@FicklePickleTickle:
You're absolutely right. I have actually shaped up. I am seeking the help that I need to become the person that I know I am.
And she knows the reason to why I acted cold towards her, we have talked about, quite a bit as well.
It might turn out to not work for us if we decide to give things a try, but that is a risk I will have to take, and she agrees with me.
But as for the part about whacking off to porn.. I'm not sure whether or not it's normal, but I actually don't do that. I need intimacy to work, I just can't get off watching porn and masturbating, or masturbating at all for that matter.
I'm not going to lie though, it does get sooooo frustrating sometimes, it's been over 4 years since I was with a girl last
@HoneyBee000:
That's true, but I didn't mean for it to sound like I put that much weight onto her being able to make me smile. I know I make her smile, I know I make her feel special, and I know she likes it. (She's said so herself.. so nothing I'm just imagining)
But yes, one have to overcome fears to be able to achieve what one want. Which is what I am working on right now.
@Magical_felix:
I do have very low self esteem, and I know you are right - it's all in my head.
I am currently taking it slow with her, as she and I have decided to.
Anyway, I did tell her exactly how I felt, we talked about it for a while. And the conclusion we came to is that she isn't in the right frame of mind to be commited in a relationship right now, she is still being haunted by her ex.
But we did decide that we're going to give it some time, we're going to continue being friends for a while till things settle down, but there is very well a chance of there becoming something between us both.
She likes me, and I like her. That's all it takes for things to start off. I'm not going to worry about things as I have done before.
Worrying too much only leads to self destructive behaviour. And I refuse to have a part of that anymore.
I know what I want, I'm not going to be afraid to go after it.
But I really do appreciate all the help.
And sorry for neglecting this topic for so long, there's just been a whole lot of things going on IRL. I decided to do something with how I feel, and that is taking up most of my time.
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I can't really recall there ever being any pain for me when I haven't wanked or had sex in a while. Up until just recently I didn't have ANY sexual activity for almost 4 years (something happened, I completely just lost my 'sexdrive' - didn't sleep with anyone or have a wank during that period).
But then again, as someone have pointed out already, all males are different - some might feel some pain, or a stinging sensation - but I'm not one of those.
But then again, as someone have pointed out already, all males are different - some might feel some pain, or a stinging sensation - but I'm not one of those.
Thanks for the reply.
The reason to why I'm playing games in the first place is due to me suffering from social phobia, something that I'm working on to overcome - but it doesn't go away just over night.
And I'm constantly trying to improve my body, but the results aren't as good as they could be as I have limited ways to improve myself.
True, and most of the time I treat her like she deserves to be treated, like the amazing woman she is. However, there are those rare occasions where I do act like a jerk.
I know I'm probably reading into it all too much, truth to be told, I want people to be straight with me - so when they send mixed messages, I overanalyze things.
I often take things just the way they are said, unless the person in question corrects himself/herself - so people being straight with me is a must.
I tell people how I feel, what my views are on the subject etc, and I expect them to do the same.
But thank you so much for your reply. I will admit that you're right, especially about only living once.
Perhaps I should just go with "What the F..." and get things done, or try to at least.
The reason to why I'm playing games in the first place is due to me suffering from social phobia, something that I'm working on to overcome - but it doesn't go away just over night.
And I'm constantly trying to improve my body, but the results aren't as good as they could be as I have limited ways to improve myself.
True, and most of the time I treat her like she deserves to be treated, like the amazing woman she is. However, there are those rare occasions where I do act like a jerk.
I know I'm probably reading into it all too much, truth to be told, I want people to be straight with me - so when they send mixed messages, I overanalyze things.
I often take things just the way they are said, unless the person in question corrects himself/herself - so people being straight with me is a must.
I tell people how I feel, what my views are on the subject etc, and I expect them to do the same.
But thank you so much for your reply. I will admit that you're right, especially about only living once.
Perhaps I should just go with "What the F..." and get things done, or try to at least.
Hmm, this isn't as much only how I would take your virginity as it is taking anyones virginity.
I would make the both of us a lovely dinner, setup on a table with lit candles and the 12 most beautiful roses you could imagine. Attempting to make you feel like you were the only woman in the world.
After we had eaten I would have offered to give you a nice massage with some music running in the background (Feelin' Love by Paula Cole).
I would make you lie down comfortably on my massage table, and then I would start by slowly caressing your back, doing my utmost at making you feel euphoric and comfortable.
I'd gently let my palms explore your back, your neck, your legs and eventually your butt. I would make you feel that shivering feeling of lust going up your spine.
