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How many times have you masturbated in a day?
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cathyrohan
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 37
United States
Forum
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There's something about the South African accent that does it for me. Also, Scottish and French.
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Oh, incognito is so much more fun!
Say you got up for something to drink in the middle of the night... Would you rather step on a LEGO or stub your toe?
Say you got up for something to drink in the middle of the night... Would you rather step on a LEGO or stub your toe?
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Just a thought. I find myself talking to either my dog or my cat like they're a person, and it got me thinking. If your pet could understand English for 5 minutes, what would you say to him/her?
To my dog:
1. Chew your food. Nothing interesting is happening around you anyways, you're not gonna miss anything.
2. You'll never catch that squirrel.
3. Please pick out one part of the yard and poop there. This isn't Iraq, my backyard shouldn't be a minefield.
4. After I bathe you, please at least wait until I can't see you before going off to roll around in the dirt.
To my cat:
1. 3am isn't the time for you to crawl up next to me and start your 30 minute grooming session. You have all day to do that.
2. The vacuum cleaner is not concentrated evil. It will not hurt you.
3. Please, hack up that hairball on the tile floor for once.
4. Not every can of food I open has your name on it.
Above all, I would want them to know how much they're loved and appreciated.
To my dog:
1. Chew your food. Nothing interesting is happening around you anyways, you're not gonna miss anything.
2. You'll never catch that squirrel.
3. Please pick out one part of the yard and poop there. This isn't Iraq, my backyard shouldn't be a minefield.
4. After I bathe you, please at least wait until I can't see you before going off to roll around in the dirt.
To my cat:
1. 3am isn't the time for you to crawl up next to me and start your 30 minute grooming session. You have all day to do that.
2. The vacuum cleaner is not concentrated evil. It will not hurt you.
3. Please, hack up that hairball on the tile floor for once.
4. Not every can of food I open has your name on it.
Above all, I would want them to know how much they're loved and appreciated.