Hi, I'm Ron I guess I joined a while ago but just came here to fill this out. Something odd happened to me. And I've got some things to think/reflect on...

I've been on and off the site for a few years, I'm out of college now, trimmed black hair, beard and a mustache, 5' 8" 155#'s pale in the winter living in the northern Midwest - tanned in the summer, blue eyes.

Here because of several situations I've gotten into, where I've been questioning my sexuality.
I'll be turning 21 at the end of the month, Thought I'd actually explore how I'm feeling about the realization that I might... Well let me explain.

I've had several guys, come on to me in the past. I've always said, just snorted in derision and played it off like I was declining an offer of a toke on a joint. "just say no." But, I actually said, "Thanks, but no thanks..." Just being polite in my own mind.

One time a professor was in the bathroom with me after a class, and at the urinal, when I shook, he chuckled, and said. "More that two shakes is playing with it..."
I just left and thought that was weird...

One time at a party a guy told me,
"i'd love to be Your tinkerbell, Peter..."
And he reached out to cup my crotch, he kind of pawed at me as he acted like he had weak knees or something... It was crowded and I was pushed into him, I heard him groan, and I spun away and left.


Well, fending things off had worked till I was introduced to Lane - a friend of a different Professor, I was more or less friends with that professor, and he said we had a lot in common. And we got together at either of their homes to do things, movies, cook out, or watch sports, play cards.

Anyhow, I hadn't known that the professor's friend, Lane was Bi/gay, and was attracted to me, he seemed like a guy's - guy. After I'd known him for a while, He and I were alone one time, and he asked me if I'd like to come over to his house - just the two of us - to watch TV or what ever.
And, that we could grill out. I hesitated, but, when he said he'd pick up rib-eye steaks, I agreed - immediately - He knew I really like rib-eyes.

I don't know if I need to explain, but I'm was in college and really miss grilling out, and didn't have a tv... So it was an attractive offer.

Ok, speaking of attractive, I guess I'm admitting not really just explaining... But I'd always wanted to be Big when I was growing up, but I'm only 5'8" and Steve is 6'8 I was a kicker in High School, but Steve could have been a professional Line Backer... shaking my head....

Anyhow, after we'd grilled out, and had a couple of drinks - I don't like beer, so he bought some rum for me. We went inside and watched a movie, some comedy. Shrugs

We were sitting on the sofa together. I had a sore neck and was cracking it, when Steve asked what if I were ok. I explained that I'd been out on a hike and had been picking some Mulberries and had my head tilted back for too long, it was just sore. Steve offered to get a pain pill/ Tylenol, but i wasn't feeling absolutely trustworthy about that, and besides I don't take meds very often.
So I declined, but Steve told me that I looked like I was miserable, and asked if he couldn't rub my neck, or give me a massage.

I shrugged, not thinking anything of it, and said, sure. Focusing on the show and my drink. Oh Steve smoked a pipe too, so we had that in common. I took it up last year. He set his pipe aside and sat back into the sofa, and spread his legs, patted the cushion between his legs and nonchalantly said, "C'mere..."

I hadn't thought anything of it earlier, but he had been asking me "easy" questions all night, things I always said yes to.
So since I was kind of conditioned to going along with what ever he asked, said, did, I just went ahead and moved over. I just looked to the side when he patted the cushion and got up a little, squatting and shuffled over and plopped down on the edge of the couch, between his knees.

He just started doing that karate chopping thing on the sides of my neck/shoulders. And it felt amazing, and I said so, as my shoulders relaxed and slumped. Feeling myself relax even more. I didn't notice he shifted himself forward, or that I'd shifted back a bit. We were both watching the movie, and chuckling.

When i became aware of a pressure against my lower back, and realized he was getting hard. i must have tensed up, because he grabbed my shoulders/neck as he said, "wow, some of your muscles are really tight, you might have a muscle spasm, just relax and let me work this tension out.

I wasn't sure, but was willing to let it slide. I shrugged - a usual thing for me shook my head and twisted my neck enjoying the feeling of relaxed tendons and muscles. Then I noticed him breathing in "sniffing" at the base of my neck. Now, I was a little worried/perturbed. Steve said, "Wow, you smell so sweet, what's your cologne?"

I started laughing, as I realized that it was my bug spray. And I told him. thinking the awkwardness was over.

But, then he leaned into me with his chest pressing into my back, pulling on my shoulders, as his head came over my shoulder as he used his chin to nuzzle into my neck, and I could feel that it was a throbbing erection that was now pressing into the small of my back.

