Here in hopes of exploring my submissive side. I love the idea of being discovered, of discovering new things about myself, and re-framing my current understandings, growing and pushing my own boundaries.

I want to know what it feels like to trust someone so much that I could let go of all the control that I'm so fiercely wound up in holding on to, that i could stop thinking so hard about everything, and just give myself over to....someone else's will. But that they would take care of me if I did that. It seems wrapped up in so much risk and vulnerability to let go. I don't ever really let go, because my job has always been to keep it together, keep other people together, or cared for. And I'm so....so tired of doing it (without any...respite?). I just wanted to retreat to a place where that isn't my role or purpose. 
The kind of connection I'm searching for is very keenly tied to the sexual element of this - I'm looking for a dynamic that forces me to open up the parts of myself i don't acknowledge or give voice to, being honest because it's demanded. I want to know what it feels like to be broken open, and pour myself into his hands, please him, and feel safe and challenged and lit up.

Mostly looking to connect. Hoping to come across people who will make me laugh as much as they make me blush. Make me think and maybe wonder. Satisfy a yearning that goes unmet. I spend my work life devoted to literal life/death circumstances, high stress and responsibility. So on occasion I wander here to unwind and indulge in the desire not to be in control.

Interests
mental connections, travel, sharing thoughts/experience, good food, watercolor, rescuing dogs, ceramics, reading, being challenged...

I thrive on sensation, on a roughness that stems from too much desire, from the feeling of being overwhelmed, from not having to make the decisions for once. I'm intrigued by the concept of power exchange. Seeking to explore other sides of myself, find an outlet for some extra energy going untapped. Plus I'm an impossible flirt and enjoy verbal sparring, exchanging banter and sass.

Favorite Books
Lighthousekeeping (Jeanette Winterson), Prodigal Summer (Barbara Kingsolver), Dandelion Wine (Ray Bradybury), A Field Guide to Getting Lost (Rebecca Solnit)

Favorite Authors
Jeanette Winterson, Barbara Kingsolver, Jorge Luis Borges, Pablo Neruda, Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Dave Eggars, Penny Reid, Dan Savage, David Sedaris, Milan Kundera

Favorite Movies
Harold & Maude, Take this Waltz, Benny & Joon, Princess Bride, The Normal Heart, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Goonies, About Time

Favorite TV Shows
The Good Place, Doctor Who, Brooklyn 99, Handmaid's Tale, Last Week Tonight

Favorite Music
as varied as my moods. see the videos for a random sampling of songs I love.