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The_Young_Swell
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male
Canada
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by WellMadeMale
... If all you can do is forward me the latest (for you) internet joke that you've read - as a means of attempting to stay in touch with me, please refrain from doing so. You are only reinforcing my decision to quit communicating with you in the first place.


Can I have that, or something like it, on a tee shirt?

And another one about emails that Snopes has squelched three years ago,
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by chefkathleen
That was cute Bunny. Salt of the Earth boys.


Considering how salt affects growing vegetation, that's not a terribly apt metaphor, chefkathleen.
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The_Young_Swell
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Open your eyes for a moment, Scooter.





This is Jayne Mansfield from back in the day
when the Atomic Energy Commission wasn't
the only government agency worrying about
fallout.
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The_Young_Swell
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I don’t know why but somehow Muppets and 180-proof sarsaparilla just ain’t cutting it for me. We need a little racket and rhythm around here.

Jayne Mansfield’s no punishment, either.





The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) starring Jayne Mansfield, Tom Ewell and Edmond O’Brien (not to mention an uncredited Phil Silvers as the Milkman) featuring the music of Little Richard, Fats Domino, Eddie Cochran, The Platters and many more
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The_Young_Swell
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Great, Scooter, but of all the Angelina Jolie’s Leg meme photos that I’ve seen, this is still the best.





But that’s only my opinion. I really haven’t a leg to stand on.
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The_Young_Swell
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Roses are red
And quite deeply rooted;
So, their path from garden to girl
’s Convoluted
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The_Young_Swell
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Attention: Fizzgig

1. I have one last can of Classic Chicken Fancy Feast which I mistakenly bought nearly two years ago. One of these days you must stop turning up your nose at everything that isn’t fish.

2. The cat kibble is meant for you to eat if I’m too busy to feed you the exact instant you decide you’re hungry. It wasn’t intended to act as a hunger alarm that you rattle about in your bowl until it’s so irritating I have to stop what I’m doing and get your real tinned food out of the refrigerator.

3. If you insist upon preceding me from behind as I walk about the room, you’re going to get stepped on again.

4. It was cute, if sappy, when you started sleeping on my head as a kitten, but now you’re over two years old and weight more than ten pounds. Go sleep on your own pillow!

5. A lady from the next apartment building was trying to emulate us, walking her cat on a leash, dragging the poor thing spitting and snarling for half a block before she gave up. Now that you can talk, if you don’t tell her I won’t tell her that you are “walking” me, and not vice versa.

6. Keep up the good work as The Shoe Police. Any guy foolish enough to wear loafers with tassels on them deserves to be humiliated.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by Tank134
love bibi jones, but her photo won't come up

As of your last post, you must post 15 more times before you can post images.

But since you mentioned Bi Bi Jones


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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by scooter
I got this one, one young swell of a fella...


Thanks Scooter, your way sounds almost gentle.

My way is to sing to them, songs of the old sod (any old sod, so long as someone has written a song about him) in a voice of purest sulphur.

They fall asleep right quick, either through force of willpower, squeezing the pressure point above their throat until they pass out, or banging their head against the wall until the desired condition has been attained.

It’s a most effective weapon, but as you might imagine, not nearly selective enough for most occasions. More useful in quelling a riot, than an isolated incident of fisticuffs.
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The_Young_Swell
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Rose are red,
Their petals we strew.
If your tongue's in a knot,
Oh, dear, naughty you!


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The_Young_Swell
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Great Sermon, Rev!

By the way, I poured about half an inch of Captain Morgan Deluxe from my cane flask into the empty collection plate and set it down on the floor. Absolutely no one obstructed me when I left early, before the last “Amen” had died away.

Hey, I have a crappy car and need a good head start on the traffic toward the beach.





You'd be amazed at all the things I uncover there, buried in the sand.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by LadySharon
I've only seen one in a skin flick. I still don't know how Long Dong Silver managed to put that inside the girl



Long Dong Silver (aka Daniel Mead) was the proud owner of an 18-inch penis. He appeared in about a dozen porn videos during the late 1970's and early 1980's.





The time I saw it on film, I thought it was curious that, no matter how many hot women handling his dick, it never became tumescent.

Later it was learned that Daniel Mead's penis was a prosthetic, made from a flexible foam latex sleeve which was placed over Mead’s penis and glued down to his pubes." Mead’s phony dick had been made with the help of his photographer, who had earlier worked as a make-up artist on the film, “The Elephant Man.”


I’ve never seen anything outside of the normal range, but there was a joke going around in the days Long Dong Silver was making history. It was about a fellow with an even larger dick than Long Dong Silver, but they could never measure its full length.

Each time his dick started to become hard the guy passed out as all the blood rushed from his brain.
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The_Young_Swell
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Having just been there not too long ago, I suspect petiteone was attempting to post a photograph for us to enjoy, but failed, because of the 30 post delay on posting images.

I have no idea what petiteone, thought we would enjoy, but I will post a photo of something I think we might enjoy, and anyone else can post a photo of what they think we might enjoy, and perhaps, we will eventually post the photo petiteone intended us to enjoy.



I know I certainly would enjoy the carnival in Brazil.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by marcosurbina

Try not to get pictures distorted, say twist out of a proper or natural relation of parts, misshape.


Don't Worry about it, Bumpusmcgee, it almost never happens.


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The_Young_Swell
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I prefer Captain Morgan Deluxe, but have been known to drink anything, including – in my wild berserker youth – a form of brandy which I believe was manufactured exclusively for the cleaning of boots, or possibly leaching feces and urine from horses’ hooves.

Nothing to be concerned about, and besides, my walking stick is hollow. It can and does function as an emergency flask.
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The_Young_Swell
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Pignut is white and
Ragwort is yellow,
But no flower’s as wild as
Ones from a bordello.
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