Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Driverman
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male
United States
Forum
Rookie Scribe
Quote by Guest
What do you say to those who when they wish to reach out and join the BDSM community, seek a dominant that is abusive, that is humiliating. There are submissives out there who wish to be treated as such, to be controlled in every aspect of life..belittled, humiliated, etc and to have the opportunity to look up at their dominant and know that their life has meaning if in service of the dom. Would you consider this person as one who seeks to be a part of the BDSM community albeit on the hardcore edge of things or does this person seek something else totally?
Yes there is that dynamic also, but as a Dom you still have the responsibility to keep the sub safe in the end.. you live much closer to the edge when involved in the extreme end of BDSM, that makes your responsibility even keener
Rookie Scribe
I have not always been the Master, Dominate and Daddy Dom I am today. It’s been a journey, a transformation. Not of who I am, but a realization of whom I’ve always been, of who has been inside me all along. It was pointed out to me, at first, by a friend, a submissive. By sending me various articles and research, she showed me that I was a Dominate. This helped me understand who and what I was, but I had no idea what to do with the knowledge or how to handle it.
Through circumstances I won’t expand upon at this time, I was steered toward a Maestro for training in the lifestyle. I learned a lot in a relatively short period of time. I learned that to be a good Master, one needs to understand the submissive. To truly understand a submissive, it is optimal to take the roll of a submissive. As a student, I submitted to my Teacher. I studied and I learned. Today, I am Master to my baby girl, Nordic_Pixie. Even with all the training, I am still learning. She teaches me daily about submissives and their needs. She makes me extremely happy as a Master.
With all this, there is still more I yearn for. When in chatrooms with my baby girl, I observe and learn more. I watch the people and the conversations. There is much to see, ones that are lonesome looking for a connection and some that are players looking for their next orgasm. There are those interested in kinky sex both giving and receiving and there are the role-playing Doms and subs that are just playing the BDSM game. And, of course, there are the true Dominates and submissives.
All are good in their own right, but there is a problem I keep seeing within the BDSM realm. Being Dominate comes with a great deal of responsibility. If you have been gifted the submission of a slave, sub or little, you need to cherish it, know it is a gift and that it can be taken away at any time. The true power in a BDSM relationship is in the ability to retract one’s submission. Therefore, the power is and always will be in the hands of the sub. In most cases, it is also the sub that sets the limits in the relationship.
When submitting, the submissive gives the Dominate the power to destroy his or hers very being and, at the same time, trusting that the Dom does not. As I observe these rooms, I feel a deep need to support and help others to live responsibly in BDSM if this is the path chosen. One should know there is a fine line between a BDSM lifestyle and abuse. Because of the mere definition of BDSM, sadly it draws abusers.
After saying this and with what I have seen, I would like to advocate for a responsible BDSM lifestyle to those who want to live within it, offering to stand up for those in need and to help educate those that would desire to know more. I’d like to act, either as an individual or with others to help answer questions, make suggestions or guide a person to a better understanding of BDSM. My hope is that all participating in BDSM are educated in the difference between true BDSM and abuse and understand the responsibility that comes with the lifestyle.
I invite all thoughts, ideas, counter points and questions.