A story in draft.
Chapter One: The Two Sluts in the Restaurant, or “That is how I learned to make pickled eggs.”
Brenda and Natalie had just moved to Ecuador. They were porn stars who had fallen in love and quit their prior careers to become waitresses in a local restaurant.
One day, Brenda was sent to the store for some restaurant supplies. {Note: insert gratuitous sex scene between Brenda and Natalie as she prepares to leave the establishment}. She asked the man at the grocery store, “Tiene huevos?” (Do you have eggs?) “Si, Señora – Dos” (Yes, ma’am, two.) {Note: our sophisticated readers will already know that “eggs” is a slang term in Spanish for “testicles.}
Brenda further asked for pickles to use with the eggs. The grocer grinned and unzipped his pants. It wasn’t green, but it was a pickle. {Note: gratuitous sex scene involving fellatio; might consider a pickle up the guy’s ass to appeal to a somewhat different crowd}. Lots of possibilities here.
Natalie was waiting at the restaurant, breathlessly pawing at her crotch and rubbing her breasts. {Note: this is for a sex website, mushystories, so there is no need to try for credibility}. She grabbed the supplies, put them in a blender, and spread the resulting mixture over her (Muff? Snatch? Love Canal? Pussy?) {Note: Get a new thesaurus.}
I was hungry, so I entered the restaurant expecting to satisfy my urge for feasting. I saw the two naked sluts in a 69, and suddenly I had other urges that needed to be satisfied. {Note: don’t bother editing, this is for mushystories and nobody gives a shit as long as the reader gets to stroke). I immediately grabbed the taller girl’s mammary glands. {Note: mammalia just did not go over well in the focus group). I kissed the the two horny and {Note: we really need that Thesaurus) women on their {Note: insert body parts) while they were licking each other’s cunts/boxes/whatever. I immediately tore off my clothes and joined them. And that is how I learned to make pickled eggs.
Coming Soon- Chapter Two, or How I Met Your Mother.
Story Development Notes:
1. The male character needs to be an IT puke so we can use all of the standard dipshit puns about his “hard drive,” his “floppy disk,” and we’re working on a golden showers scene in which we can use the term “Pee See.”
2. This is Ecuador, after all, and a lot of the equipment is really old. I think we can work in that “I AM TWAT line here. Maybe, “I AM TWAT HEAR ME ROAR?”
3. We’re actually offering a paid day off for anybody who can find a way to work the Forward Price-Earnings Ratio for the Dow Jones Transportation Average into it. We’re gonna win this contest!
No prizes, just fun.
Let the moderators pick a phrase or sentence that could almost never be used in an erotic story. The more improbable and implausible the better. My first thought is "Forward Price-Earnings Ratio for the Dow Jones Transportation Average." There must be a million better ones.
Challenge writers to include the phrase/sentence in a story in a manner that heightens the eroticism. Let the fun begin.
Eroticism takes many forms. My preferred one involves anticipation. The situation engages and includes more than a tease, and offers a promise of ever-more-erotic circumstances and actions.
Then there's the fuck- and suck-fest. Guy meets girl guys fucks girl guy meets another girl, girl sucks guy with more fellatio and intercourse per page than apostrophes.
Dos anyone else encounter a challenge when narrating an "anticipation" story that needs gratuitous insertion of fuck- and suck-fest to get past the story reviewers? When I submit a chapter in which nobody experiences an orgasm for two whole paragraphs, I occasionally find that I've fallen short of the "fest" quota and am told to resubmit.
Lush is my first experience with an erotic story site. Did I pick the wrong one? I'm simply not interested in randomly injecting "OH MY GOD I'M CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMING" every few sentences to satisfy someone else's prescribed dose or someone else's definition of what "real" eroticism is.
Anybody else's view? Thanks
I'm writing a story that I wish had happened. Not every chapter has non-stop sex. I want to develop the characters and make the readers care about them.
That said, the story I'm currently telling is a coming of age tale. Without first establishing the lead character's background - naive, a virgin, no experience at all with sex - the development of the character into one who is deeply in love with his girlfriend, as well as his roommate, is just boy meets girl boy fucks girl boy meets another girl they fuck etc. There's a place for that in erotic fiction, but it does not interest me.
Some of the chapters in my story are intended as fun asides to the erotica. After having one such story rejected for lack of a sex scene, I went back and inserted some gratuitous sex. Does nothing for the story, but it did get the chapter accepted.
A slow start that promises more is fine. In chapter one the main character is seen by his girlfriend's friends in his underwear and is embarrassed. In chapter two he is seen naked by a girl and freaks out, only to discover that this will be the norm in his new environment - and that sex there is a daily, and often public, occurrence. In chapter three he meets his first gay person, and we explore his attitude toward sexuality. By chapter four he's having sex, and it accelerates from there.
