these folks recommending tantra are right on the money with their info. There is one person in the world were time was irrelavent and literally hours would go by. I must quantify this by saying banging would not describe it at all, more like constant, comfortable connection punctuated by ebbs and flows in energy levels and attraction level, but we never left each others contact. it just so happened we fit perfectly, and her sex drive is comparable to mine and there were no sandpaper issues. pornstar fucking, no, fucking each other comfortably, loving the other so much we couldnt bear to be apart once connected you bet. most amazing experience ive had with another person.
yes it is very damaging, and not only to the relationship, but the person cut off. often the denier associates not only all forms of sex (oral, vaginal etc) with the ban on meeting in the middle, but affectionate contact as well. things like kissing, cuddling, affectionate touches disappear as well because they can be construed as foreplay. no contact at all can do all kinds of slow,cracking damage to a person. we are creatures of contact and mutual affection; deny that and a person can slowly lose self esteem and isolation can set in.
On the twenty third of this month, it will have been three years. I sobered up, lost the bad boy attitude, and the switch was flipped. That is any kind of affectionate touch. We went from weekly to zero as soon as I came out of detox.
im working on an exit strategy.
