When someone wants their poetry critiqued, I get serious with the numbers.
It has nothing to do with liking or not liking or if the content is a personal turn on/off to me.
5: Can't really be written any better and it reads effortlessly as is
4: Not quite there - just needs a little TLC - perhaps has a few minor distractions that can easily be remedied
3: You managed to effectively communicate a story to the audience
2: Needs medical attention above and beyond fixing mere typos
1: You just wasted 5 minutes of my life that could have been spent reading and critiquing a serious attempt at poetry
Add +1
- if it was poetic ( merely rhyming does not qualify )
- if it was lyrical to the point that the reader sings it ( again, merely rhyming does not qualify )
- for originality ( and when it comes to erotic poetry, originality is a definite plus )
- for doing the seemingly impossible ( like making the high school lunch lady sexy )
- for giving the reader something unexpected ( think Hitchcock )
- for a valiant effort at giving the reader his money's worth of entertainment
Side note.
Low scores can also result from clumsy sausage fingers on smart phones and tablets.
Unless someone claims responsibility for 1 bombing you, don't automatically assume you were 1 bombed.
I get a boner every time I write something knowing the mods at Stories Space will play Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock to see who gets stuck with it.
I was referring to the poem.
Not my boner.
Well, can you see yourself surviving the next one?
If my non-erotic non-love poetry makes someone else nauseous or induces vomiting, I usually take it as a compliment.
100 pages. Hand written. College ruled paper. Back in the Fifth Grade. Was even allowed to do a book report on it.
No word counting software back then.
Write for yourself first because you enjoy it and everyone else second even if some don't like it. There's always going to be people who won't like it for this or that reason, most of whom you will never hear from. The absolute best movie ever filmed in your opinion? Someone doesn't like it. Best song on the radio in your opinion? Someone doesn't like it. Not everything is liked. Focus on the people you know who will like your poem.
It's equally important to ask questions first and shoot later if necessary.
To keep the thread on track:
Writers
Can't help themselves
Always getting in the last word
Now, in the spirit of short poem .............
The typographical error of your ways
Is a hypodermic needle full of nonsense
Interrupting my entire fucking universe
Seeing as how a mod here named Dani saw fit to chastise me with a warning and threaten suspension for my having the audacity to ridicule someone else's poetry, please allow me to clarify my comment in the proper context of the opinion I volunteered.
Yes, it takes talent to communicate emotions or a wealth of information or even many messages simultaneously using as few words as possible.
My comment was regarding individuals who do not even participate on this site, who see fit to litter the queue's of other publishing sites with 1 to 3 letter poems that don't convey anything other than wasted time and bandwidth.
I get enough false accusations and hasty assumptions about my poetry off the board as it is. If you or anyone have difficulty grasping or coping with my opinions volunteered in the forum, all you have to do is ask for a further explanation and I will be happy to oblige.
There are other sites to publish poetry at where so many conclusions aren't jumped to.
Thank you for listening.
Whenever I see a quaint poem, I tend to glide on by like a gentle summer breeze.
When I see a poet churn out numerous quaint poems, submit them for publishing on the Internets and sit back waiting for praise while said quaint poems clog up new poem queues ..... I get pissed off and write poems about them. Real poems. Poems that take some effort create. Poems that drip and ooze your intention of giving the reader his money's worth.
This concludes your public service announcement from Magnetron.