I would then lean over you and kiss you on your right shoulder, then you left shoulder and then kiss you once more in the middle of you back, while still massaging you.
Just as you start feeling really relaxed and that you could fall asleep, I would cover your body with a towel again - as I went to tap a bathtub with water for you. I would get back to you, and massage the top of your head with my fingertips.
While you would be taking your hot bath, I would create a atmosphere of lust throughout the house. I would put on some music, put out the old candles and light a few new ones, and await you to come out from the bathroom, dressed in your bathrobe.
I would walk towards you and hug you, then hold you in my arms as I compliment you on how much of an amazing woman you really are. I would slowly start to reveal your body as I undress your left shoulder from the bathrobe, and then your right shoulder, and let the bathrobe slide down your body, hitting the floor where you are stood. I would pick you up and carry you to the bedroom, and lay you down on the bed. I would admire your body as I would lie down next to you, asking you if you were sure that you would want to do this. As you say that you were sure, I would place my head between your tighs and caress your lady bits with my mouth and tongue, kissing you softly. When you get closer to reaching an orgasm I would crawl up and kiss you, letting the both of us taste your juices as we kiss passionately. As our kiss runs towards its end, I would undress myself before you, not losing eyecontact for even a second. Then I would place my cock between your legs, gently thrusting my throbbing pole inside of you - as I would watch your face, to see you as you lose your virginity.
This is a getting a little longwinded, and I'm far from a great writer. I have poor grammar and a limited vocabulary. But I will let you picture the rest yourself.
I would make the both of us a lovely dinner, setup on a table with lit candles and the 12 most beautiful roses you could imagine. Attempting to make you feel like you were the only woman in the world.
After we had eaten I would have offered to give you a nice massage with some music running in the background (Feelin' Love by Paula Cole).
I would make you lie down comfortably on my massage table, and then I would start by slowly caressing your back, doing my utmost at making you feel euphoric and comfortable.
I'd gently let my palms explore your back, your neck, your legs and eventually your butt. I would make you feel that shivering feeling of lust going up your spine.
I would then lean over you and kiss you on your right shoulder, then you left shoulder and then kiss you once more in the middle of you back, while still massaging you.
Just as you start feeling really relaxed and that you could fall asleep, I would cover your body with a towel again - as I went to tap a bathtub with water for you. I would get back to you, and massage the top of your head with my fingertips.
While you would be taking your hot bath, I would create a atmosphere of lust throughout the house. I would put on some music, put out the old candles and light a few new ones, and await you to come out from the bathroom, dressed in your bathrobe.
I would walk towards you and hug you, then hold you in my arms as I compliment you on how much of an amazing woman you really are. I would slowly start to reveal your body as I undress your left shoulder from the bathrobe, and then your right shoulder, and let the bathrobe slide down your body, hitting the floor where you are stood. I would pick you up and carry you to the bedroom, and lay you down on the bed. I would admire your body as I would lie down next to you, asking you if you were sure that you would want to do this. As you say that you were sure, I would place my head between your tighs and caress your lady bits with my mouth and tongue, kissing you softly. When you get closer to reaching an orgasm I would crawl up and kiss you, letting the both of us taste your juices as we kiss passionately. As our kiss runs towards its end, I would undress myself before you, not losing eyecontact for even a second. Then I would place my cock between your legs, gently thrusting my throbbing pole inside of you - as I would watch your face, to see you as you lose your virginity.
This is a getting a little longwinded, and I'm far from a great writer. I have poor grammar and a limited vocabulary. But I will let you picture the rest yourself.
Let's start off with me giving a description about myself:
I'm a 20 years old Male, I've never been in a real relationship (I've been in one, which I was treated badly in and was cheated on).
I don't get out a whole lot, I mostly just play games and chat with various people.
I'm quite insecure due to how I've been treated before, I have some trust issues.
In short; I'm nothing amazing really, I've got a personality just like everyone else, and I'm simply a person just like them.
I'm the type of guy who wants to please the most important people in my life. (I.e. buying roses and making a dinner to a girlfriend just because she is who she is, cuddle during movies, have a romantic evening etc)
I do hold a grudge against the majority of the males I've come across, because they have turned out to be assholes.
And in the section down below there is nothing too impressive either. My cock is roughly 6.5inches long and 6inches around, which I've been told is average.
Anyway, to the point. I've met a a woman while playing a game, she is 2 years older than me and not the woman I would typically fall for.
She is very athletic (I'm not, I'm a bit big - I'll admit that), she is smart, fun, beautiful, creative, witty, confident - the list could be made long.
I love spending time together with her, and she loves spending time together with me. But the both of us have been abused in previous relationship.
