Quote by CenterLine
I have been in the past, though that's not an issue in my current relationship. It didn't bother me then, but then I wasn't accustomed to having a lot of sex, nor was I particularly used to having a girlfriend. With that in mind, we broke up because we didn't like each other that much. I suspect that if you and he are in love, then it won't matter that much. It's your virginity, not his, and if he doesn't accept that, and realize that if it's important to you it has to be important to him, then maybe it's not meant to be.
My one piece of active advice is to not let this issue push either of you into getting married before you should.
It would also be interesting to know if he's a virgin or not.
and we like our bodies a lot. he said hes not a virgin. i know his exgf too and she broke up with him cos he squeezed her bottom too much always. he does mine too but i like. Quote by Ravyn
Oh dear......the urge or desire to have sex should NOT be your driving force to get married. Trust me when I say this, the promise you made to your mom is one she should never have asked you to make. Losing your virginity is a personal thing and it should only be your decision. Speaking as a mother of two, I would never advise my kids who are 20 and 24 now, to wait until marriage. In a perfect world, yes that may be ideal for some, but you really do need to know you have sexual compatibility with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with or however long you plan to be married. Living in a sexless or less than desirable sexual pleasurable marriage is no way to live. I speak from over many years of experience on this. Love is an amazingly wonderful thing but that to will fade with there is no sexual compatibility. I am in no way promoting sexual promiscuity, but I am a firm believer in knowing your partner and making sure you are compatible on many levels including sexually related things.
I pose this question to you, what if you do wait, and you and the man you marry consummate your marriage and you find that its not all you thought it to be? Losing ones virginity is not always a pleasurable thing despite what you might read or hear.
If waiting is truly what you want to do for YOU then by all means do it, but waiting because you promised another, I would seriously reconsider. You mentioned how you touch each other now sexually in your previous posts, do you think your mother would approve of that kind of before marriage contact? Do you feel guilt over those actions? Remember, this is your life, and you need to live it as it best suits you.
Not one person in this community can tell you what to do, we can only advise and spark conscious thought. I hope you find the answers you seek and can live with the decision you ultimately make.
I know my response was a bit off topic from your original question. Any guy you are involved with should respect the decisions you make regarding your body, if he leaves then he isn't worthy of you to begin with.
Quote by mr_canuck
I would not. Sexual compatibility is important. Your mother should be ashamed of herself for asking you to promise that.
Good luck!
i'm not a great person (i done some wrong things that i never told anyone thati ) so i guess i deserve some punishment anyway in a way. thank you 
Quote by Bayeck
sounds like you understand. just don't break the promise if it'll make you guilty or sad because it will stay with you and it might cause problems down the road in your relationship.
Quote by MadMartigan
Promise to the parental unit huh?
I don't believe it is right for someone to control your sexual habits, whether living or from the grave...
I wouldn't break it to spite, but staying a virgin out of a promise to your mother (who shouldn't have any sway on your sex life) is silly.
I won't try to convince you otherwise, but...
But honestly, it is YOUR life. If you want to have sex and trust the man you are with deeply, go for it.
Some promises need to be broken and having that held over you...ugh. You shouldn't feel guilty over it.
Then again, I think the whole stay abstinent until marriage is bunk. But that's my opinion.
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
It's outlawed in most places publicly. Period. Especially if kids are present.
Your best bet would be somewhere dark and secluded, like a bar or a restaurant with mood lighting. Somewhere that you can be discrete but still have that thrill of being out in the open.
Quote by rolfster
My ladyfriend and I have had sex in public in many places (restaurants, ferries, on top of the Rockefeller Tower in NYC, on top of the car alongside the I5 in California, against a tree in a public park in Toronto) — the trick is to appear as natural and relaxed as possible and 99% of the people will not notice you are fucking in public. It's some of the hottest sex imaginable.
Quote by Sperminator
No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything witQuote by lafayettemister
It depends on how long she wants to wait until we're married? Of course, we could do anal and her cherry would stay intact until the honeymoon.
i wanted to try anal but was afraid it would make my bottom less tight. so i never tried it.
