Let me just preface this little narrative by saying that I am not the most proficient of lovers. I have trouble meeting ladies. I don’t know why. I’m shy, you could say. But I'm human, like Morrissey says, and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does. So, instead of going out and meeting someone, I thought I’d try hiring a prostitute. I’d never done it before. And, to be honest, I didn’t even know how. You can’t ju...