Quote by _O2_
Sorry it took so long. I wish my wife would suggest a threesome with a female. I hope you are happy or soon will be.
Thank you. Yes I have found happiness and a fulfilling sex life. I am happy with my decision
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Alexa8497
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 155
Australia
Forum
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Quote by emersonbosworth
I think you need a boyfriend, maybe he needs a boyfriend too? Talk to him about sharing another man, see if he'd like to play with another man, might surprise you, Can't figure out a guy who doesn't wants sex. Not normal.bDvE5z8h9C6BJMcz
I suggested a threesome with a female, he said no. He wouldnt sleep with a man.
All irrelevant now anyway...he will have to be happy masturbating cos I left him.
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Quote by ChuckEPoo
First of all, my heart goes out to you. That is pretty unusual for being in your twenties. That sounds like the behavior of a couple in their seventies. Your husband needs to see a councilor. The poor hygiene and lack of interest in sex is a sign of withdrawal and depression. I'm assuming this started after you were married. You've got some serious decisions to make. Your whole life is before you. I personally couldn't live a life devoid of intimacy. Sacrifice is mandatory to make any marriage work but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness.
Thank you. Well after 6 long dreadful years I got out. Was the best decision for me.
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It's been a very long time since I've updated this post...
Thanks everyone for your input and advice. The marriage died off...I left and have now been separated over a year. He has moved back overseas to live with his mum and dad. In Australia you have to wait for 12 months to lodge divorce paperwork so that should come through any day now.
After all the discussions and arguments I decided I deserved better and did not want to spend my life that way. I have met a man who's responsible, supportive, caring, loving and we have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.
The best life decision I've made...I'm a million times happier
Alexa xox
Thanks everyone for your input and advice. The marriage died off...I left and have now been separated over a year. He has moved back overseas to live with his mum and dad. In Australia you have to wait for 12 months to lodge divorce paperwork so that should come through any day now.
After all the discussions and arguments I decided I deserved better and did not want to spend my life that way. I have met a man who's responsible, supportive, caring, loving and we have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.
The best life decision I've made...I'm a million times happier
Alexa xox
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Quote by monainohio
it is not normal for him to be like he is if you was married to me not only I coud not keep my handa off you but your clothes would not be on not long after you wallk in the door but tell him about you him and another girl in bed with you two and see what he does or say
I asked him about a threesome with another girl...he refused.
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Quote by PlsrKing
Maybe you should try getting slightly more curves, and/or instead of toys, sit in front of him and masterbate using your fingers/hand.
Does he like blowjobs?
I think I have enough curves...I have a round butt and DD breasts. At the end of the day, I didn't ask him to get his six pack back (like he was when we met) so I don't think its fair for him to expect me to change for him. Especially if its on the unhealthy side.
As for the masturbating, I tried that and he walked out. He enjoys BJs but doesn't cum from it and hence doesn't see it as a necessity. He doesn't go down me either.
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Quote by da_rk
maybe i'm speaking out of turn... but you should definitely leave him.
if he loves you then he will come and find you and change his ways
hope you get things sorted... for your own sanity
I appreciate your input. I am so lost and conflicted about all this that I feel like I needed to pool some resources and opinions before I decide on the next step.
Now we are at the point where I've shut off emotionally and he's wondering why I'm so cold.
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Quote by PlsrKing
He's at home, stuck on porn in the daytime, no more energy for you. Was there once. Had to fight to break the habit. It's a marriage killer!
We've talked about this issue countless times as well. Its at a point now where he's actually lying to me about his porn usage.
I just think its sh*t for him to expect me to not have any toys, not see a counselor and not sleep with any other man if he's not up to the game.
I'm still young (27) and don't want to be wasting my life with someone who doesn't want me like that.
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Quote by sweetcutecock
like everyone else here,i'm thinking depression, try a shrink,in the mean time,i hope your toys do you some justice,you can also try usingthe toys in front of him,that might cause a little spark
He refuses all counselling. Will not see anyone at all.
As for toys, I don't have any. He doesn't like them or me using them on myself. Me doing this in front of him would cause him to walk straight back out of the room. As I said, he doesn't like anything
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Quote by Roxysawyer
There is nothing normal about this. You need to sit him down and explain your needs and ask what it takes to get him interested. If that doesn't work tell him you have needs and if he doesn't fill them you will find somebody that will. There is a chance he wants you to enjoy other men. I enjoy my wife being with other men. I like being with her and other women too. Maybe you need to see if he wants an open relationship.
