My sub is collared. Which for us was a HUGE step in the relationship, it was a definitive "we both want to see this thing through to the end" total commitment. For us that means that she wears a collar or keeps it as close as she can at all times. Even in public.
We have an innocent looking bracelet for family functions and public outings, something that for us says "she is mine" no one is the wiser.
We also have a leather collar that can be worn in private. It's soft royal blue and white, leather with a small padlock on the back and a D ring in the front. that's the at home collar.
Something I learned very early on in my BDSM journey is that it's not always about the flashy leather or huge padlocks. (although lets be real, those ARE pretty awesome)
I know a couple who use their wedding bands to represent that feeling of being owned for the sub. As well as others who symbolize ownership with a tattoo. As long as the person wearing the collar feels owned what it looks like on the outside is secondary.
As a side note, i used to work in retail and in my two years working there i saw three people who were wearing collars. Can't say if they were into BDSM or not, since there are some folk who wear collars as a fashion statement. It always made my day to see them (Although, I never spoke about them with the people i saw, to me it's not any of my business.) To wear a collar that looks like a collar in public takes some serious guts. People notice them, the giant Bell one girl wore hanging from hers made sure no one in the store missed it.
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jgg123
1 week ago
Straight Male, 37
0 miles · Katy
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
It's something my sub and I have discussed. But a decision like that would be made by both of us one way or the other, i would not feel right trying to subject her to something that may be a limit.
Personally one is enough, but you never know for sure *shrugs*
as far as the two masters thing, it sounds more like the "superior" Dom is loaning out this person to another . It sounds almost like me letting my friends borrow a possession of mine on my terms. They can use it, just make sure they put it back when they are done and that they respect my wishes.
he is allowing another to use something that ultimately belongs to him.
purely speculation of course but that's how it made since in my mind when you explained it.
I've also heard of couples sharing a sub before.where the sub is to serve both of them (however that is mostly in fiction stories, only talked to maybe 2 people who claimed this style was for them though)
Personally one is enough, but you never know for sure *shrugs*
as far as the two masters thing, it sounds more like the "superior" Dom is loaning out this person to another . It sounds almost like me letting my friends borrow a possession of mine on my terms. They can use it, just make sure they put it back when they are done and that they respect my wishes.
he is allowing another to use something that ultimately belongs to him.
purely speculation of course but that's how it made since in my mind when you explained it.
I've also heard of couples sharing a sub before.where the sub is to serve both of them (however that is mostly in fiction stories, only talked to maybe 2 people who claimed this style was for them though)
Active Ink Slinger
I haven't read this book, been hearing about it though. i'll do my best to answer your questions.
How much does the dominant person really truly enjoys the inflicting pain in others?
-It really depends on the person, I personally enjoy dealing pain to a certain point, but only the pain she wants to experience as well as a bit of pushing. I don't like breaking her by hurting her I know i've seen in alot of stories here.
Is it a normal thing to have a BDSM relationship without feelings involve?
-Again i think it depends on the person. For me personally its a relationship, i care very much for my sub and my first priory is to make sure she is protected and safe from harm. I can't image having a relationship of the D/s dynamic without feelings, but to each his own.
Do you think a lot of people enter this lifestyle because of a painfull background and this is the only way to cope with reality?
-I wondered this same question for a long time when i started my journey into BDSM. but a lot of the people I've met seem to have no more baggage than the normal person. I have also met my fair share of people who have some intense baggage but you'll find people like that in every social group.
What about the rules?
-Again here it depends on the person. Personally, the time's we've talked about her coming to stay with me, we have discussed getting her a cage to sleep in and about different rules. Some of them people might find funny, but they exist so that my girl can get used to following the rules that matter.
Do you live by this rules all the time? i mean you never have a break from them? you never can just talk to the other person like you do in a normal relationship?
- use of the word normal doesn't bother my any. While it might offend some people, most people understand that the dynamic of the relationship is not a traditional one.
