Hi all
A quick update - I am moving within the next week, having found a lovely place to rent. Whether I can leave quietly or not remains to be seen but I am prepared to face the fear and do it anyway.
I don't need to defend my Dom : ) - but just to add, I have been seeing my marriage more and more negatively over the last year. It is just perhaps that more recently, having spent time with Master Nick has accelerated some of those reflections because I have noticed how differently he treats me - ie - with respect.
He has helped me explore my sexually submissive side in a positive way and that is wonderful.
I am learning a lot with my counsellor about my own behaviour so I can really work at having better relationships full stop.
Well, wish me luck for the great escape!!
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lucybee
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 47
United Kingdom
Forum
Rookie Scribe
Hi all,
After a lot of inner turmoil I have decided to leave him. I am just working on the practicalities such as where to live!!
My feelings and thooughts are like a tumble dryer at the moment and it gets harder each day to keep up the pretense. But I know I will be out of here one way or the other within the next few weeks so that keeps me going.
I have shared my situation now with a few friends and am seeing family at the weekend too.
Thanks again to all of you for your support.
xx
After a lot of inner turmoil I have decided to leave him. I am just working on the practicalities such as where to live!!
My feelings and thooughts are like a tumble dryer at the moment and it gets harder each day to keep up the pretense. But I know I will be out of here one way or the other within the next few weeks so that keeps me going.
I have shared my situation now with a few friends and am seeing family at the weekend too.
Thanks again to all of you for your support.
xx
Rookie Scribe
Thanks all. I did see the counsellor (was just me on my own) and am going to go back on a weekly basis. But has already been helpful as have your comments.
I don't know what I am going to do yet but am planning for worst case scenario and have reached out to a couple of friends I still actually have!!
I don't know what I am going to do yet but am planning for worst case scenario and have reached out to a couple of friends I still actually have!!
Rookie Scribe
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Kind of what I expected I guess, but didn't want it to be true. I am fortunately going to see a counsellor for the first time tomorrow which I hope will be helpful too. Expensive, but hopefully helpful!!
Yes, I think I need to see my family and talk with them.
I am fortunate that I have a job and income. And also that we don't have children. I think I will make arrangements to secure that income stream and start seeing where else I might stay, probably my parents.
But I know it could be a hideous journey ahead if I take that drastic move. And I do worry what he might do - particularly to himself and possibly to our property.
But then if I don't do this and just carry on as is I don't think either of us will be happy.
Thanks all.
Kind of what I expected I guess, but didn't want it to be true. I am fortunately going to see a counsellor for the first time tomorrow which I hope will be helpful too. Expensive, but hopefully helpful!!
Yes, I think I need to see my family and talk with them.
I am fortunate that I have a job and income. And also that we don't have children. I think I will make arrangements to secure that income stream and start seeing where else I might stay, probably my parents.
But I know it could be a hideous journey ahead if I take that drastic move. And I do worry what he might do - particularly to himself and possibly to our property.
But then if I don't do this and just carry on as is I don't think either of us will be happy.
Thanks all.
Rookie Scribe
I have been married for 16 years. When I got married my parents did not like my husband and were shocked by his angry outbursts. But I was young and in love.
Over the years friends and family have been shocked by his outbursts (flies into uncontrollable rages) but no one has suggested I leave him. He has never hit me. He occasionally throws objects and spits though.
Some of the time of course he is lovely and we have fun together. But I have begun to realise I never feel really safe at home - I am always wondering if I am going to upset him about something.
I wanted to chat with one of my friends or family about my concerns and then realised that I am mostly cut off from them and they very rarely see me and hubbie together and of course if they do he is on best behaviour.
Although I work and I love my job, life at home is very constrained. I have to make meals to very particular requirements at set times or he gets cross. He links needing this and other things to his health. He seems to have an endless health problem which he never gets addressed. Of course I do all the housework.
Sex is awful. He refuses to try to turn me on as he says I get too wet as it is, so it must all be about him.
I just wanted some outside opinions.
Thanks.
Over the years friends and family have been shocked by his outbursts (flies into uncontrollable rages) but no one has suggested I leave him. He has never hit me. He occasionally throws objects and spits though.
Some of the time of course he is lovely and we have fun together. But I have begun to realise I never feel really safe at home - I am always wondering if I am going to upset him about something.
I wanted to chat with one of my friends or family about my concerns and then realised that I am mostly cut off from them and they very rarely see me and hubbie together and of course if they do he is on best behaviour.
Although I work and I love my job, life at home is very constrained. I have to make meals to very particular requirements at set times or he gets cross. He links needing this and other things to his health. He seems to have an endless health problem which he never gets addressed. Of course I do all the housework.
Sex is awful. He refuses to try to turn me on as he says I get too wet as it is, so it must all be about him.
I just wanted some outside opinions.
Thanks.