no. A true BDSM or Master/slave or Master/sub relationship is not about violence. There is a difference between being in an abusive relationship and being in a consensual BDSM relationship. In an abusive relationship, the woman or the man has no say in what is done to him or her. A victim of abuse does not get a vote or get to tell the abuser when enough is enough and to stop. Believe it or not, the dynamics of a BDSM relationship are often driven by the submissive, not by the dominant. The submissive sets the limits; the submissive decides what places can and can not be explored; the submissive has the ability to call a halt to the scene. The dominant, in many ways, is simply a facilitator. It's the dominant's job to create a setting where the people involved can explore the submissive's fantasies. (As an aside, it's important to note that these limits can change over time. It may be that something that used to sound like it wouldn't be fun or interesting might in the future tickle your fancy; and that things you enjoy now, you may not necessarily enjoy in the future. People change over time. It's important, when you explore BDSM, to remember that, and to make a habit of talking to your partner about things you like and don't like as those things change.)
You can argue that a no limit slave has no rights or can set limits as opposed to a submissive, and yes there is a difference, and i identify myself as a slave to my Master not a submissive, but i have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for 7 years now, progressed from a submissive to a slave for my Master, we are active members in a large local BDSM group that meets monthly for Munches and had private play parties, and we are members of an upscale private BDSM Club and attend parties and events there, and i have good friends in the lifestyle who are submissives or slaves and i have yet to meet a true "no limit slave" They don't really exist. Everyone, including myself, has limits if the relationship is consensual. People online can roleplay they don't or i get messages from so-called Doms who tell me they have a harem of women slaves who have no rights or say in anything that is done to them and they and have their slaves do things or do things to them that people would never really do. If 90% of the things online so-called Doms tell me they make their slaves do then they are not true Doms but sadists and abusers of women.
A true Dom may do things that cause their sub or slave pain and if that's consensual then great go for it. I like some levels of pain but i am not a pain slut but i know girls who are and i have seen them "play" and it does amaze me that they can take that level of punishment and enjoy it and if that's what they enjoy them great for them. But a true Dom will know when enough is enough and take care of his submissive afterward. If he does not then he is just a sadist. I have one friend who is such a pain slut she will beg for more and more and not stop the "session" or use her safe word and her Dom knows when its time to stop and take care of her but she begs for him not to. But even she has her limits of what she will do and won't do.
The biggest thing i get judged on in the lifestyle is how my master shares me with other men and or women including 3 gang bangs since i have been his submissive. But again, it goes to consent. I consent to it and hell, i freaking love it! Even though i am a Master's slave i do have a choice when it comes to being shared with others and it's ultimately my decision. I have never said no. I have never said no because i get a great deal of pleasure when Master shares me and it's something i want to do as well.
so that's my two cents worth to the simple question lol But my advice is, if you are in a BDSM relationship and it is more violence or leading to violent behavior on the Doms part then it's time to get out because he is not a true Dom and using BDSM as an excuse to abuse women. Something some men do.
Rookie Scribe