“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the Fairest One of all?” commands the Queen. She stands adorned in raiment of gold, her dark hair graced with a silver crown, her skin pale, her lips full and lustrous – her beauty glorious and, surely, unsurpassable.

“Fair art thou, O Queen,” replies the Mirror, “and thy dark hair, thy pale skin, and thy full red lips are things of great beauty. But yet, show me more, Majesty, that I might tell whether thou art truly the Fairest in the Land.” The Queen smiles knowingly, letting her robes fall gracefully to her waist, revealing her full breasts, firm and luscious as ripe melons.

“O, fair art thou, O Queen,” gasps the Mirror in delight. “Thy dark hair, thy pale skin, and thy full red lips are things of beauty; and yea, thy tits are gorgeous, suckable, fuckable marvels – surely the fairest in the Kingdom and beyond. But yet, reveal more to me, Majesty: let me see thy tight cunt, that I might say whether or not thy beauty is truly unsurpassed.”

The Queen knows this routine, and she smirks as she lets her robes drop to the floor, revealing her bald pussy, pink and glistening, its soft dangling lips shining with nectar.

The Mirror moans in pleasure. “Fair art thou, O Queen – O fuck: thy hair, thy skin, thy lips, thy huge bulging tits, and now thy tasty dripping Queenly Quim, are surely the most wondrous in the Land. Slide thy fingers into that hot cunt and taste thy Sovereign Savour, that thy Servant may revel in the glory of thy Beauteous Body.”

The Queen does so, and soon her fingers are webbed with the finest filigree of cunt-slime, which she licks off with outstretched tongue, glorying in her inimitable pungent royal sweetness. The Magic Mirror groans in pleasure: “Fuck yea, O Quimful Queen, that is truly the most Perfect Pussy in the whole Kingdom, nay, throughout the Seven Kingdoms of this Continent – guaranteed to make each man or woman swoon, prostrate himself at thy feet, and worship thy Courtly Cuntness, thy Victorious Vulva. But yet, thou hast not yet revealed to me thy Perfect Posterior which – though surely a thing of beauty, may yet – who knows? –  be surpassed by someone else.”

“Ha!” The Queen laughs with derision. “Who could surpass my arse, Mirror Minion? If I have more beautiful hair, skin, lips, tits and cunt than any other in all Europe, then my arse is surely my crowning glory: curvaceous, tight, slappable, lickable, pungent and fuckable – who can improve upon this?” She twirls round to reveal her bottom – and, yea, it is a marvel to behold.

The Mirror groans with pleasure and desire: “Oh fuck, oh yea, oh Motherfucking Miraculous Majesty, show me that hot fucking arse, squeeze it, spank it, jiggle it, twerk it. O yes, O Queen, thine is surely the most Beauteous Bottom in the Land!”

The Queen laughs triumphantly. “And so, my Lascivious Lookingglass, my Wanking Windowpane – wilt thou at last declare thy Queen the Fucking Fairest in the Land?”

“Ah – but yet, one thing remains to be investigated, O Marvellous Motherfucking Majesty, before I can declare thee Vaginally Victorious among all women. Come closer, that I may better investigate that Royal Rectum, that Chivalrous Shitter, which winketh wankily at me from between thy Basilic Buttcheeks. For it is in the Domineering Depths of thy Sovereign Stinkhole that true beauty will ever be revealed.”

The Queen shifts her bottom backwards, till her soft cheeks are pressed up against the warm surface of the Mirror, and she feels her anus winking cheekily against the glass. “O fuck, O yea, O behold, O fuck ye fuck ye,” groans the Mirror in pleasurable ecstasy. The Queen feels something soft, wet and flexible caressing her brown hole, hears the Mirror slurping and slobbering as it casts all decorum to one side and moans in anilingual ecstasy: “O shit, O fuck, O scrummy cunting arsehole, O yea, O let me eat thy fucking arse, O Queen, let me plunge my Tricksome Tongue deep in that filthy fucking shithole.”

“My Motherfucking Minion, my Butteating Bondsman,” replies the Queen, “stick thy finger in there, do! Pinky-penetrate my Paramount Pungent Posterior!”

“FUCK YEAAAA!” yells the Mirror in lustful desperation. “Feel me finger-fuck that Filthy Fundament, Majesty! Not just one, not two, but three invisible Fucking Fingers in that Regal Rectum, that thy August Anus may gape O-glorious for my pleasure!”

“FUUUUUCK!” screams the Queen in delight, as she feels her posterior penetrated by three twirling curling unseen digits. Her own hand furiously rubs her Courtly Clit, edging herself closer and closer to her climax, as she screams: “Now plunge thy prick into my Royal Rectum, make me come over thy Fucking Fenestration. Go on, Mirror, ram that Fiefly Fuckstick in and out of my cunted shithole, split me in two with thy Peasant Prick, thy Captive Cock!”

Immediately the Queen feels something huge and stiff pressing against her butthole – followed by the punch, the scrape, the squeeze of the Mirrorly Manhood filling her up. “FUCK YEA!” she screams. “Squirt all thy cream deep in my Domineering Dirtpipe, Motherfucking Mirror. Fucking drown me in Servile Semen whilst I come all over thy Magic Manhood. And then tell me that I am the Fucking Fairest in the Land!”

The Mirror continues to mercilessly pound his prick in and out of the royal anus. “Fair art thou, O fucking Queen!” he bellows in ecstasy. “Thy hair is black as ebony, thy skin as white as snow, thy lips as red as the red red rose, thy cunt as pink as hyacinth, thy arse as squeezable and fuckable as any throughout the Continent and beyond.” The Queen feels her arse pounded harder, faster, deeper, as the Mirror continues: “But yet there is one who surpasseth thee – for her arsehole is fairer than thine: its savour is sweeter, its taste more tempting, its grip tighter, its gape wider, its rim smoother, O wretched Queen, than thine own August Arsehole.”

“WHAT?!” screeches the Queen. “Who is the one whose Butthole Beauty exceeds mine? Who dares to challenge the Royal Rectum?”

“SNOOOW WHIIITE!” bellows the Mirror, as he climaxes copiously as only a Magic Mirror can. The Queen feels the Mirror’s semen spray-paint her interior, splashing wildly against her rectal walls. She feels the invisible manhood withdraw, yet continue to squirt its cream across her buttocks and up her back. Cum drips out of her arsehole, courses down her dangling cunt-lips, dribbles down her thighs, pools behind her heels, and seeps magically across the marble floor. “Snow White is now sixteen, O Queen,” pants the Mirror, “and her tight teenage arsehole is now the Fairest in the Land! Thy Buttock Beauty is supplanted, Majesty.”

“LIAR!!!” screams the Queen, wheeling round, but losing her balance in the slippery semen and falling face-first in the pool of cum, her crown tipping off her head and landing with a splash. Fuck-cream flows across the marble floor, rendering her helplessly prone, blubbing and glubbing, cum-faced and frustrated. “GUARDS! ARREST THIS MIRROR!!” she screeches. Her guards come running, but can manage nothing more than to slip and slide across the semen-coated floor, ending up in a cum-spattered jumble against the wall.

“INGRATE! TRAITOR! ASSASSIN!” screams the Queen at her once-faithful Mirror. “I AM THE FAIREST IN THE LAND! AND MY ARSEHOLE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!” As if to prove it, she pulls herself up onto her hands and knees, emits a long loud squelchy fart from her fucked-out anus, before slipping and collapsing again face-first on the cum-soaked marble floor.

“SNOW WHITE SHALL DIE!!!”