A couple of related questions.
1. Are you different in public and in private with your lover and how?
2. If you are a woman who has to make a lot of decisions in day to day life, is there a relief or comfort in relinquishing control behind closed doors? Do you think of this as submission
3. Are you on Lush because you feel you can't explore the sensual or whorish side of you. What success have you had finding like minded partners on Lush?
Interesting question.
There are women who are natural submissives which mean that they are submissive as a lifestyle.
More and more though there are another brand I've found which is women who have a lot of responsibility or have a demanding career who have to make a lot of decisions in their day to day life. They find a great release in handing over all control in the bedroom.
For me the distinction is power exchange vs fetishes. If a particular thing (e.g. being tied up, spanked) turns you on I'd say it was a fetish. If power exchange - being told what to do and getting arousal from going into a headspace where you don't get to decide what happens - gets your juices flowing, you're probably into D/s.
This is especially true if you like to switch. But that's another conversation.
An intelligent and articulate woman is a huge turn on.
Before I was married I had girlfriends who were thin, busty, athletic and soft. The commonality was that they had a strong sense of themselves and knew what they wanted. I have found that 80 percent of the arousal comes from the dynamic and how the exchange flows. The sapiosexual in me delights in the mindfuck. I have found that once the mind is delved into and well and truly fucked, the body willingly follows.
That journey and the shift are sublime and the biggest turn on for me.
And now its happening to me, but on my laptop. All sounds are turned off. Can't mute because I'm on a work call. Did any of you smart people figure out what the 411 is on this?
Interesting.
So as my confidence has grown I am more appreciative now of women, and compliment them in ways that could be considered moving on them.
Then there's the playing field. In real life, I will respond if there is a power exchange dynamic, but don't plan to consummate.
Online is where I commit my emotional adultery.
To me, married women who come seeking something else online are a kindred spirit, and if they are intriguing and catch my attention then yes I will be direct in expressing it.
I am a Dom. I envy those who can switch because they understand both sides.
I have not found somebody I can safely switch with although I have recently started talking to two Dommes.
@nicola Thanks for the response. Yes, if you edit volunteer or otherwise it does mean you have to know the site rules and protocol, so that makes sense.
I have another observation / question. If Stephanie is right and about 60% of the offerings never make light of day b/c they either break the rules or don't make the cut as it were, I'm wondering if there's a way to pre-empt it with some kind of warning text?
Lets say I had a great story about how my boss got by a bipolar chihuahua (I don't but now I might go write one), and when I clicked on submit I saw some clear text above the submission form that said ' , snuff, etc. etc. are verbotten on this site,' then I'd take my masterpiece and go elsewhere.
There's not much you can do to avoid bad writing. I will say though that its a shame because there are many people I know who have tried unsuccessfully to get stories published because their grammar is abhorrent. They have stories to tell though, and their imagination is just as vivid as those who know when to use "your" vs. "you're."
I wonder if there's a way to use crowdsourcing to connect the grammarati to the wretched yet deserving.
More things to muse on in my free time.
Helpful to know now that I've started writing again. One of the things that other sites (such as literotica) have is a stable of volunteer editors who are willing to read over your stories prior to publish. I haven't published on lit for a while, but I do know that stories I published where I attributed a listed editor always was shorter.
I know its not easy feat to assemble a list of would be editors. But perhaps we can low tech it in much the way that the D/s folks have used a forum thread for subs to ask for Masters?
Just thinking out loud here.
I much prefer moaners and grunters. These are the women who are trying to hold it in but can't.
I agree with some of the folks here though. More than the moaning, I love the ones who start getting more and more explicit as they care less and less as the session goes on.
I dated a screamer once in college. There was a particularly inspired night when I woke her up in the middle of the night to take her. She said a lot of things that night, and we heard all about it from my 3 dorm mates the next day at breakfast.
It was some of the best sex I had in college, but it did change my opinion on screamers.
I'm starting to write again. This is a good thing. As I do however, I am finding I have miniseries level storylines floating through my head.
As I am attempting to pen (or type in this day and age) one of the stories I am seeing that there are certain characteristics that make up good erotica.
So I am wondering what you other authors do to take a storyline and keep it interesting for a reader that comes online looking for erotica?
To me, good literature includes sexuality. An intense flash scene needs to be steamy and raunchy. How do you keep yourself in the middle ground and keep your readers entertained?
I suppose a good corollary question is whether you write for yourself or for your audience, but I'll leave that for another thread.
I am currently in this situation where I started a story somewhere and it went somewhere else. I also have the situation where I didn't get to the sex quickly enough and as a result I believe I have lost reader interest. I do need to finish this storyline out to some reasonable conclusion, but this exercise has got me thinking about what good erotica really is?