In the event of a real emergency, bend over with your head tucked between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
Adapt Or Die ( From Porn Tube Junkie To Upload Monkey )
Got it all figured out now
A way to game the system
Pretend to be Anonymous
Steal a video from your store
Upload it to a YouTube knockoff
Supposedly not mine
Receive legal notice to take it down
Pay the Zero Dollar fine
By then I've stolen fifty more
I adapt
Take from this content producer
Borrow from that sponsor's site
In no time flat
Overnight
Build an online mega warehouse
Giving away everything I jacked for free
All above board
Legally
That it may not be ethical
Is not my concern
Biology Room 101
The lesson you need to learn
I'm adapting
While you all fall behind
Evolving
Climbing the ladder of success
So fucking what if
Your backs are the bottom rungs
Don't take it personally
It's just called Forward Progress
Or better yet, catchphrase
Say it with me now
Adapt or Die
I adapt
While you die
Man, so damn many valid reasons why
Jet skis, in ground swimming pools
Vacation homes, half a dozen sports cars
While you sit there crying over spilled milk
Like a bunch of broke ass loser fools
I'm making bank, partying hard
Ripping twenty minute video scenes
Rating each Five Stars
I'm adapting
From your average porno pimp
Evolving
Into an upright walking upload chimp
Trash talking in the online forums
Laying the smack down
About how you can't touch me
Bros like me rule this town
Let me sum it up
This industry?
It's all about me
Mine to run over roughshod rampant as I please
No longer dwelling in Mom's basement
Got my own place now
Living large in a palace
Boo-hoo
Threatened with foreclosure, you cry foul
About how I give away your merchandise freely
As I auction high volume banner space
Boasting enlargement of the phallus
Worldwide
From everywhere people flock
Like flies congregate on shit
They don't even know the truth of it
Stupid horny bastards
In such a hurry to jerk themselves off
Millions of insignificant insects
Whipping out their tiny dicks
While a percentage write electronic checks
Purchasing the latest cock supersizing fix
Because I give them such a great deal
They keep coming back
Through every social bookmark and pin tack
Can't seem to get their fill
So what if I can't sell the sex I steal?
Front page of Google, Bing,
Here is the real deal
I'm crowned King of the Hill
Illusion search engine bots can't see though
My vast empire of porn
Unscathed by your loathing
Not phased by your scorn
Sitting high in my ivory banana tree
Where you can never touch me
Zero business experience
Not a single college degree
Just your average porno junkie pimp
Who chose to adapt
Evolving into an upright walking upload chimp
Nothing complicated here
So simple a monkey can do it
I highly suggest you should give it a try
Adapt
Or
Die
I do tend to play with myself way too much.
I've personally posted in a few other forums under a minimum of 5 identities. Until people figured out who I was ( which very few did ), it was fun and challenging because it forced me into a position of having to put out 5X as much poetry on daily basis.
Even the mods here doing a background check have stumbled upon a forum where I literally have conversations with myself.
Tribulations ( Lesbo Techno )
Sally, why are you staring at me like that?
Tribulations
Tribulations
Tribulations across the nations
Young ladies in awkward social situations
Sequel to the best time of their life
Spent in sorrow, joy and strife
Living for today inspite of tomorrow
Embracing their college years
Dormitized with all their peers
It's realized, don't act surprised
Deep down inside
They're all queers
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
Experimentations
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
With sexual orientations
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
Indoctrinations
Breaching the gates of
In late night same sex fornications
Moaning and groaning
Writhing mass of flesh and limbs
Legs spread apart
Wishboning one another
Hips grinding lips
T-boning
Under sheets, in shower stalls
Denial crumbles, resistance falls
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
Rachel, why is your hand on my knee?
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
Lick it right there, Stephanie - oh yeah!
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
Susie, why don't you come over here
[font=Fixedsys]bounce bounce[/font]
And stick your finger in my
[font=Fixedsys]bounce[/font]
==========================
Techno Lesbos
duda doot doot doo
duda doot doot doo
dadoot
Zirconia bespeckled knuckles fill the air
Budding breasted bodies caught up in the throes
Brandishing glowsticks about without any care
A seascape froth with luminescant dildos
Where they are
Anymore
Nobody knows
Where everything and anything goes
Where am I
What am I here for
Do you suppose?
Surrounded by raving techno lesbos
Downing Extasy like it was dimestore candy
Drowning in a flood of sweet but sour seratonin bliss
Every now and then
A stranger's press-on nails groping me
While all I want to do is to take a piss
And crawl out the bathroom window
Any excuse to escape the ebb and flow
But the tide keeps drawing me further away and out
I tread my way through the waves of doubt
While the natives just continue
To jump and shout
Where am I
What am I here for
Do you suppose?
