Cynical optimist. Uppity bitch. Rump shaker. Money maker. Enigma extraordinaire. Penguin enthusiast. Food evangelist. Lipstick extremist. Titty connoisseur. Motorboat champion. Pretty and weird. Easily distracted. Not easily impressed. Certified potty mouth. Unapologetically vulgar. Classy as fuck.

"I knew you were a sub, Craig!"


she|her|hers|bad bitch

**ATTENTION: I promise from the bottom of my cold heart, I do NOT wanna see you cum on camera. I also do NOT wanna listen to you cum. I promise you can do it without me. I believe in you.** 

**DISCLAIMER: I reserve the right to rate any and all unsolicited dick pics on a scale of 1-10 and share said rating with you. No, I will not elaborate on the rating.**

I'm here to read and have fun. You're more than welcome to be a part of that if you'd like. But please be aware that I'm unavailable for anything more than friendly chat. Camp out in my friend zone at your own risk...just make sure you're good at rationing your resources. Seriously...if you wanna be my friend just be my friend. But that 'friend with ulterior motives' bullshit is for the birds. If you say what you mean and mean what you say, then you're fine in my book (with exceptions, of course).

The avatar (usually) ain't me.

Interests
A little bit of this, and a whole lot of that.

Favorite Books
Give me anything suspenseful/romantic/fantastical and I doubt I'll put it down. Oh, and erotica obviously.

Favorite Authors
I get attached to stories moreso than authors.

Favorite Movies
Too many to name. Just about anything that catches my attention, except horror. I don't enjoy being scared.

Favorite Music
Everything from classical to hip-hop....except metal, I hate it.