The rules i set for my girl are not ones she is allowed to turn on and off. now i don't limit how she can talk to me or when she can speak her mind. it's a relationship and with that communication is key.
If you are a dominant and you see this girl or guy you want to take as a sub and that person is really not into the lifestyle do you try a relationship or no?
- depends on the person, i'm not restricted in needing to be a dom in order to be happy for the right person i'd have no problem having a traditional relationship
Hope i was able to help, always enjoy answering questions lol.
How much does the dominant person really truly enjoys the inflicting pain in others?
-It really depends on the person, I personally enjoy dealing pain to a certain point, but only the pain she wants to experience as well as a bit of pushing. I don't like breaking her by hurting her I know i've seen in alot of stories here.
Is it a normal thing to have a BDSM relationship without feelings involve?
-Again i think it depends on the person. For me personally its a relationship, i care very much for my sub and my first priory is to make sure she is protected and safe from harm. I can't image having a relationship of the D/s dynamic without feelings, but to each his own.
Do you think a lot of people enter this lifestyle because of a painfull background and this is the only way to cope with reality?
-I wondered this same question for a long time when i started my journey into BDSM. but a lot of the people I've met seem to have no more baggage than the normal person. I have also met my fair share of people who have some intense baggage but you'll find people like that in every social group.
What about the rules?
-Again here it depends on the person. Personally, the time's we've talked about her coming to stay with me, we have discussed getting her a cage to sleep in and about different rules. Some of them people might find funny, but they exist so that my girl can get used to following the rules that matter.
Do you live by this rules all the time? i mean you never have a break from them? you never can just talk to the other person like you do in a normal relationship?
- use of the word normal doesn't bother my any. While it might offend some people, most people understand that the dynamic of the relationship is not a traditional one.
The rules i set for my girl are not ones she is allowed to turn on and off. now i don't limit how she can talk to me or when she can speak her mind. it's a relationship and with that communication is key.
If you are a dominant and you see this girl or guy you want to take as a sub and that person is really not into the lifestyle do you try a relationship or no?
- depends on the person, i'm not restricted in needing to be a dom in order to be happy for the right person i'd have no problem having a traditional relationship
Hope i was able to help, always enjoy answering questions lol.
Active Ink Slinger
When i was just starting out as a Dom, i went through a phase where i inhaled every ounce of information i could find on the subject of BDSM and D/s (there's alot out there, and alot of nonsense)
I stumbled across it then
As far as what it does, i think it's more of a fun fantasy than anything that actually matters. I've seen the occasional picture of a sub getting a tattoo or a collar with their number on it/them. It seems fun, not something i personally care too much about.
Its an interesting idea though.
I stumbled across it then
As far as what it does, i think it's more of a fun fantasy than anything that actually matters. I've seen the occasional picture of a sub getting a tattoo or a collar with their number on it/them. It seems fun, not something i personally care too much about.
Its an interesting idea though.
Active Ink Slinger
Now i'm not going to lie I MAY have skipped a couple of pages before I decided to post on here... something about reading 500 posts seemed boring, maybe it's just me? 
Anyway, Recently It's come to my attention that some of my friends use the "Blog" area To post information that can be time sensitive. Which is cool and all until you realize that it was time sensitive from a month or two ago.
I think it would be cool to see a time stamp of some sort on the blog entry's
Cam
Anyway, Recently It's come to my attention that some of my friends use the "Blog" area To post information that can be time sensitive. Which is cool and all until you realize that it was time sensitive from a month or two ago.
I think it would be cool to see a time stamp of some sort on the blog entry's
Cam
Active Ink Slinger
Hey Olivia, saw your corner and thought i might drop a line 
.
So i guess this is a two part question about similar things
So from a once shy guy, to an amateur actor and I dare say Confident guy. My question comes from my inability to start a dialogue with someone i have an interest in without coming off as the "Hey lets be friends" type of person. How do I stop that without becoming completely tactless?
