Staceyshackleton's Forum Posts

Rookie Scribe

13 May 2015

Every week I tell myself I'm going to sleep for 8 hours a night. Every week I end up sleeping about 6 - 6.5 hours per night. I made a conscious effort to increase this to 7 hours, but now I've joined Lush. smile

Living in NZ, a lot of stuff happens while I'm asleep, so I've found I now wake up at 5:30am in the morning, and instinctively reach to check my inbox and timeline. ;)

That's probably not healthy, right? :)

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staceyshackleton

Rookie Scribe

13 May 2015

Hey,

So, the obvious-male-answer is "hell yes!". That goes without saying on this website.

However, for the guys who are not naturally inclined to be your typical Lush members, I suspect the real issue will be to sell the fact that pole dancing is really - at it's heart - a fun dance form that has real health benefits. That sounds boring, but I do know some guys (not me smile

) who'd be nervous about others in the community thinking their less of their partner because of pole dancing. I don't actually believe that's an issue, in reality. It's just about communicating what the benefits are, and how pole dancing now attracts a diverse range of performers. ;)

In my part of the world, they tend to call it Pole Fit to differentiate it, and rebrand it. Use that name instead. Honestly, it's just about the name really. If you took the name away from the activity, then it becomes another form of gymnastics.

An open conversation with your husband should do the trick, and I think most rationale people would see the benefits after a little persuasion!

Stacey (going against his own long standing tradition, and trying not to give his default aroused-male-response ;) )

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staceyshackleton

Rookie Scribe

9 May 2015

Hi Saphria,

I saw your request for feedback on an initial story opening that you'd written.

I believe you have a good imagination and vivid descriptive powers, which is always a positive. However, if I could make one initial suggestion then it's that your sentences are often too long. There were several instances in that opening where you had sentences with nearly ten commas and sections, and this can be hard to parse. It can also be hard for a reader to fully become immersed if they are having to re-read sections to ensure they have the sentence formation correct in their own mind.

If you're interested in getting some editorial help, I'd be happy to help with the sentence structure. I've only posted eight stories myself, but you can get a sense for my writing style from those.

I think you've got a very nice start to a good story here, and it'll just be a question of getting the sentence and paragraph level structure right. Otherwise, looking forward to seeing more from you!

Hope this helps,

S.

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