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JanellElizabethMeyer
Over 90 days ago
Female, 155
United States
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JanellElizabethMeyer
Rookie Scribe
Okay, I finally got around to reading these replies. Thanks for responding.

I'm trying to lose weight and I've lost 20 pounds so far, and plan to lose more. That being said, it would be nice if a guy could understand that. The guy I mentioned previously who wanted to date me is getting worse health-wise. I don't think he works, and I think his plan is to coast until he can get disability.

I try to explain and give examples of what I've been dealing with. If I seem overly detailed, sorry. I like to write and I like to give examples of what has happened. And feel free to tune out. Most men do.

There's really no place to go to meet the kind of men that I want to meet. I've gone jogging, skating, walking around the mall, and walking around my neighborhood, but it really blows when I smile and say hi to the men out working in their yards, etc. and they don't respond to me. If they aren't going to smile and say hi back, why bother?

The one guy I've been really interested in is married. He started talking to me last fall (he complimented me on my hair right after I got it cut) and I developed a crush on him. I really felt like I hit it off with him, but he's married. He approached me (he initiated conversation) and I felt comfortable with that, so I started talking to him. I've tried to start conversations with men, only to have that glazed look in their eye, even when I ask THEM questions that are legitimate and not stupid bullshit small talk questions.

I go skiing because I love it, and I go to an amusement park on a regular basis, but I've spent the entire day at both places without seeing a man I'm interested in talking to, nor do men approach me. And if they do talk to me at the ski place, it's to ask me if I want to borrow goggles or something.

So I'm out there doing stuff that I like, but the men I see don't strike me as being very interesting. If I ski every weekend and go to the amusement park every week during the summer (which I cannot afford) I doubt I would improve my chances.

I think I know what the answer is. Something is terribly wrong with me and I can't figure out what's wrong, what will work (I've been in therapy for four years now) and I'm almost tired to death trying to figure it out.

Thanks anyway.
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JanellElizabethMeyer
Rookie Scribe
I have several songs, or instrumental pieces that I would list. Probably too many to remember, but here are a few in no particular order:

"All I Want" by Toad the Wet Sprocket. The 1990s seemed like a great time for me. I was like a kid, but I was an adult. I had plenty of time and money and credit cards to travel, go to concerts, and time to socialize. Every time I hear this song, I think of the vibe of that period, and how good it was.

"Everybody Wants To Rule the World" by Tears For Fears. Seems like a happy and sad song at the same song. Like, you've got to give everything your best shot, but even if you didn't make it, at least you tried.

Pretty much any R&B song from the 1970s. Even if they talked about "getting it on" they did it in a way that wasn't vulgar. And the vocals seemed so pretty, along with the instrumentation, which seemed to use a wide variety of sounds.

"Get Down Tonight" by KC and the Sunshine Band. That opening guitar solo is awesomely iconic.

"Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS. A sensual, soulful song with a great sax solo.

"Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White" by Perez Prado. A cha cha cha from the 50s. Sexy and chock full of personality, I think of my dad when I hear this, because he loved Latin jazz and Afro-Cuban jazz music, among other things.

Instrumental selections from "Carmen" by Bizet. My dad would play this on Sunday mornings. So dramatic and Spanish and proud.

"Nessun Dorma" from Turandot. When Paul Potts sang this, I cried. Again, romance and drama.

There's a lot more, but that's what I have for now!
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JanellElizabethMeyer
Rookie Scribe
Greetings gentlemen, and any ladies reading this!

I've sort of made peace with this issue, but I've not had luck with men in my life. I've been picked on as a kid, and my brother has treated me horribly (so I refuse to call him, unless he calls me) and as a result, I've been a bit afraid of men for a long time. I've had crushes on guys and guys ONLY, but if I approached them, they always turned me down. After decades of this, I told myself, "just concentrate on yourself, and getting a career or better job, make some money, and live your life. You probably won't ever meet a guy, so just get on with it, and don't base your life's happiness on whether or not you get a boyfriend" (I was 39 when I made this declaration, and never had a boyfriend--I'd dated guys, but never a boyfriend.) A few months after I made this declaration, someone who had read some of my writing a few months before, who had commented on it, contacted me and we started emailing. We eventually went out, and I finally had a relationship.

I was attracted to him and everything, and the first couple months it seemed okay, but then it went downhill. Long story short, we were together for 3 1/2 years. I learned some things I should have learned when I was 20, but one thing I haven't learned is why I've not had good luck when it comes to men.