So this is interesting as I've often smelled my own cum but never tasted it. I recently started speaking to a very interesting Domme who inquired about this - about swallowing my cum.
The reason why I have never done it to date is because I never had a reason to. Probably because I am dominant in bed and most of the interactions are guided by me.
I absolutely love going down on my partner, and enjoy how her juices taste.
When I think about it, I've probably tasted my own pre-cum since I often go down on my partner or sub after I've been inside her. I think the interim foreplay adds to the sense of desperation.
I think I will enjoy it, and will probably taste it at some point. If the thread is still running I'll let you know my verdict.
I received a fair amount of road head when my wife and I were courting and in our first years of marriage. The best incident was in fact when we were on our way to our friend's wedding. she was in progress when we got to a toll booth and she kept going all the way through.
Her reasoning was that she'd never see the person again.
As the years have gone by, and the kids came around we don't do much of those things anymore.
I will agree with some of the other comments here that it does require some concentration - as it can very quickly become distracting. It does give the relationship a little spark tho, to do things like this from time to time.
Well I'm a drummer and I'm here to testify that its not all musicians who get the women.
The damn guitarists always get the girls because they are out in front. It takes too much damn time to pack the drums up and then go chat up the chicks.
In all seriousness, there's certainly an energy that women exude when they're in the audience and listening, especially to hand drums like tablas and dumbeks.
The base tones create a viscreral reaction at the diaphragm level.
Thanks for being so responsive Nicola,
Appreciate the info, as well as the insight based on the numbers.
Yes, matching up to 1% seems to be about the right balance.
Now for the harder question about attainability of all non- stories.
I'm planning on writing an story myself, based on the wisdom of John Cusack, who said that he did his blockbuster movies just so he had the means to go off and work on the projects that interested him.
Cheers
TD
So the important thing is to know how to read this excellent advice and see that we are all trying to help your career and life goals.
There are many good reasons to fuck your sister-in-law. But in preparation, make sure you do the following
1. Have a voyeur cam installed. Jerry Springer will pay more for your spot on the show if you have some footage.
2. Anonymously call 'Wife Cheaters' and give them your wife's number as a hot tip. Plus this way you won't have that 'holy shit!' expression on your face at the intervention.
3. Practice good enounciation in front of the mirror. It would suck to set all this stuff up and then slur on national television. Also, don't slouch.
Do the deed.
I'd recommend that you do the television spots after the split happens. If not, your wife will get half.
good luck. Make sure you come and tell us how it worked for you. We're inquiring minds and we want to know.
TD
Great perspectives here. I'll give mine, and its a personal view.
I'm staying for the kids.
The reason is that I saw research that said kids are much better adjusted if they have both parents around, as long as its not abusive.
I've also seen kids that have trouble adjusting to split schedules and split lives.
I have an arrangement with my wife that we will work on being good parents.
In our situation, we agree on that front. So some of the other stuff is not there, but that's something I'm willing to put aside for the time being if it helps my kids.
If things get to a point where there's constant fighting or tension, and it is affecting the kids, then there's no reason to stay.
So, current position is a parent partnership relationship with a set of boundaries and a baseline set of expected behaviors and courtesies.
TD
I agree. I'm Indian myself, and a lot of my cousins are marrying white women.
Friends of ours have daughters marrying white guys.
So the one thing about dating is that unless the families are really progressive, the Indian girl or the Indian guy will likely not take bf or gf home to 'meet the family'.
It's likely to be illicit. I dated American and Chinese girls during college. I never told my parents.
So, question if you're asking about being accepted by your girlfriend/boyfriend's family, then don't date Asian or Indian girls.
If you find them attractive, then I can tell you that Indian women date white guys very often. Actually that's not gender biased. Indian guys date white women a lot as well, and even marry them.
TD
Might be that the answer is in a thread somewhere else, but are there groups of writers that put multi-chapter stories together?
Either chain writing, to see where the story leads and to keep your writing chops sharp, or using the power of multiple perspectives to have a broader set of characters who are developed more thoroughly because each contributor takes responsibility for a character or two?
Have never done it, but think it would be a great exercise.
Of course I don't know what I don't know about the pragmatic reality of trying such a thing and what the pitfalls are.
A question for Gav.
So the 50K page views, is that views by users who are logged in? Or is it anonymous views?
Cos if the 1-9-90 rule is in effect, you're getting about 800K to 900K unique visitors who either dont have a profile or don't log in?
Just curious.
I was thinking about this a little more (dangerous I know).
Maybe one thing to consider is an estimation exercise.
Figure out how many famous stories you want in a month, a year.
Look at what the top non- story limits are and determine a threshold using that.
Of course all this is moot given you moved the bar down to 50K.
What I should do is go write some stories rather than debate the recognition system functions.
TD