Quote by Bayeck
it sounds like the promise with your mom is very important to you. before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.
i want to have sex badly. i touch my boyfriends lap always but will keep my promise no matter what cos i'd feel guilty4ever if i didn't keep it. what do you mean when you say before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.?
sorry i didn't understand it
Quote by Sperminator
No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything with my partner. I also don't believe in marriage and it has no personal meaning to me, which is another factor.
i agree, i don't think marriage is a big deal eitherexcept in my case so i can make love.
Quote by ByronLord
That is a terrible reason. It is no business of parents whether their adult kids have sex before marriage. Attempting to control their lives from beyond the grave is obnoxious beyond belief. It is emotional blackmail.
Live your life for your own moral principles, not someone else's.
Do you really want to marry in your 20s just to have sex? What happens if the guy you marry tends to be crap at it? Women are much more likely to end up with a crap lover than men are. The woman does not need to put in any particular effort for the man to have a fun time but the reverse is not the case.
Sex before marriage is a much better option than getting married and then having affairs because hubby is crap in bed. See my poem 'to all the husband's I have cuckolded'.
Sure you can find men who would wait. Even today it is pretty common to want to wait till a relationship is serious to have sex, even though men aren't supposed to admit that. But the risk you face by holding off till a wedding ring is that you will be picking from the pool of men who are just not into sex or are closet homosexuals etc.
and i trust his finger more than any other bfs by far. i agree its best to try riding a man before marrying. but i guess im scared to break the promise Quote by Dark_Lord
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a virgin until you get married, if he has a problem with it, then he is not the right one for you and is only looking for one thing.
Quote by Robert1234
From my own experience, if you find someone you really love and want to be with, 'saving' yourself doesn't seem as important as it once was
Quote by kylie_kained
If he truly loves you he will wait no matter what, I would be willing to wait if I had to.
Quote by CrazyTexan
I've been in past relationships where the girl has wanted to wait till marriage. It was never a source of disdain between us. It is something that I whole-heatedly respected.
Quote by paul_moadib
Yes I would have.
But as an older guy now, I would certainly advise a younger girl not to build the act of sex up to mythological proportions.
Sure, it should be taken seriously, but if over a persons married lifespan they might have sex several thousand times, it is more important to worry about it being good throughout, not just the first time.
That involves communication, understanding and daring ... amongst other things.
Quote by Bayeck
personally, i'm fine with waiting but every guy is different. it you can still have a sex life without having sex. however, if you do go 'all the way,' you can't back to saving yourself again.
Quote by OZ_Tech
If she wanted to save her virginity until marriage I would wait, but if that also included no sexual contact whatsoever until marriage, I would probably move on.
Quote by Langley
Yes I would not have a problem with that at all
Quote by MadMartigan
If he really loves you, he will.
It is a tricky matter. Intimacy (intercourse) is a highly emotional thing with someone you love. I don't know if I could get married without having sex. While shallow on the surface, that isn't quite true.
I believe for a marriage to work well, there needs to be an established sex of sexual compatibility. You won't know till you bump the uglies. That's my philosophy at any rate. Much as we pretend it isn't a huge factor, sex and sexual compatibility is an important thing in a relationship. Not having it will lead to finding other faults in the person....
If saving it until marriage is an important thing for you, don't be pressured or feel pressured to give it up.
You'll only ever know though if you talk with him about it. Has he even voiced or shown discontent or frustration in the first place about not getting to the penultimate level of intimacy yet anyway?
Quote by doctorlove
why do you want to be a virgin?
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
What do you mean your boyfriend lets you keep your virginity? It's yours. Do with it as you please. If waiting until marriage is something you feel strongly about, then find someone who thinks you're worth the wait. If there ever comes a point where he wants to go further than he knows you're willing to go, then it's time to move on.
Quote by freakycactus
I love to watch a guy wank, even better if I get to help out a little.
This just creeps me out, fair enough, if there's some attraction and there's been flirting and lots of suggestive conversations, otherwise, he's using someone's underwear as a masturbatory aid without consent, you may get off on it but did he know you would? And you've filmed him and watched it without his consent. Yes, he shouldn't have been in the room but that doesn't make it better.
Then again, this sounds like the beginning to a really bad porn film and like the perfect way to increase traffic to your profile page.
and he was a flirty teacher and liked us 
