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LustOrLush
Over 90 days ago
Female, 53
United States
Forum
Anything goes! I don't mind, and sometimes very much like, being called a dirty whore or a hot little bitch or whatever. There is no word or phrase that is off limits. It all can add to the intensity of the moment. We all like being naughty, and thinking of ourselves as naughty, and this psychological stimulation can be almost as hot as physical stimulation.
Honestly, I have no trouble separating what a man says outside of bed from what he says during a passionate bout of dirty sex. I think that is key. As long as I am treated with respect outside of bed, I have no problem with what a man says in bed. I think it is good policy to keep political correctness out of the bedroom.
Honestly, I have no trouble separating what a man says outside of bed from what he says during a passionate bout of dirty sex. I think that is key. As long as I am treated with respect outside of bed, I have no problem with what a man says in bed. I think it is good policy to keep political correctness out of the bedroom.
I like using it or hearing it during sex or dirty talk. I'm more likely to say pussy, but sometimes I'll use cunt if the mood strikes.
Once in a great while I will use it as an insult when speaking about somebody. I don't mind hearing it...it does not offend me. I really can't understand why some people get so upset by the word.
Once in a great while I will use it as an insult when speaking about somebody. I don't mind hearing it...it does not offend me. I really can't understand why some people get so upset by the word.
I haven't had what I would call an "affair" with a married men, but I have slept with 3 married men. These were purely just sex...I never viewed them as relationships/boyfriends or anything with potential. One was a one night stand with a man who was in town on business. The other two were men I would just see every once in a while.
They were great experiences for me because they were all at times in my life when I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was too preoccupied with work and other things. It was a great way to fill my sexual needs while not taking my focus off of other parts of my life.
For the record, I didn't chase or pursue any of these men. Two I met online, and the third I met out one evening and there was just an instant mutual attraction. In all cases, the sex was fantastic...part of it may have been the whole forbidden fruit thing.
Out of curiosity, I asked two of them why they cheated. Both spoke very highly of their wives...claimed to love them. One said that after you are together for so long, you just want somebody new once in a while for excitement. The other said his wife is preoccupied with kids, etc. and they don't have sex as often as he would like.
I think it is just human nature. Most people in long term relationships eventually cheat...if not physically, then definitely mentally.
They were great experiences for me because they were all at times in my life when I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was too preoccupied with work and other things. It was a great way to fill my sexual needs while not taking my focus off of other parts of my life.
For the record, I didn't chase or pursue any of these men. Two I met online, and the third I met out one evening and there was just an instant mutual attraction. In all cases, the sex was fantastic...part of it may have been the whole forbidden fruit thing.
Out of curiosity, I asked two of them why they cheated. Both spoke very highly of their wives...claimed to love them. One said that after you are together for so long, you just want somebody new once in a while for excitement. The other said his wife is preoccupied with kids, etc. and they don't have sex as often as he would like.
I think it is just human nature. Most people in long term relationships eventually cheat...if not physically, then definitely mentally.
Metilda, I can't speak for the OP, but I thought he just gave bondage an one example. He said it's "the same with anything I suggest." My impression is she is not interested in anything at all beyond oral and intercourse.
I do strongly disagree with your assertion that bondage is only for a select few. Perhaps more extreme forms- such as being suspended from the ceiling- are something most people are not interested in, but most people I know have at least tried the standard silk scarves idea a few times. That is hardly exotic, especially in long term couples. He sounds like a man who wants his relationship to work. It is obvious he cares very much for his partner and her pleasure. It takes two people. He can't give her what she wants if she is unwilling to tell him what that is.
I do strongly disagree with your assertion that bondage is only for a select few. Perhaps more extreme forms- such as being suspended from the ceiling- are something most people are not interested in, but most people I know have at least tried the standard silk scarves idea a few times. That is hardly exotic, especially in long term couples. He sounds like a man who wants his relationship to work. It is obvious he cares very much for his partner and her pleasure. It takes two people. He can't give her what she wants if she is unwilling to tell him what that is.
