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The_Young_Swell
Over 90 days ago
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Canada
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The_Young_Swell
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I experienced a remarkable occurrence over this past holiday weekend. (It is past in Canada. We celebrate on July 1st, Benedict Arnold’s birthday.

I came rushing over to the Honky Tonk, ringing a bell to inform Rumple that his still had caught fire. (What you didn’t know Rump had his own still? How else can he afford these prices?)

Anyway, I heard someone mention something about a Sister Busty and the next thing I knew a strapping lass came through the door and flashed me.

Well, I immediately forgot all about Rumple’s soon-to-be-airborne still and tried to take in all of the magnificently-endowed female pulchritude visible before me.

Mere mortal eyes, however, can neither conceive of, nor encompass such stupendous visions without some defense. To protect my poor enfeebled wits, my mind rapidly blew every fuse it possessed.

Now I can recall but hazily the glory which was unfolded – not to mention unclothed – before my eyes. I see but glimpses of the wonder, and then my mind switches to other images, equally majestic in its vast beauty perhaps, but ones not quite so likely to engender thoughts of conquest in the male psyche.





It was a profoundly moving religious experience of no common order, I am certain.

And I have no notion of where Rump’s still landed
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The_Young_Swell
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"Blowin' in the Wind"

That old Donovan song was sung at my wedding.

Had I been brighter, I would have been in the wind.
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The_Young_Swell
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At the wee bitching hour.

I only sought out Karma corn, but had to give it up because I kept getting the kernels stuck in my teeth.
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The_Young_Swell
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Roses are red
But rabbits are tasty.
You can't skin a rosebush,
And their hips make base tea.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by Abbey
Why isn't through spelled thru and two spelled tu. what's with threw, through, to, two, and too?


It IS spelled tu, twice.

But only in tutu.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by nicola

I don't need any of you. Just one slave to open cans and doors.


Quote by jerseylynn

They're showing ALF reruns!
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The_Young_Swell
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Roses are red,
But their stems are thorny.
If your halo's tarnished,
I'm gonna get horny.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by clum
... All For The Best was such a fun song (although it gets ridiculously fast towards the end and hence very difficult, especially when you have a simultaneous dance routine)...


This is true, but I am a fan of those ridiculously-fast patter songs and tongue-twister lyrics of Gilbet & Sullivan, like "A Modern Major-General in Pirates of Penzance or "I've Got a Little List" from The Mikado.

From Broadway, that I can think of off the top of my head, there is “Trouble[/I]” from The Music Man, which, while not performed at manic speed, does posses a daunting quantity of verbiage with no time allowed to pander to a faulty memory.


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The_Young_Swell
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In light of recent events, I’d like to point out that exactly one hundred and fifty-three years ago today, on June 30th, The Great Blondin (aka Jean-François Gravelet ), became the first person to cross the Niagara Falls gorge on a tightrope. The tightrope was a cable three-and-a-quarter inches in diameter, eleven hundred feet long, and one hundred and sixty feet above the water.







Undoubtedly, posters at RumpleForeskin’s Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar will be interested to know that halfway across, Blondin stopped to lower a rope to the first incarnation of the Maid of the Mist, and pull up a bottle to refresh himself before continuing on to the Canadian side. I could find no record of the contents of that bottle, but feel confident, considering the era, that any contemporary reports would have claimed it was Champagne.

Subsequently, The Great Blondin walked the falls many times under various theatrical handicaps — blindfolded, in a sack, pushing a wheelbarrow, on stilts, carrying his manager physically as well as financially, and once by sitting down midway above the gorge where he cooked and ate an omelet.

With that brief note from History, I'd like to wish all American Lushes, a happy Fourth of July Holiday, but before you drive home, please make certain you can walk a straight line.
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The_Young_Swell
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Quote by clum
Wish I'd had the chance to play Jesus in Godspell. Great musical to do.



Also, the video on my profile page is one of my best friends performing in Return To The Forbidden Planet. You can just see me in the background trying to remember my dance moves.


Sometime in 1973, I was lucky enough to attend a performance of the legendary Toronto production of Godspell, which is still remembered as an early credit for a group of performers who went on to even greater success. That 1972-3 Toronto production of Godspell provided the first regular acting job for Victor Garber, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Gilda Radner, Dave Thomas, and Martin Short. The musical director was Paul Shaffer.

Several members of this production left to form Second City in Chicago, while another group waited until the show's run in Toronto ended (488 performances, a Canadian record at the time) and then started the near-legendary SCTV series.

At the time, the audience was unaware that we had witnessed show business history in the making, but we did know we had seen a great performance.

Although "Day By Day" was the hit that came out of Godspell, "All For The Best" has always been my favorite from the show.


Anyone interested in learning more about the history of this production can look here.
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The_Young_Swell
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Roses are red –
With love they are mated –
But our love must fail
'Cause your neighborhood's gated.
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The_Young_Swell
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Besides her measurements, Jayne was Playmate of the Month in February 1955, made Blackwell's Worst-Dressed List in 1961 along with Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren and Shirley MacLaine (something is definitely fishy with that Blackwell fella), spoke five languages, had an I.Q. reputed to be 163, and had the torpedo-shaped front bumper extensions introduced on several American-made automobiles in the late-1950's nicknamed after her.

Oh, yeah, Jayne turned down the role of Ginger Grant in "Gilligan's Island,” and with Sophia Loren appeared in one of the all-time funniest classic candid celebrity shots from 1957.


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The_Young_Swell
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Two-hundred-and-fifty gallons of oatmeal were used in Jurassic Park III to simulate dinosaur droppings.
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The_Young_Swell
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Nuts*


chefkathleen has suggested "asshole" but I doubt that's fit to post.




* And that's not my word, either
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The_Young_Swell
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The World Health Organization has described something akin to what you mention as a dissocial personality disorder. The disorder is characterized by at least 3 of the following:

1. Callous unconcern for the feelings of others.

2. Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.

3. Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them.

4. Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence.

5. Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment.

6. Markedly prone to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into conflict with society.


If this is the sort of person you believe you have encountered, remember that they are suffering from a personality disorder which will make them suffer much more than they have made you suffer, providing that you forget the irritation they caused you, and do your utmost to avoid them in the future.
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