DO NOT CALL THE POLICE:
From This American Life, a story about a rookie cop’s first day:
The young officer and his partner are called to a house. The homeowner says something is moving in the attic.
Trying to be nice, the rookie volunteers to scope the situation out. He climbs the attic ladder, hefting his police issue flashlight, and pokes his head through the crawlspace, only to find a squirrel six inches from his face.
And the error pile-up begins.
Startled police officer drops flashlight — right on the homeowner’s nose.
Startled police officer then falls off ladder — onto partner.
Squirrel hops down ladder, over the downed officers, and finds refuge under the sofa.
The cops try to herd the squirrel out from under the sofa and into a cardboard box.
Squirrel makes a break for it — instead of the box, chooses the (lit) fireplace.
Squirrels, as it turns out, are highly flammable.
So are sofas. Squirrel runs out of fire and back under sofa.
Trying to put out the fire, the policemen turn over the sofa, and give the smoldering fire access to all the oxygen it needs to turn into a first-rate blaze.
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Lush Sex Stories Forum » General » The Lounge » What are you reading?
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What are you reading?
colin123
Posted: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 11:51:36 AM
Lush Platinum membercolin123
Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/17/2014
Posts: 1,983
Pretty boy. Autobiography of Roy Shaw, Roy was a bare knuckle fighter and unlicensed boxer. I had the priveledge of knowing Roy who was a genuine guy.
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FrednEthel
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2021 1:07:17 AM"
Annie Sprinkle (Ethel)
Queensnake (Fred)
What are these things? Panties ...
(She) Lives on ten.
(The building has nine floors.)
My 20 minutes was from 10:15 AM to 10:35 AM Thursday, March 16, 2006.
Thanks Andy.
I'm Ethel, I just joined here and I am lost.
I got kicked off of Literotica for "violating" a "rule" that I don't think I did violate.
The first thing I did here was ask for a definition of "ZZZ" (something that was banned there as well as here).
The rules say I cannot post "true" stories about ___. I also cannot post anything on the subject of "ZZZ" on the forum, or in the chat room. But the definition of "ZZZ" is unclear. Here the "rules" say that "ZZZ" is "Y" between "A" "B" people. (The problem being A is a variable with no set value. (Like how much cayenne pepper is too much?)
We are all people, so at one logical extreme it bans all communication. Logically, that cannot be a valid interpretation. At the other extreme it does not include what I want to say. Which is fine, unless after I've unpacked my metaphorical bags I am told to leave.
The "rules" go on to say that "ZZZ" is illegal. That is truly a can of worms. It isn't illegal in New York State (where I live) or in the adjoining states of Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont or any of Canada. But it is illegal, or banned without criminal penalty in 17 US States. There is no federal law against it.
Then it goes on to say it's banned at Lush if a majority of site members find it "highly objectionable." Has there been a referendum? What is "highly objectionable"? The answer is becoming more confusing than the question.
I want to be respectful of the rules here. I don't want to offend or be writing where I am not welcome. What I am "not talking" about is legal and not that unusual in New York, but often gets conflated with something that is illegal and pretty rare. (Like using a law against "drugs" to ban aspirin, which technically IS a drug.)
I don't want to be in a place where I am not welcome. I don't want to break any of the rules here. I would truly welcome a PM so I could "fill in the blanks" and ask the question straight out.
--Ethel
Writing the first group sex erotic story to win both the Pulitzer and the Nobel Prize for Literature. A work that causes everybody to seriously think about society and the unrealistic expectations of monogamy.
That's long term.
Short term is getting another bottle of Pinot Noir without falling down those stairs.
Except for the lack of kids getting out of school around the block, pretty much the same thing I hear between 2 PM and 4 PM.
"New York, New York, is everything they say
And no place that I'd rather be
Where else can you do a half a million things
All at a quarter to three"
--Huey Lewis and John Victor Colla
We didn't grow up here, the town we grew up in had a population of 1,232. (That was in the 2010 census, it was even smaller way back in time.)
Nope,
Hairs catch the moisture and the scent. What's one between your teeth occasionally?
But then again girls are, on average, less visual than guys.
--Ethel
I (Ethel) picked it. It's how Fred (my husband) makes me feel.
Does the number of days it will take you to recover exceed your number of accrued sick days, comp time, and personal days at work?
Yes = yes.
No = no.
Foreigner: a British-American rock band, originally formed in New York City in 1976 by Mick Jones, Ian McDonald, Lou Gramm, Al Greenwood and Ed Gagliardi.
No.
A brandy snifter of 2018 Benovia Russian River Valley Pinot Noir.
With my friend and neighbor Liz wondering if I can write about her.
It's 2:10 PM EDT and we are at a table on the rooftop terrace, looking out at the city and the weird "socially distanced" hustle bustle, waiting for Fred.
&ved=2ahUKEwj1xcazgr7vAhWSFqwKHQm5BZ8QMygIegUIARCWAQ)