.

But Theo wasn’t looking at Mia. He was looking at me. He took me all in. Knowing he had to make no pretense about things since I hadn’t, he slowly scanned my flowing red hair, my green eyes, my chest, the tantalizing line of cleavage visible atop my V-necked shirt, the hug of that shirt against my waist, my hips, and my long legs moving lazily in the water. When he finished, and his eyes returned to mine, I fluttered my eyelashes at him and bit my lip.

“I’m sorry; what were you saying?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

He looked at my tits again, and I put my hands behind me on the deck and pressed them forward. He smiled.

“NASA would be lucky to have you,” he said, showing that he had heard at least some of my boring story.

Just then, there was a crash. Someone had broken something in the house, no doubt too drunk to walk. Theo rolled his eyes. But then, someone came shouting, and one of his frat brothers came out, yelling for Theo and asking for the first aid kit.

“I’m sorry. I’m kind of the adult in the house. I’ve gotta ... “

“Yes. Go!” I smiled. “Someone is hurt, silly.”

“I’m glad you came tonight.” And he was gone.

The shouting died down. Clearly, the injuries weren’t serious. I turned back to look at my feet in the water and realized I was breathing quickly. I smiled. We had only talked for a few minutes, but Theo really had an effect.

Then, still coming to my senses, I realized just how much of an effect. I moved my legs to splash in the water and felt a slippery warmth between my upper thighs. I sighed, smiled, and decided the party wasn’t so bad after all.

I found Mia shortly after that, getting another mojito, and dutifully reported that I had flirted with someone. She squealed and hugged me, told me I looked hot in my pleated skirt, and encouraged me to go for it, whatever that meant.

She was plainly enjoying the party and the attention of several guys who barely let us talk at all before trying to get to her. As one of them begged her to come watch him do something sophomoric and slightly dangerous, she took my hand and kissed my cheek. “Isn’t this fun? Go have fun!” And then she bounced away into the party.

That was around 11 pm. It’s now after midnight, and the euphoria of flirting with a hot guy has worn off. I haven’t seen Theo again and when I tried to talk to other partyers, they have all been too drunk or too rude for much conversation. I’ve decided it’s time to grab Mia and go home. But finding her is now a problem.

I check every place in the house where kids are partying — the living room, kitchen, ridiculous formal dining room, and the media room where several couples are making out and watching porn. I check outside, in and out of the pool, and even in the bushes where at least one partier is passed out. No Mia anywhere, but her car is still on the curb outside.

I head upstairs where it’s quieter, away from the party noise and music. It’s also dark and clearly not meant to be part of the party zone. At the top of the stairs, a long hallway leads the length of the house, with doors on either side. Dim light escapes from under one of the doors near the end of the hallway. Unsure whether I should be there, I whisper, “Mia?” And walk down the hall.

There are soft voices coming from the room with the light. I tiptoe toward it and put my hand on the knob. I crack it open silently and peek inside. The image I’m hit with is one I may never forget.

The first thing I see is Theo’s bare chest, which looks brawny and forms the top of the V-shape of his torso. At the bottom of the V, his hip bones frame a muscled abdomen plunging down to — I just catch a glimpse of it — a heavy, hard, heart-stopping dick.

Then the dick disappears from view because Theo has hidden it inside the taut, young body of…Mia!

She lies on her back, her head toward me and her skinny legs in the air, adding another V to the one formed by Theo’s body between them. Her naked body appears alluringly feminine and entirely open. Her legs are spread. Her hair is splayed across the bed. Her mouth is open. Even her perky tits have slipped apart, wobbling atop her torso.

She is watching Theo — we both are — who is standing next to the bed, eyes closed, using long, languid strokes to fuck her.

The room is lit with one soft lamp. A puffy comforter and pillows lie on the floor where they’ve been tossed aside. No one else is around. The scene is tender and raunchy, comforting and exciting, safe and exhilarating.

Mia’s back arches off the bed, accentuating her feminine shape, and a little moan of pleasure escapes from her. “Ohhh.”

I see all of this in a flash — a nanosecond — and I quickly pull my head back and close the door. Wide-mouthed and wide-eyed, I lean my back against the wall in the hallway and try to process what I saw. The image is frozen in my brain. So much skin. Muscle. Shape. Curves. Power. Beauty. Delight.

I try to process my feelings. There is arousal — a lot of that. But also something like wonder. And maybe some jealousy, but of whom? Neither of them owes me any sexual loyalty. I have only just met Theo. I wonder if Mia has just met him, too, but it had been easier for her to close the deal. I realize I am not so much jealous of her as jealous of both of them. Jealous that they get to be the kind of people who meet at a party and have gorgeous, sensual sex at the drop of a hat.

All of this flashes through my head in a matter of seconds, but it’s long enough for my body to respond. I realize I am touching myself — my hand under my skirt and rubbing the front of my panties.

I forget about the emotions and the relationships, and my brain returns to the image of my roommate being expertly fucked by a hunk on the other side of the door. I can feel my own heat and wetness through my panties. I realize that I have just seen possibly the two most attractive people I have ever met naked with each other, and I desperately want to see more.

