I have been thinking a lot about who/what I am. I am married to a woman. I am happy with her and I love having sex with her. I think she is beautiful. I think women in general are beautiful and sexually attractive. But I also think some men are sexually attractive. Sometimes, I will be watching porn and get turned on imagining I'm the woman getting fucked and not the man doing the fucking. Or I'll see a man and think about sucking their cock or riding them. I feel like its only a sexual attraction. I am only turned on by some types of men and I never think about being in a relationship with any of them. Before I was married, I used to use dildos on myself, and one time I met with an older man but I got nervous since I was still a complete virgin (neither men or women at this point), so I chickened out. My wife knows I like my ass fingered and fucked. She has a vibrator that she uses on me sometimes and I love it. I think about being fucked while fucking her sometimes. Some of my best orgasms have been from prostate stimulation. I don't believe I have any hangups about this, (i.e., that I'm deeply closeted and in denial). Even the most in the closet gay guys I know confess to never actually being turned on by a women. I am being truly honest when I say I find women incredibly stimulating and sexually attractive. I am happy in my marriage and I love my wife. I am not trying to leave her or cheat on her either with a man or a woman. I simply enjoy being fucked in the ass sometimes. Now I truly believe that even the straightest of men can experience and enjoy prostate stimulation. Obviously, if I think about the idea of riding or sucking a cock, I'm a bit more flexible than that. But I truly never could see myself being in a romantic relationship with a man. It is a purely sexual attraction (and only with certain types of men, whereas with women I find myself attracted to a much wider variety). With men, I find myself primarily attracted to guys around my age who are fit, clean shave, and with a large cock. I find myself fixating primarily on their cock. I'm more interested in riding the cock or sucking it than making out or cuddling or doing anything else with a guy. With women, I am attracted to all types: older, younger, fit, curvy, thin, big, etc. Of course, to make matters more interesting, I am also very attracted to androgynous types, either male or female. Women who look like men, and men who look like women I find incredibly beautiful. I don't believe that sexual attraction is a binary...I think its a big sloppy beautiful grey area with little to no definitions. Who you are sexually attracted to is who you are and its all beautiful. So though I would say I am primarily attracted to women, I feel like my sexuality has a great deal of give to it. I'm simply curious to see what your thoughts are on this. What do you think is going on here? (I also believe that if most people are honest with themselves, they would find themselves in this head-space.)