I could not seduce anyone to save my life. I feel invisible. And I'd like to know how much self-esteem and confidence play in the whole man-woman thing. I was more accomplished than my boyfriend (I was 12 years older) but he was threatened that I eventually made more money than he did (I was working three jobs) and dismissed the writing I do (he called it G-rated porn) and told me a book project I'd wanted to work on was stupid.

But long before I met him, I never knew how to talk to men, and even now, sometimes they condescend to me. I feel like sometimes I have this tattoo on my forehead that is visible only to men, and it says, "treat me like shit." I don't know if it's my looks or what. I have a weak chin, which I've been self-conscious about for YEARS. Even when I was slender, I had bad luck with men. The men I was always attracted to were always taken, and the available guys I was not attracted to.

There's a guy I've known for 10 years, and I could probably have been his girlfriend, but I am not attracted to him. Even though I am overweight, I exercise, and I like to go out and do stuff--check out the street fairs and festivals, go to amusement parks, take walks, things like that. This guy is way too overweight to do stuff like that, and I don't want to sit around and just eat all the time with him. I am not the kind of woman who can wrap guys around her finger (I'd love to know what that's like) so it's not like I can say, "hey, let's walk around the mall for a while," or "hey, let's go to the gym."

A friend suggested I go on Match.com after my breakup, and for kicks, I saw some of the guys that were "matches" but I am not attracted to any of them, nor do their profiles seem particularly interesting to me.

I am the kind of woman that you don't notice. I've wondered why men seem to ignore me, and everyone has told me, "just be yourself." Well, being "myself" is not what men want. I've wondered where I've gone wrong. I think it's way too late for me, because I've looked and wondered and I can't find the answer. It can't be the fact that I'm overweight, because I've seen (and I've known) morbidly obese women who have husbands or guy friends, and one that I know personally is downright narcissistic. She used to say mean things to me until she pushed my button one too many times and I got back at her and told her I was tired of her shit.

It would be nice on occasion to step out with a guy that I dig, but I've had bad luck with men, and feel that if I advertise on a site, I'll attract some real weirdos (I worked with someone who went on to murder a local professor, and his accomplices were caught, but the guy I worked with wasn't caught until about six or seven years ago.) I'm getting really good feedback on my writing, and I'm trying to get through a financial crisis (which I think will end in a few months), so I've got some things to look forward to, but I wonder where I've gone wrong when it comes to men. The guy I've felt the most confident with ran off to marry a girlfriend (whom I didn't know about until my friend came back to town and told me about her). I knew the marriage would end, and I was right. My friend moved back to town, and I contacted him to ask what happened to us (I am not sure why he kept her a secret; if we were just friends, why wouldn't he tell me about her until the last minute) and he apologized, but we have not resumed our friendship. I emailed him a few times, and he responded, but the last time I emailed him it was last summer and he never wrote me back.

Any thoughts?
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JanellElizabethMeyer
Rookie Scribe
Quote by HappyEndings
The trailer parks are absolutely full of women that prefer a man's big heart.

The top travel spots in the world are full of women that prefer a fat wallet. (NOTE: Women need great looks and bodies to qualify for this position)

The beds are full of women that love that big cock and it's certainly fun and feels good but it doesn't last long and leaves them thinking of fat wallets.

The real truth that is completely self evident to most men that have been around much is that an average size cock will get you by 95% of the time and a big heart will get you a good stable woman that will burden you with kids, a big mortgage, and a woman that loses interest in sex shortly after marriage. Money will get you almost any woman you want and if you're smart you'll never let one take your money when you tire of her and want another.

Men that know women will tell you that no matter what a woman says, she wants security first, last, and most importantly and that's what truly motivates women and unless she's ovulating and looking for a sperm donor to make babies, she'll go for the money every time when she actually makes a decision on what man to pick.

It's an oversimplification but women want security (money) and men want big tits on an insatiable whore. LOL

I know this post won't make me very popular but I've never been very popular anyway and at least I don't spread around a bunch of BS in hopes of duping some woman into sex. I DO wish I got more sex though but then who doesn't... LOL










Yes, that's pretty much it. People may not like you, but I agree with you on this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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JanellElizabethMeyer
Rookie Scribe
I use a Homedics massager. That definitely does the job! It says not to use it on small places (haha) but I like the fact I can adjust the intensity of it. I also have a leather paddle left over from when I had a boyfriend.
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