I think whatever the guy wants to do is fine. However, some people have more hair than others. If a guy is very hairy and I am spitting out hairs every 30 seconds, I probably won't spend as much time there as I would otherwise. In a case like that, a man might want to consider shaving or even just trimming the foliage a bit. I'm just being honest.
I hate to say this, but I see big trouble ahead if something doesn't change. If she is repeatedly declining to try anything new, then the sex is going to get very stale very quickly. You should not give up - if you do, you are resigning yourself to the same style of sex for as long as you are with her. Imagine how you will feel 5 years down the road, or 10, or 20.
Try having a talk with her. Ask her to be specific about why she is not interested in the things you suggest. You say you asked about light bondage and she said "maybe some other time" two years ago. I hope you have brought it up again since then. Nobody wants to be harassed every day about trying something new in bed, but it is perfectly acceptable, in fact it is good, to bring it up periodically. Opinions can change once people have time to think about something for a while. Plus, it will clue her in to how important this is to you. Make sure she understands that this is important to you. If she thinks it is just some passing thought you had, she may never make an effort to be more adventurous.
Ask her if there is anything she would like to try instead. If she is unwilling to openly discuss this and you can't reach some type of agreement you are both happy with, then you should very seriously think about whether this relationship has any long term potential. I'm not saying sex is everything...it is clearly not...but it is VERY important in a romantic relationship. Without good sex and good communication, couples can easily drift apart.
Lots of people have something they are not interested in trying, but if there is a whole laundry list and they want just plain vanilla and you want something more, then you are sexually incompatible. Lots of people have ended relationships over this issue. But have a heart to heart talk first. Try to work it out. Whatever you do, don't just remain quiet and pretend the problem doesn't exist. It won't get any better on its own.
Try having a talk with her. Ask her to be specific about why she is not interested in the things you suggest. You say you asked about light bondage and she said "maybe some other time" two years ago. I hope you have brought it up again since then. Nobody wants to be harassed every day about trying something new in bed, but it is perfectly acceptable, in fact it is good, to bring it up periodically. Opinions can change once people have time to think about something for a while. Plus, it will clue her in to how important this is to you. Make sure she understands that this is important to you. If she thinks it is just some passing thought you had, she may never make an effort to be more adventurous.
Ask her if there is anything she would like to try instead. If she is unwilling to openly discuss this and you can't reach some type of agreement you are both happy with, then you should very seriously think about whether this relationship has any long term potential. I'm not saying sex is everything...it is clearly not...but it is VERY important in a romantic relationship. Without good sex and good communication, couples can easily drift apart.
Lots of people have something they are not interested in trying, but if there is a whole laundry list and they want just plain vanilla and you want something more, then you are sexually incompatible. Lots of people have ended relationships over this issue. But have a heart to heart talk first. Try to work it out. Whatever you do, don't just remain quiet and pretend the problem doesn't exist. It won't get any better on its own.
I agree that you should replace the dildos/vibrators. etc. Perhaps they can be a parting gift for the ex-girlfriend and help ends things on a positive note.
However, I don't see any reason to get rid of things like handcuffs and paddles - the "accessories", as you referred to them. Personally, that seems a bit extreme to me.
Maybe I am just unusual, but I can't see the harm in wearing handcuffs worn by another person. After all, the police reuse theirs all the time, and they don't even clean them.
While it is true that your cock. fingers and mouth are not replaced, somehow the idea of having a vibrator used by God Only Knows Who inserted into my body, even if it has been sanitized, just seems extremely unpleasant...a definite mood killer. At least in the case of body parts, skin cells constantly slough off and are regenerated. Silicone, however, is forever. There is no regeneration.
However, I don't see any reason to get rid of things like handcuffs and paddles - the "accessories", as you referred to them. Personally, that seems a bit extreme to me.
Maybe I am just unusual, but I can't see the harm in wearing handcuffs worn by another person. After all, the police reuse theirs all the time, and they don't even clean them.
While it is true that your cock. fingers and mouth are not replaced, somehow the idea of having a vibrator used by God Only Knows Who inserted into my body, even if it has been sanitized, just seems extremely unpleasant...a definite mood killer. At least in the case of body parts, skin cells constantly slough off and are regenerated. Silicone, however, is forever. There is no regeneration.