Surrounded by raving techno lesbos
Where they are
Anymore
Nobody knows
Where everything and anything goes
Was I born this way?
Was it something that I chose?
What's it say about me
Associating
With all these dryhumping
Intoxicated hoes?
Should I just give in
Let curiosity win
Let them pass me around
Surf the wave and never look back
Abandon sanity and all reason
Foresake dry ground?
Is the answer floating somewhere
In a glass bottle?
duda doot doot doo
duda doot doot doo
dadoot
==========================
Delta Sappho Eta Pi
Everyone
It's time to play Spin The Bottle
Let's see who's got the hots for who
And do some jello shots too
Here's one for me
Here's three for you
Are you feeling the buzz yet
You know it doesn't get
Any better than this
Everyone
Get ready for a game of naked Twister
Let's have all bimbos report to the mat
Grab a sorority sister
Don't dawdle, don't linger
'Cause that's where the action's at
And while your at it, don't be shy
If you stumble upon a leaking
Plug the hole with your finger
Are you feeling the buzz yet
Are you fondling my fuzz yet
You know it doesn't get
Any better than this
Everyone
Who's up for a game of shirts 'n skins volleyball?
For a net, you can use my double D cups
And stretch them from wall to wall
Try not to spike it too hard
And should you happen to perform a muff dive
There's plenty of soft feather pillows
And silicone to break your fall
Are you feeling the buzz yet
Are you fondling my fuzz yet
Are your panties moist and wet
You know it doesn't get
Any better than this
Sapphic Sisters
Of Delta Sappho Eta Pi
I pledge my allegience
To the great Goddess in the sky
And vow to be the best Sister that I can
By refusing to swap spit with any man
I now pronounce myself Lesbian
On the technicality
That I've experimented with being Bi
Are you feeling the buzz yet
Are you fondling my fuzz yet
Are your panties moist and wet
You know it doesn't get
Any better than
Slumber parties on the floor
Sleeping bags for two or more
You know it doesn't get
Any better than
Painting your girlfriend's toes
Impromptu lingerie fashion shows
You know it doesn't get
Any better than
THIS
Here's To The Lies
You're courting center stage
With the man who was my lover
Oh, it's such an honor
Armored in this hideous chiffon gown
Even though an hour ago
You ducked into the coatroom, undercover
Where his brother's sweaty fingers
Pulled your smelly G-string down
I wish you both
All the joy and happiness
In the world
As I stand here
Biting my tongue
With my knuckles curled
Tightly around this bouquet
Blood fleeting from my fingers
As I abstain from objecting
To this mockery on display
If only I could sincerely
Say that I really didn't care
Counting the promises broken
That I wouldn't even dare to go there
But, here I am, once again
Hiking that familiar worn out trail
Tempted to snap a champagne flute
Impale her eyes behind that veil
And then,
I come to my senses
this is where I begin to see the Light
The realization settling in
almost like a private choir singing for me and only me
It does the heart no good to get mad
which causes my heart to rejoice, lifting in spirit
Because I know what truly matters
And that is,
I'll be getting even
Till death
May you never part
And forever dwell in bliss
Of the stupidity and ignorance
That culminated
In this
Betrothal of betrayal
This
Sordid matrimonial tale
Without a prayer
In the very least
In God I trust
This union to fail
Here's to the lies
And to venereal disease from all the guys
Banging that revolving door of a snatch
You have come to so dearly prize
Over the love I gave you
With the exception of one lousy night
In which you fucked her behind my back
And now,
She serves you right
==================================
Here's To The Lies
Get down
How low will you go
To stay the execution
Delay the parade from Death Row?
To where with the brine soaked skull
When in the moment pivotal
Society cleaves and cooks the meat
From the breastbone of your soul
Will you appeal, insist it wasn't real
By pleading insanity or in an act of vanity
Sign a perverse and cursed Faustian deal?