I got abused mentally and I was cheated on, she was abused physically once (and once is once too many, imho).
I have told her that I do fancy her, and she admitted herself that she liked me (not in what way, though).
I'm not going to lie, I've acted like a jerk towards her lately (i.e. sort of being a bit dismissive, short etc) - but the reason isn't her, it's some personal reasons. (Which I've told her about)
If anyone else had acted towards her in that way they would have got their ass kicked, but I've done it four times now out of stress, but yet she and I just carry on like we normally do.
We can argue a bit just like anyone else, but it's soon out of sight and things are back to normal.
And yes, I do loathe myself for acting that way towards her.
The few times we've talked about things becoming a bit more, she usually says "I don't know, with how my ex treated me I'm a bit defensive". Which I can relate to and understand completely.
But she's agreed that we can get to know eachother better when she feels the time is right. And I have in no way stated that we should just jump head start into a relationship.
I believe my words were "Ok, I'm going to be straight with you here - which I hope won't offend you. I really do like you, you're an amazing woman, and when you feel that the time is right, I would really want to get to know you better.
To see where things lead.".
I am doing my best to show her that I'm nothing like her ex, and that I wouldn't put her through any grief intentionally.
I'm by her side when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm there for her when she feels like just doing something, I try to give her things that I know she wants.
I've never been too good with words when I'm asking for help, so forgive me if it's a bit hard to read. I have a limited vocabulary and my grammar is close to awful.
Do you think there might be something there, or am I just imagining there is, because I would want there to be?
But hopefully you have got to know me a bit by reading what I've written, and feel that you know just about what type of person I am. And if there is anything else that you would want to know, don't hesitate to ask.
So if you see any way that might be of a inconveniance for her, would love to hear what that might be.
Best regards, GaspaTree.
I'm a 20 years old Male, I've never been in a real relationship (I've been in one, which I was treated badly in and was cheated on).
I don't get out a whole lot, I mostly just play games and chat with various people.
I'm quite insecure due to how I've been treated before, I have some trust issues.
In short; I'm nothing amazing really, I've got a personality just like everyone else, and I'm simply a person just like them.
I'm the type of guy who wants to please the most important people in my life. (I.e. buying roses and making a dinner to a girlfriend just because she is who she is, cuddle during movies, have a romantic evening etc)
I do hold a grudge against the majority of the males I've come across, because they have turned out to be assholes.
And in the section down below there is nothing too impressive either. My cock is roughly 6.5inches long and 6inches around, which I've been told is average.
Anyway, to the point. I've met a a woman while playing a game, she is 2 years older than me and not the woman I would typically fall for.
She is very athletic (I'm not, I'm a bit big - I'll admit that), she is smart, fun, beautiful, creative, witty, confident - the list could be made long.
I love spending time together with her, and she loves spending time together with me. But the both of us have been abused in previous relationship.
I got abused mentally and I was cheated on, she was abused physically once (and once is once too many, imho).
I have told her that I do fancy her, and she admitted herself that she liked me (not in what way, though).
I'm not going to lie, I've acted like a jerk towards her lately (i.e. sort of being a bit dismissive, short etc) - but the reason isn't her, it's some personal reasons. (Which I've told her about)
If anyone else had acted towards her in that way they would have got their ass kicked, but I've done it four times now out of stress, but yet she and I just carry on like we normally do.
We can argue a bit just like anyone else, but it's soon out of sight and things are back to normal.
And yes, I do loathe myself for acting that way towards her.
The few times we've talked about things becoming a bit more, she usually says "I don't know, with how my ex treated me I'm a bit defensive". Which I can relate to and understand completely.
But she's agreed that we can get to know eachother better when she feels the time is right. And I have in no way stated that we should just jump head start into a relationship.
I believe my words were "Ok, I'm going to be straight with you here - which I hope won't offend you. I really do like you, you're an amazing woman, and when you feel that the time is right, I would really want to get to know you better.
To see where things lead.".
I am doing my best to show her that I'm nothing like her ex, and that I wouldn't put her through any grief intentionally.
I'm by her side when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm there for her when she feels like just doing something, I try to give her things that I know she wants.
I've never been too good with words when I'm asking for help, so forgive me if it's a bit hard to read. I have a limited vocabulary and my grammar is close to awful.
Do you think there might be something there, or am I just imagining there is, because I would want there to be?
But hopefully you have got to know me a bit by reading what I've written, and feel that you know just about what type of person I am. And if there is anything else that you would want to know, don't hesitate to ask.
So if you see any way that might be of a inconveniance for her, would love to hear what that might be.
Best regards, GaspaTree.