We've talked about an open marriage...it's out of the question. As I mention earlier, he is not into anything in the bedroom but feeding. Not costumes, roleplays, toys etc.
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Quote by Roxysawyer
There is nothing normal about this. You need to sit him down and explain your needs and ask what it takes to get him interested. If that doesn't work tell him you have needs and if he doesn't fill them you will find somebody that will. There is a chance he wants you to enjoy other men. I enjoy my wife being with other men. I like being with her and other women too. Maybe you need to see if he wants an open relationship.
We've talked about an open marriage...it's out of the question. As I mention earlier, he is not into anything in the bedroom but feeding. Not costumes, roleplays, toys etc.
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It's been ages since my original post...I've been trying to work things out in my head.
Things are actually worse than ever. I have suggested counselling and everything else mentioned on here and our relationship has just deteriorated further. He refuses counselling. He says that he loves me yet our sexual relationship is pretty much non existent - it's been longer than 5 months since we were last intimate.
The only thing that has improved is his showering situation (dunno about the teeth brushing though).
He says he simply doesn't need sex like I do (but seriously almost 6 months without?).
I have checked his porn history - he looks at it daily. On top of this, I found out that he is a feeder. I have always known that he liked curvy women (by curvy I mean exactly that, not overweight) but I didn't realise he likes to fatten them up.
To cut a long story short, he tried to do it to me. Saying things like 'we would have more sex if you got bigger' etc. I noticed that I had started to put on weight and told him that it will not happen under any circumstances, he was very disappointed. I asked him that if I chose to lose weight whether or not his attraction to me would diminish and he said an honest 'yes.' Then he says he's attracted to me no matter what, but I now realise that he likes bigger women and I cannot be that woman for him.
At one stage he wanted to take 'progress shots' of my 'weight gain' and at that point I realised what was happening and stopped it immediately. When he tries to touch me now, all that goes through my head is that he's trying to grab fat.
I have my first counselling session (on my own) tomorrow. I have decided to leave him...but I don't really know how. He can be nice and funny, but I think for a marriage to work it needs a lot more than that.
I understand that sex drive diminishes after a certain time but I also do not believe it should be like this. Are sexless marriages deal breakers?
Things are actually worse than ever. I have suggested counselling and everything else mentioned on here and our relationship has just deteriorated further. He refuses counselling. He says that he loves me yet our sexual relationship is pretty much non existent - it's been longer than 5 months since we were last intimate.
The only thing that has improved is his showering situation (dunno about the teeth brushing though).
He says he simply doesn't need sex like I do (but seriously almost 6 months without?).
I have checked his porn history - he looks at it daily. On top of this, I found out that he is a feeder. I have always known that he liked curvy women (by curvy I mean exactly that, not overweight) but I didn't realise he likes to fatten them up.
To cut a long story short, he tried to do it to me. Saying things like 'we would have more sex if you got bigger' etc. I noticed that I had started to put on weight and told him that it will not happen under any circumstances, he was very disappointed. I asked him that if I chose to lose weight whether or not his attraction to me would diminish and he said an honest 'yes.' Then he says he's attracted to me no matter what, but I now realise that he likes bigger women and I cannot be that woman for him.
At one stage he wanted to take 'progress shots' of my 'weight gain' and at that point I realised what was happening and stopped it immediately. When he tries to touch me now, all that goes through my head is that he's trying to grab fat.
I have my first counselling session (on my own) tomorrow. I have decided to leave him...but I don't really know how. He can be nice and funny, but I think for a marriage to work it needs a lot more than that.
I understand that sex drive diminishes after a certain time but I also do not believe it should be like this. Are sexless marriages deal breakers?
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My husband and I have a great emotional relationship but when it comes to sex, it really falls short. We've been married for three years and we're both mid to late 20's.
We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).
I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.
He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.
It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.
Any ideas?
We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).
I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.
He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.
It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.
Any ideas?
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Yes and it's terrible. We are both young (under 30) and we went through a period of two years where we were lucky to have sex once every three months. I tried everything and nothing worked. We spoke/fought about it countless times and it's still not good - I'm not sure what I'll do if it continues. Hence why I'm on Lush.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Growing up, boys always used to bully me about my 'chubby-ness' and since becoming a woman and bumping into several of them, they told me they regret what they said to me. I'm not skinny - I would consider myself cuddly however I was somehow blessed with the most desired body shape, the hourglass.
It's nice to see men support all types of bodies!
It's nice to see men support all types of bodies!