Reading the answers it seems I'm going to stand out as the "bad guy". There was a time in my life I used to think that cheating was a "guy thing" and that only jerks would cheat on someone they were involved with. In my late 30s I was on a training course and sat next to a woman from a town about 300kms from where I lived. She was also married, two kids. We just kinda clicked, it wasnt a sexual attraction, more just a comfort. Having lunch in a group talking about various topics, we just seemed to think of things the same way. When a few of us went out to check the town, a bit of shopping, drinks, even some dancing, the two of us just seemed to click. Like most men, I masturbate, various topics pass through my mind when I do, in my room that night it was her. Last night of training a group of us went out, everything was simliar, more drinking than the other nights. We just seemed to find a way to be beside each other most of the night. At the end of the night, we were still in a group but the two of us walked together and that comfort was still there. We werent alone in the elevator and everyone was saying what floor they were on but instead of her floor she said her room number and gave me this look, even with everyone there. I ended up in my room wondering if it was my imagination. Stayed there a while, then got off my butt, took a risk, went up to her room, knocked, she answered, and there I was not knowing what to say. She just opened the door let me in and things went from there. From the time i knocked on the door to the time she woke me up at 5 am to say i needed to go in my own room, we didnt talk. It wasnt anything like you see in the movies, the sex was fun, was good, but it didnt feel naughty to me.
Afterwards, I'll admit, i felt guilty but the more I thought of it the less guilty I felt. When I was honest with myself, I realized it wasnt guilt, it was fear. What if she tells someone. What if it gets back to people in my office. What if my wife finds out from someone in the office. The truth was the actual guilt of cheating and betraying just wasnt there. I never really felt the need for variety or to pursue someone or to have another relationship but something about that woman, just felt like it fit. I've worked at the same place for over 15 yrs. Her and I didnt contact each other after, but yes, a few times over the years we have ended up in the same place at the same time, and we didnt fight things or even talk about them. If we found the chance to be alone, we would be intimate. Neither of us tried to turn it into something it wasnt, we had our lives and our relationships but for us, that fit was there and we acted on it.
I know if my wife found out, it would crush her, she would of course feel betrayed and I would be the selfish ass who caused it all. The thing is, when I think about it, I really dont feel guilty, I love her, I love our family, I love our life. Despite that, I know if I run into my "friend" I have no hesitation being with her and when I"m with her I think nothing of my life outside of that room. Many will judge and feel I am horrible and that is their right. Myself, I found it odd that the guilt was never there, just the worry. I thought I was a "better person" than that.
I do honestly believe though, the older I get, the more I pay attention to people around me, I'm not alone, and it isnt just horrible people who cheat. I truly believe you can be happy with your life, be a good person and still, find another that just clicks. You can choose not to act on it and good for you if you have the strength. The thing is, with the right person, its more than just sex, its this experience that just lets you withdraw from the world, be in another, a small square world that lasts for a breif time, before you return.
Just my thoughts.
Rookie Scribe