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I can relate to the above comments, but they all remind me of a joke my mother told me when my Dad retired.
A retired couple went to see a doctor for a checkup and some aging advice. He replied by saying that his most important suggestion was to write yourself a note. They both nodded, and said they thought it was a good idea.
That night they were watching TV, when between shows, the wife says "I am going to get myself some Ice Cream. Do you want anything?"
"Yes, a dish of Ice Cream would be nice. Better write yourself a note" replied her husband.
"I don't need a note to remember a dish of Ice Cream" she said. "Anything else?"
"Some chocolate sauce would be good too"
And with that she went to the kitchen. She came out several minutes later, and handed her husband a plate of fried eggs.
Her husband took the plate, and replied "See, I told you you should have written a note"
"Why?" was her reply.
"You forgot the bacon!"
A retired couple went to see a doctor for a checkup and some aging advice. He replied by saying that his most important suggestion was to write yourself a note. They both nodded, and said they thought it was a good idea.
That night they were watching TV, when between shows, the wife says "I am going to get myself some Ice Cream. Do you want anything?"
"Yes, a dish of Ice Cream would be nice. Better write yourself a note" replied her husband.
"I don't need a note to remember a dish of Ice Cream" she said. "Anything else?"
"Some chocolate sauce would be good too"
And with that she went to the kitchen. She came out several minutes later, and handed her husband a plate of fried eggs.
Her husband took the plate, and replied "See, I told you you should have written a note"
"Why?" was her reply.
"You forgot the bacon!"
A Commuter Airline flight was approaching Seattle when the fog rolled in. Unable to see the ground, the pilot began to circle
in a holding pattern until he was becoming low on fuel. As it was a small plane, the passengers could see what the pilot was doing
in the cockpit. While circling, he slowly descended until they started to go under the fog, and discovered he was circling a building.
Inside the building was a man watching the circling plane.
The pilot still wasn't sure of his location, so he slid open his cockpit window, and yelled to the man "Where am I?"
"In an Airplane" was the reply from the man in the building.
The pilot immediately straightened out his flight, flew a few miles, and made a perfect landing. The passengers applauded the
landing, and when they got off, one of them asked the pilot how he knew where the airport was.
"Simple", replied the pilot. "When the man in the building said I was in an airplane, the answer was both 100% correct
and completely useless. I then knew we were circling Microsoft Technical Support. The airport is 5 miles due east of there."
in a holding pattern until he was becoming low on fuel. As it was a small plane, the passengers could see what the pilot was doing
in the cockpit. While circling, he slowly descended until they started to go under the fog, and discovered he was circling a building.
Inside the building was a man watching the circling plane.
The pilot still wasn't sure of his location, so he slid open his cockpit window, and yelled to the man "Where am I?"
"In an Airplane" was the reply from the man in the building.
The pilot immediately straightened out his flight, flew a few miles, and made a perfect landing. The passengers applauded the
landing, and when they got off, one of them asked the pilot how he knew where the airport was.
"Simple", replied the pilot. "When the man in the building said I was in an airplane, the answer was both 100% correct
and completely useless. I then knew we were circling Microsoft Technical Support. The airport is 5 miles due east of there."
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I don't think this new, but being a golfer I love it....
Rules of Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
Rules of Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
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This has been posted earlier, but it fascinates me. There has to be a good story behind it. I like to think it was taken at a Nudist Camp (now we call them resorts). Maybe it's just me, but I seem to see mom/dau similarities between the women in the front row, and those standing behind them. Am I the only one?
