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jtw130
Over 90 days ago
Male, 42
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue,
and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says,
'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed
in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent
job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman
of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday,
and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going
to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long
as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue,
and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says,
'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed
in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent
job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman
of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday,
and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going
to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long
as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
Active Ink Slinger
Beyond the Sunset - by George Younce
The song includes a poem called "Should you go first" Which has so much meaning if you lost a loved one.
Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone
I'll live in memory's garden, dear
with happy days we've known
in Spring I'll wait for roses red,
when fades the lilacs blue,
in early fall, when brown leaves call
I'll catch a glimpse of you
Should you go first, and I remain
for battles to be fought,
each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot
I'll hear your voice;
I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope
the memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope
Should you go first and I remain
to finish with the scroll,
no length'ning shadows shall creep in
to make this life seem droll
We've known so much of happiness
we've had our cup of joy,
and memory is one gift of God
that death cannot destroy
Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'd have you do;
walk slowly down that long, lone path,
for soon I'll follow you
I'll want to know each step you take
that I may walk the same,
for some day down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name
The song includes a poem called "Should you go first" Which has so much meaning if you lost a loved one.
Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone
I'll live in memory's garden, dear
with happy days we've known
in Spring I'll wait for roses red,
when fades the lilacs blue,
in early fall, when brown leaves call
I'll catch a glimpse of you
Should you go first, and I remain
for battles to be fought,
each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot
I'll hear your voice;
I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope
the memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope
Should you go first and I remain
to finish with the scroll,
no length'ning shadows shall creep in
to make this life seem droll
We've known so much of happiness
we've had our cup of joy,
and memory is one gift of God
that death cannot destroy
Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'd have you do;
walk slowly down that long, lone path,
for soon I'll follow you
I'll want to know each step you take
that I may walk the same,
for some day down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name
Active Ink Slinger
Here is a few from Rhode Island:
- Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
- One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.
- Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal.
Newport, RI
- You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.
Portsmouth, RI
- It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
Providence, RI
-It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.
- You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
And some From Massachusetts
- A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
- Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
- One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.
- Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal.
Newport, RI
- You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.
Portsmouth, RI
- It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
Providence, RI
-It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.
- You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
And some From Massachusetts
- A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.