Instinctively, without considering any consequences, I crack open the door again and peek inside.

They have changed positions. Theo is on his back now, his body a bumpy pile of muscle on the bed. Mia is between his legs, holding his long, lovely cock so that it points at the ceiling. Laying across the bed sideways, I can see his lean body and the look of intense desire between their eyes as she licks the tip of his member. I watch and rub myself.

Then, there are voices down the hall. Someone else is coming upstairs. I’m trapped. Without thinking, I slip into the room and softly close the door. Theo is moaning as Mia is taking more of him into her mouth. Surprisingly, neither of them notices me. They are engrossed in each other.

Until someone knocks on the door.

I jump in surprise and feel the door bump against my back. I lean against it. A voice comes through the door. “Rachel? Rachel in there?”

Theo and Mia are looking my way. I can’t speak. With wide eyes, I just shake my head and mouth, “I’m sorry.”

“Rachel?” Thumping against my back.

Mia smiles. Theo shouts, “Rachel’s not here, bro. Go away! I’m trying to sleep!”

Footsteps retreat down the hall. I’m able to exhale for a moment, but then I realize how awkward this is and, frankly, how perverted I must seem — spying on my roommate having sex.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “So sorry. I didn’t mean to um— intrude.”

Theo has lifted himself onto his elbows, his stiff cock still in Mia’s hand. He says, “Mia, this is Kate. I met her earlier. Kate, this is Mia. We’re... “

Mia laughs, and it makes me relax. I smile.

“Oh, you guys know each other already?”

“We’re roommates,” Mia says.

“The two hottest girls at the party live together?” Theo smiles, clearly enjoying the moment and not at all modest about the meaty member in Mia’s hand, which I can’t seem to look away from.

Mia registers something and says, “Oh! Mia, when you said you flirted with a guy…”

“Yep,” Theo and I say in unison.

Mia lets go of the dick, which Theo and I both register with some disappointment.

“Oh, sweetie!” She says, sitting up. “I wouldn’t have— I didn’t mean to steal him— I…”

“No,” I take a step forward to reassure her. “You didn’t know, and plus, he’s fair game. You just beat me to him.”

Theo smiles at this.

I point to the door behind me but take a step toward them anyway. “I should— I’ll go and leave you two—“

“Don’t go,” Mia says. “You should have this. This is all yours,” she motions toward the naked man. “He flirted with you first.”

“I can’t— You can’t just walk away. Look at you,” I say, looking at her naked body.

“Rachel!” The voice is in the hall again.

Theo springs out of bed and reaches for the door. He looks for a lock, but there doesn’t seem to be one. He shouts through the door, “She’s not up here, man! Be quiet out there!”

Then he picks up a chair from the corner, his muscles rippling and his cock swinging out in front of him, and wedges it against the door.

As he does, I step back out of his way, and I feel Mia’s hand on my shoulder. She pulls my ear toward her and whispers, “I have an idea.”

Her breath on my ear makes me giggle and I turn to face her and see that her eyes are alight with something wondrous and mischievous.

“What?” I say, thickly.

“You know. You had to think of it, too.”

Theo is ramming the chair in place.

“I don’t— You mean—“

“Let’s share him.” As Mia says this, she brushes the hair off my neck, and I feel instantly dizzy. Somewhere in the back of my mind, since the moment in the hallway when I had recognized my own jealousy, the idea of a threesome has been niggling around. But I haven’t brought myself to imagine it clearly. For Mia to acknowledge it — say it out loud — makes me feel as if I’m falling, drifting, carried along by some force stronger than Theo’s biceps and more alluring than Mia’s hips.

My mind reaches for some answer based on categories that don’t seem to matter. Am I gay? Or bi? Do I have to be? Does Mia want me, or is she just being polite? Is this right? Is this what smart girls do? Normal, healthy girls who aren’t trashy? Will anyone know? Will I ever have a chance like this again?

Theo turns from his work, and I see his cock again, surprised that I had momentarily forgotten about this presence. Something feels inevitable.

Mia giggles behind me, and Theo walks toward me, and I’m reeling with confusion and desire and fear and wonder, being pulled down into an abyss of the unknown until my head is on the bed and my knees are spreading, and the waves of Theo’s black hair are dipping out of view between them and I feel my wet panties pulled aside and Mia’s lips against my ear and a tongue inside me and my heart pounding and a slender hand on my chest and “I’ve wanted to do this with you for a long time.”

I struggle for consciousness, grasping at the last chance to make a lucid decision before the wave of animal desire takes me under. I turn my face to Mia, whose blue eyes are kind and hopeful. My reservations are reflected there, taxonomized, and exposed.

There’s something wrong with this; something dirty…

There’s something wrong with me; I’m not pretty enough for this…

There’s some kind of preparation I’ve missed; a moment in seventh-grade health class when I tuned out…

As I see those objections on Mia’s face, I see how ridiculous they truly are, and they melt into her blue eyes, and she leans forward and kisses me. I tell myself, “This is what you want, Kate. You want it more than you know. Go for it.” And I kiss her back.

