Dirty,
Those are pretty good and we gotta have humor to help swallow apostrophes.
Sunlover
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Sunlover
Over 90 days ago
Male, 154
United States
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Active Ink Slinger
Here is a link to a great graphical web page explaining the complexities of apostrophe for more visually oriented writers:
theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe
(since I cannot post live links you have to add an "http://" to the front of that to make it work...)
theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe
(since I cannot post live links you have to add an "http://" to the front of that to make it work...)
Active Ink Slinger
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1.Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8.Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.Testicle, n.. A humorous question on an exam.
12.Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Love it!
And the winners are:
1.Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8.Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.Testicle, n.. A humorous question on an exam.
12.Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Love it!
Active Ink Slinger
Where did some of our favorite cliched phrases come from? Sometimes you can give even a worn out cliche some new and interesting life in a story if you know something about its provenance.
I'll start with "piss poor" and the related "not a pot to piss in".
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery . . . if you had to do this to survive.....you were “piss poor”
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot . . . they “didn’t have a pot to
piss in” and were the lowest of the low.
Do you have a good one to contribute?
I'll start with "piss poor" and the related "not a pot to piss in".
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery . . . if you had to do this to survive.....you were “piss poor”
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot . . . they “didn’t have a pot to
piss in” and were the lowest of the low.
Do you have a good one to contribute?
Active Ink Slinger
I second the concept of the earlier post that we should distinguish between the narrative and the dialog. The phrase being used incorrectly in dialog may be exactly what the writer intends in order to show us more about the character in the story. Think of Italian mafioso dialog in the Godfather movies as just one of many examples.
Active Ink Slinger
Not really a pair, but the misuse of "myself" when "me" is correct runs rampant in the world. The easy way I remember the correct way to use either one is this: mentally strip away everything but the subject and the verb and use "myself" and then "me" in the sentence or phrase in question - usually the absurdity of the "myself" usage punches you in the nose.
Example from a story on Lush (not picking on anyone, there's plenty everywhere...):
"This story was co-written by X and myself....
That is an incorrect usage of "myself". Most people only get into this pickle when they use "myself" in this kind of tandem pairing - "X and myself".
Strip it down to this: "This story was written by myself" - that should immediately just sound and look wrong to you. The story was written by me.
Try it and see if it helps!
Best of all would be to throw the passive voice under the bus and write it this way: X and I wrote this story. Shorter. Punchier.
Example from a story on Lush (not picking on anyone, there's plenty everywhere...):
"This story was co-written by X and myself....
That is an incorrect usage of "myself". Most people only get into this pickle when they use "myself" in this kind of tandem pairing - "X and myself".
Strip it down to this: "This story was written by myself" - that should immediately just sound and look wrong to you. The story was written by me.
Try it and see if it helps!
Best of all would be to throw the passive voice under the bus and write it this way: X and I wrote this story. Shorter. Punchier.