Quote by Denim_Daisy10
Now that is a funny read
I wouldn't change a thing about it . the "LOL" is what makes it different from everything else
A bit country and fun to read. Thank you for the support.
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Quote by julie_slink
I'm not a mod, but if you removed the ellipses and changed the wording into complete sentences, then this would be much easier to follow. I would also remove the "LOLs."
I also had a story rejected because it didn't fit within the site guidelines. I revised and resubmitted and it is up now. The mods I have talked to are very nice and would probably give you additional feedback if you asked.
I like your idea though. With a bit of polish, it could be even better. My second draft was much better than the first. Keep writing!
I'm just trying to be helpful, not an ass.
Really, fully agree with your suggestions as it was much like what was suggested by Liz. And if I was wanting "published" then I would need to conform to the expectations. I have no concerns wit being published per say, and really only submitted an entry with the insistence of a few friends. With the contest, the instructions were to submit through the story process.
I write for a whole lot of other reasons, much the same as posting to Forum. I have no problems with the "rules" to get published here or the suggestions and support Liz provided. I was simple letting those who encouraged me to post know where my entry was.
As for the "broken sentences" and the ellipses..... It's a style of writing all it's own.... some like it... many don't.... It did cut down the number of words to the total of 114, thus meeting the rules of limitation.
You all take care and thank you for the feedback. And thank you, to all who took time to design, manage and support the contest as it was!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by weekender
Well.... good intentions.... but per the note from Liz, my entry to the contest here, was not "Up to standard to be published" here on Lush.Efforts will be made to repost it here for your reading enjoyment. The issue of objection was related to the style I write, not the wording.... or content.... simply "structure".
More coffee, please.... I'll fix it later!
Toasted Pleasures
As I approached the den, she sat there in her night dress having phone conversation with her friend. The nature of conversation caught my ear… “Yes, it’s the big silver one I showed you the catalog.. about 16” long…. I thought four too many… two is enough. Yes… we can do it tomorrow… when he wakes up.. share it between us, show him how it works…. Yes, 7 settings…. LOL… He has no clue… though he questioned me… what I was looking at…. Ya…. Told him of my “plan” to buy a new sex toy... LOL… he’ll freak with you being there too.”
Coming downstairs… they sat there smiling, popping bagels in a new toaster.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by browncoffee
Weekender, I'm sorry your piece didn't make it into the competition but I'm sure it'll be up soon.
It was in on time... Posted somewhere and even viewed by some 20-plus persons before Liz "took it down".. for structure and writing style.
I'll copy over and post here later this evening.
Its a simple laugh of a story.... for fun anyhow. No real loss except left unread.
Active Ink Slinger
Well.... good intentions.... but per the note from Liz, my entry to the contest here, was not "Up to standard to be published" here on Lush. Efforts will be made to repost it here for your reading enjoyment. The issue of objection was related to the style I write, not the wording.... or content.... simply "structure".
More coffee, please.... I'll fix it later!
Efforts will be made to repost it here for your reading enjoyment. The issue of objection was related to the style I write, not the wording.... or content.... simply "structure". More coffee, please.... I'll fix it later!
69. Would be an adventure