Thus given over, I become aware of an intense thrumming desire welling up from my core. Theo has brought his fingers to bear along with his tongue, and my crotch is warming with radiating pleasure. My kisses with Mia are interrupted by gasps and little squeals and whispers of, “He’s so good at this.”

Mia manages to help me wriggle out of all my clothes, and Theo raises up between my legs, his handsome rod showing its excitement. Mia reaches for it and aims it at my pussy. I feel Theo penetrate me and feel Mia’s touch against my tender skin at the same time, and I crest into a rolling swell of indulgence. Theo fucks me while Mia teases my clit, and an orgasm races toward me like a runaway train.

I grab for something to steady me, catch hold of Mia’s shoulder, and shake fast and hard in a crescendo of delight. “Oh fuck! Yes!”

My pleasure pours out around Theo’s thick cock which he keeps pumping into me as my climax lasts for long, dizzying moments.

Theo and Mia both bend to kiss my panting face and we share a moment of smiling playfulness, our tongues touching and my heaving breaths announcing our first wave of success.

“I want to taste you,” Mia says and Theo seems to catch her meaning. He lays down and she returns to the position I found them in. I watch her kiss his cock, now sparkling with my juices, and lick the remnants of me off him.

Still recovering, I decide to join her and we share Theo selflessly — feeding him to one another, playing our tongues over his tip, coordinating our motions, and sucking on his balls. He grunts and moans his approval and can hardly keep his eyes open when we look up at his face, adoringly.

I take charge of the cock, crowding Mia out briefly, and press it between my breasts. Theo gasps and says, “Fuck you have amazing tits” while I move back and forth, a little awkwardly because of the position, but feeling more sexy than I have in a long time.

Exhibiting admirable control, Theo pulls away and moves around behind us, both of us now on our knees and elbows. He fondles my wet pussy lips which are peeking out from between my thighs while he gives Mia the pleasure he has just given me. She gasps at his girth and then settles into his rhythm, letting him stretch and fuck her hard.

Her body jolted by the ramming, Mia smiles at me and pats the bed in front of her. Through petite, breathless squeals, she says, “I want to taste you again.”

I move in front of her and spread my legs and Mia licks and kisses me lovingly while Theo plows her from behind.

I lay back and take in the scene. Mia looks happy making out with my snatch. Her skinny back and narrow waist are smooth and lovely. Behind them, Theo’s muscled torso is captivating once again, flexing and undulating. The sight stirs me again and Mia’s suckling, now aided by a finger, sends me careening toward another climax.

This one builds much slower — a long arc of rising gratification during which I caress Mia’s hair, rub my own nipples, and hear Theo say something about dreams coming true. Then I’m cumming again, shouting and pressing Mia’s face into my dripping, quivering cunt.

I fall back on the bed, feeling the aftershocks and the breath on my thighs as Mia gasps and Theo fucks with renewed vigor. She cums in a staggering shiver in time with Theo’s pounding, and then collapses on top of me, our naked bodies spent and warm and harmonized.

The feeling is so blissful, so soft and comforting and satisfied that I forget about poor Theo and even start to drift off to sleep.

Mia rouses me and calls my attention to our patient lover lying next to us, stroking Mia’s back, his stiff cock still waiting its turn.

Mia offers another erotic proposal to which I agree effortlessly: “Let’s share his cum.”

Kneeling in front of him, we fall into another rhythm of mutual admiration. Mia opens her throat and takes his rod impossibly deep. I suck on his balls. Then we trade tasks, try new rhythms, let saliva drip out of our cock-full mouths, and watch the thrill light up his face.

When it’s clear that he’s about to explode, Mia looks up at him and says, “Give us your cum, you big stud. We want to drink it all.”

On cue, the pulsing meat in front of us rockets forth a load of thick, hot spunk that splashes across our cheeks. Another spurt fills my open mouth. A third covers Mia’s nose. Theo spurts over and over until cum drips off our chins and onto our tits and we smile up at him, satisfied in our teamwork. Theo watches us share a cum-soaked kiss and then he collapses on the bed, emptied of desire, full of satisfaction.

Mia and I clean each other up slowly, both of us still drifting on a wave of euphoria.

“I did’t think that would ever happen,” she confesses.

“I didn’t know you wanted it to. I didn’t know you were bi.”

“I’m not. At least I don’t think so. But with you, I feel … different. I’ve wanted to fuck you ever since that night you let me measure your boobs.”

I decide that is the right approach. I doubt I will ever feel as attracted to another woman or as comfortable as Mia makes me feel. We snuggle into bed on either side of Theo who is grinning with pride, and the three of us sigh and soar into a dreamy rest.

Just before I doze off, my mind wanders to math, as it often does, and I come to the realization of an indisputable mathematical truth — one that seems so obvious but I have never fully grasped before — one that makes me smile as I drift off into contented sleep.

Three is greater than two.