In a pathetic sloughing of whatever ethics
Miserably clinging with lichened fingers
To the rigored conscience that still lingers
And fills your ears with dull ringing
Before your last rites are read
The shroud is pulled over your head
What will you have to say for yourself
That you haven't already said?
Before your eyes bulge out of their sockets
And warm urine streams into your pockets
What will you have to say for yourself
That you haven't already said?
Will there be honesty?
Will there be regret?
Or more of the same truncated
Obfuscated truth
We haven't heard yet?
Sit down
Trial run before the big show
Visualize the racked and tortured faces
The people you've come to know
To whom you don't owe an explanation
For what you continue swearing you never comitted
As the guards with care, measure and tailor
The high voltage suit to be fitted
And the Warden tips his head back
Downs a flask of gin
Saying as he wipes his chin,
Here's to the lies
===========================
Here's To The Lies
What does it take
To be a blatant hypocrite?
One part twit, two parts
Unevolved idiot
Never shaken, but always
Stirring up shit
Pathological liar
That never can quit
When she's behind
Well, drinks are on me
This time around
And I think that I'll be kind
Hey, Mister, would you please
Pour a round for the little lying bitch
At the end of the bar
'Cause there's no end to the joy
That it brings me to hear her
Unsubstantiated accusations from afar
What she's incapable of proving
That in the end, ten times out of ten
She gets herself caught in the act of doing
It's the lifelong lesson
She's never learned thus far
I don't foresee her learning it anytime soon
Even now
Ankle deep like water
Bullshit is filling up the room
There's not much more about her to tell
That through her incriminations
She doesn't already confess
If anything, I'd say
It has everything to do with
A leak in the plumbing of her subconscious
I'd suggest you hike up your fancy dress
'Cause the hem of your latest Fruedian slip
Is bound to become a dirty mess
But it would only encourage
Having my name dragged through the mud
So why even bother?
I'll just take comfort in the old saying
[I]You're a broad with a paper asshole[/I]
Inherited from my father
What does it take
To be a blatant hypocrite?
One part twit, two parts
Unevolved idiot
So, I raise my glass
Here's to the lies
Coming back to bite you in the ass
If there's anything
I'm willing to drink to
And drown myself in
That would certainly be it
For authors stuck in a rut or even experiencing writer's block.
Here is a exercise for ANYONE to try:
Write about a general idea as if you were several people, meaning yourself and perhaps up to 4 others.
Your own Poet's Club. Like a Book Club, but instead of everyone reading the same book and each giving your assessment - each of you writes the same book your own way.
You will discover that you have some alter egos itching to express themselves and when they do - their rhyme schemes, styles, tone and perspectives will be different.
You will discover that while one or two of you enjoy writing about sex and love, the others may be more interested in religion or politics or just having fun writing wacky songs.
Everything I read, I do so from an impartial state because I anticipate giving feedback positive or negative when necessary.
Eventually I will get frustrated with other authors if I see them drawing water from the same well too often. This could mean harping on the same topic over and over or employing the same predictable 4 line quatrains.
This being a sex stories site, topic is limited. One would have to read an author's contributions to both Lush and StoriesSpace in order to accurately judge their body of work.
I will start another topic as advice in helping ANYONE get out of a rut.
Mwuahahaha
There's always a grammar nitpickerer laying in wait behind the bushes like a Highwayman.
Why, it was just last week that in thread of poetry celebrating the Lord Of The Rings by Tolkien, someone who had nothing to offer but rants about Peter Jackson mangling the movies criticized my use of your[/I] instead of you're[/I]. I didn't have the heart to take his victory away by mentioning it was a tablet auto-correction.
What a Great Begatsby this thread is turning out to be.
Ever met a poet who didn't play with his words at the dinner table?
We're like auto mechanics who spend all day fixing up everyone else's cars while we let the wheels fall right off our own.