Steve said in an amazingly deep rumbling growling sigh, "I hope I'm not bugging you, But, I'd love to make us feel even better than we do right now." as he kissed my neck and his arms slipped around and down my chest raking his fingers into my chest muscles, pulling him more deeply against him. He moved his hand down my tummy and down my thighs gripping them, then pulling his hands between my thighs, pulling them apart, then over to the outside, under my knees, lifting them up and over his legs, tilting me back as hi thrust his pelvis forward into my bottom, then slowly he pulled his hands up my inner thighs, until his hands were cupping over my crotch.

I was freaked out, at what happened, and at my bodies squirming reaction. (Because it really did still feel really - awesomely wonderful)

I gulped with difficulty, and managed a croaking, "Thanks b-but, No Thanks..." a little weakly.

I could feel his rumbling laugh and he moved me with him, as he said.
"That, little boy blue-balls, was not, a No..."
Then he said, "I'm the black sheep on my family..." Then in a sing song, started a nursery rhyme...
"Baa Baa, Black sheep, have you any wool?"
then he paused, and cupped me in his hands and jiggled them, cupping my sack..,. and i realized he wanted me to play along - and He intended that i play a submissive part in His little game.
i must admit that it felt good, i hadn't been with anyone since i found my girlfriend cheating on me with another guy from classes... But i was nervous, but - it felt good, and oh so comfy... And, he'd lulled me into a false - or not so false - sense of security with Him...

So, i cleared my throat and nodded,
"Yes, Sir, yes, Sir, T Three bags, full..." And he groaned again, and i felt his thumb and fingers digging into my crotch as he pushed his thumb up under my penis to cup my 'Bag'... He whispered in my ear, "I'm going to empty those bags, they're too full for a good little boy like you to carry around... all by yourself... Don't you agree, little boy-blue balls?"

i gulped, and shuddered, as i felt his other hand unzipping my fly, and my body was squirming, twitching, convulsing and spamming from all the sensations, endorphins and emotions that were overwhelming me.

He continued in His deep sing song voice: Unbuttoning my pants, and slipping his right hand under the waistband of my undershorts, his wrist pressing my chubby out of the way as He possessively grabbed my bag and pulled his hand up with my nuts flowing up above his fist. "MMmmm" He moaned. He said, repeat after me, little boy blue-balls... squeezing and pulling my bag up... "One for my Master..." He paused...

His left hand reached up my body to take my throat in his hand, and his thumb easily caressed my neck and ear as his fingers circled my windpipe.

i gulped and blinked, a tear falling from my eye. "One f for my m m Master" i modulated my voice to stress the capitalization of Master when he gripped my throat when i started to stutter.... and he praised me with a verbal "good-boy" and a thrust from his pelvis. i struggled to breathe, because of the dichotomy between how good and bad it felt, both at the same time!!!

He continued, "me for my Domme..." i quickly repeated that...

Then he said, "And i give myself as His little boy blue-balls, to Lane!"

I guess he could feel my discomfort, and he let me go. I got up and brushed myself off... (I didn't know what I was thinking But I knew I was in a battle inside between what part of my mind was telling me and what my body and another part of me felt.)

So, Lane apologized, said that he thought I knew he was gay, and that He liked me... (Which really blew my mind) He said he hoped that I would be able to talk about what happened another time, and that he'd drive me to my dorm if I wanted him to.

I told him, "No Thanks" which made us both snort with laughter. and a bit of the fright must have left my eyes, because he said. "you'll be fine, we'll talk... I just felt really close to You, and so comfy... I wanted to make you feel as good as I feel when we'er together..." He shrugged, "I'm sorry... I can be a bit - Assertive, I guess, with someone who's not used to that. And You seem very submissive, but not used to enjoying, accepting or admitting that - Yes"

And I walked out the door, saying "I need to walk."

I couldn't fend off where my thoughts roamed as I walked back to my dorm.


Is that a bio??? Let me know what I'm supposed to have written. I'll most likely change this as I go...???

Interests
Hunting, fishing, reading, sketching, photography, sculpting, playing music - bamboo flute, gardening, woodworking, poetry, hiking, camping, painting, pottery. Studying Business and Art

Favorite Books
Philosophy, historical fiction - for some weird reason Napoleonic era what if novels. Series like: Sharpe's Rifles, Captain and Commander, the Hornblower series. Jane Austin Novels, Pride and Prejudice was hilarious for example. shrugs

Favorite TV Shows
meh...

Favorite Music
shrugs, playing more than listening