-And-
So im at a Local cafe' and Me and this girl are having a nonverbal conversation lol. Well i got the feeling that If i'd have actually spoken up It might have went somewhere (which also could be my overactive imagination
) However When I attempted to begin talking to her I couldn't think of anything to say besides "hi" and i dont know about anyone else but having nothing else to say besides hi can lead to some of the shortest and most awkward "Conversations" i've ever had. Any pointers or suggestions on this?
thanks for your time
Cam
.So i guess this is a two part question about similar things
So from a once shy guy, to an amateur actor and I dare say Confident guy. My question comes from my inability to start a dialogue with someone i have an interest in without coming off as the "Hey lets be friends" type of person. How do I stop that without becoming completely tactless?
-And-
So im at a Local cafe' and Me and this girl are having a nonverbal conversation lol. Well i got the feeling that If i'd have actually spoken up It might have went somewhere (which also could be my overactive imagination
) However When I attempted to begin talking to her I couldn't think of anything to say besides "hi" and i dont know about anyone else but having nothing else to say besides hi can lead to some of the shortest and most awkward "Conversations" i've ever had. Any pointers or suggestions on this?thanks for your time
Cam
Active Ink Slinger
I'm almost at a loss for words, almost
When this thread popped up on latest forum, i clicked on it thinking i knew exactly what it was going to say.
*I was wrong* 0.o lol
This thread turned out to be the exact opposite of what i thought it was going to be, I cant believe what im reading...
As a big time gamer i can definitely express how great it was would be to meet more gals who enjoyed it much as you seem to.
Keep your chin up i'm sure what your looking for will come to you espically with as cute as you are (Medium cute? bah)
(P.S If i'd had such encouragement when i quit WoW XD)
When this thread popped up on latest forum, i clicked on it thinking i knew exactly what it was going to say.
*I was wrong* 0.o lol
This thread turned out to be the exact opposite of what i thought it was going to be, I cant believe what im reading...
As a big time gamer i can definitely express how great it was would be to meet more gals who enjoyed it much as you seem to.
Keep your chin up i'm sure what your looking for will come to you espically with as cute as you are (Medium cute? bah)
(P.S If i'd had such encouragement when i quit WoW XD)
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by LisaQuote by jcnel002
So this last weekend I was home alone. I took advantage of this time to have some special time for myself. I got the lotion out and took all my clothes off and went at it on my bed. I got into the moment and never noticed that someone walked into my room. So finally after I had cummed I opened my eyes and saw my friend's mom standing there. Once she saw that I opened my eyes she just said "hi, your parents just wanted me to check in on you this weekend and it seems like your doing fine so I'm going to go." This is the first time I've been caught and I'm older (18) so I'm pretty embarassed. I don't know if I should say something to my friend's mom or talking to my mom about it, any advice???
You were given some pretty good advice last time you posted a similar question (it's on your profile under forum posts).
Not sure which is worse. Claiming to get caught beating it, or that you tried to do it twice lol
Active Ink Slinger
I know this is "ask the gals" but these types of situations are very close to my heart if I may.
This is how it looks to my outside eye:
The cons:
1This girl is a friend. If she is really falling for That guy it could lead to some difficult decisions later on.
2 you know that old saying about the quickest way to ruin a friendship?
3. If the guy is not cheating it will look very bad if he finds out
4.it might just be a friend wanting to. Blow some sexual/emotional frustration.
5. It could a game your friend is playing to get back at the ex/current guy.
The pros:
1. She MIGHT like you, (seems un likly espically if she went back with an ex)
2.you get to experience your friendship on a new level (however remember that old saying)
3. Your single the only thing your risking are your feelings and your friendship.
So to answer your question its possible. It dosent seem likly but go with your gut. Take it from my limited life experience that dating and fooling around with friends tends to. Strain your friendship.
Hope I helped. (Any questions/clarification pm me or w.e lol)
This is how it looks to my outside eye:
The cons:
1This girl is a friend. If she is really falling for That guy it could lead to some difficult decisions later on.
