Okay, I finally got around to reading these replies. Thanks for responding.
I'm trying to lose weight and I've lost 20 pounds so far, and plan to lose more. That being said, it would be nice if a guy could understand that. The guy I mentioned previously who wanted to date me is getting worse health-wise. I don't think he works, and I think his plan is to coast until he can get disability.
I try to explain and give examples of what I've been dealing with. If I seem overly detailed, sorry. I like to write and I like to give examples of what has happened. And feel free to tune out. Most men do.
There's really no place to go to meet the kind of men that I want to meet. I've gone jogging, skating, walking around the mall, and walking around my neighborhood, but it really blows when I smile and say hi to the men out working in their yards, etc. and they don't respond to me. If they aren't going to smile and say hi back, why bother?
The one guy I've been really interested in is married. He started talking to me last fall (he complimented me on my hair right after I got it cut) and I developed a crush on him. I really felt like I hit it off with him, but he's married. He approached me (he initiated conversation) and I felt comfortable with that, so I started talking to him. I've tried to start conversations with men, only to have that glazed look in their eye, even when I ask THEM questions that are legitimate and not stupid bullshit small talk questions.
I go skiing because I love it, and I go to an amusement park on a regular basis, but I've spent the entire day at both places without seeing a man I'm interested in talking to, nor do men approach me. And if they do talk to me at the ski place, it's to ask me if I want to borrow goggles or something.
So I'm out there doing stuff that I like, but the men I see don't strike me as being very interesting. If I ski every weekend and go to the amusement park every week during the summer (which I cannot afford) I doubt I would improve my chances.
I think I know what the answer is. Something is terribly wrong with me and I can't figure out what's wrong, what will work (I've been in therapy for four years now) and I'm almost tired to death trying to figure it out.
Thanks anyway.