2 you know that old saying about the quickest way to ruin a friendship?
3. If the guy is not cheating it will look very bad if he finds out
4.it might just be a friend wanting to. Blow some sexual/emotional frustration.
5. It could a game your friend is playing to get back at the ex/current guy.
The pros:
1. She MIGHT like you, (seems un likly espically if she went back with an ex)
2.you get to experience your friendship on a new level (however remember that old saying)
3. Your single the only thing your risking are your feelings and your friendship.
So to answer your question its possible. It dosent seem likly but go with your gut. Take it from my limited life experience that dating and fooling around with friends tends to. Strain your friendship.
Hope I helped. (Any questions/clarification pm me or w.e lol)
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Magical_felix
This isn't going to help you now.. But men should really let women know their intentions fairly early on. Acting like a friend to her to try to eventually get her in bed is sort of mean in a way. Like trying to eventually catch her off gaurd. (talking about women I know not every woman on the planet) women don't like that, they feel betrayed. Like they might think that you only enjoyed their friendship because you want into their pants. Try having real friendships with women, you'll learn a lot.
Ill give you that. However honestly it diddnt start as a "hey ill be Your friend then turn on you." Like I said. She came to me when she needed a stranger to talk too. It was being her friend that caused me develop such feelings. Granted in the future I will definitly be sure to make intentions clear before I end up in this situation. Its a personal opinion that people who feign friendship for a little nookie (lol) don't belong in the nice guy catigory.
Ladyx in my opinion at least. Its not always guys being sneaky. Its about not knowing how to engage in any other sort of dialogue (myself as a sad example) and like I said I had no intentions of falling for her.
Honeybee, ironically I just recently gave the same adcive to a friend of mine for being in a similar situation. I think yours is just the thing I need to do. I appericate it
Dancing yeah I like the way you put that lol.
Thanks everyone
Active Ink Slinger
I met this girl back in highschool (allbeit this was only about 2 years ago). She was being tormented by her friends over her obsession of this real dirt bag of a guy. Well I came into the picture because I was the bleeding heart back then listening to her cry and swear and faun and laugh about all sorts of stuff reguarding this guy.
Well time went on and this is where my story turns sad. I fell for her right when she was starting to become one of my closest friends (that's the short version pm me if your intrested in the long one) so of course it became strictly off limits. Well I eventually became her go-to guy for all things sexual, sensual, family or academic. Ugh let me skip more babble here as well. its been 2 years now and on and off I keep returning to her. We're still extreamly close and I've started feeling for her again.
So because I'm also the kind of guy who can't actually have emotion to my friends (the hard ass,makes jokes at peoples expense kind of fella) I had a friend try to convince her to go out with me, she goes on this rampage about how were just friends and how my friend need to keep his nose out of our business yada, yada, yada. My question here is do I have any options??? Or am I stuck here in this terrible friend zone?
Any words of encouragement or advice or ANYTHING would be great lol thanks
P.S the horrible grammar is why I don't write stories on here and this is actually the first I've ever posted on here period. So I guess this also counts as my "hello lush" post XD
Well time went on and this is where my story turns sad. I fell for her right when she was starting to become one of my closest friends (that's the short version pm me if your intrested in the long one) so of course it became strictly off limits. Well I eventually became her go-to guy for all things sexual, sensual, family or academic. Ugh let me skip more babble here as well. its been 2 years now and on and off I keep returning to her. We're still extreamly close and I've started feeling for her again.
So because I'm also the kind of guy who can't actually have emotion to my friends (the hard ass,makes jokes at peoples expense kind of fella) I had a friend try to convince her to go out with me, she goes on this rampage about how were just friends and how my friend need to keep his nose out of our business yada, yada, yada. My question here is do I have any options??? Or am I stuck here in this terrible friend zone?
Any words of encouragement or advice or ANYTHING would be great lol thanks
P.S the horrible grammar is why I don't write stories on here and this is actually the first I've ever posted on here period. So I guess this also counts as my "hello lush" post XD